What is wailing? Its ruling and the duty of the listener
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Question:
The questioner, Umm Muhammad, asks: Is this hadith authentic or not (The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the wailer, the one present, and the listener)? And if it is authentic, what is our duty if we go to offer condolences, and one of the women present begins to wail, and in this case she does not respond to advice? And what is wailing? And what is its form, O Shaykh?
Answer:
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "I curse the wailer and the listener," and he prohibited wailing, and he rebuked the women for not wailing. If a woman comes to a group to offer condolences and sees them wailing, she should advise them, saying to them: It is not permissible, and wailing is raising the voice with screaming and crying.
As for ordinary crying, there is nothing wrong with it; because of his saying (peace and blessings be upon him):Sahih al-Bukhari 1303 when his son Ibrahim died Mishkat al-Masabih 1722....., one of his daughters had a young child who died, so when he saw him dead, his eyes watered—(peace and blessings be upon him)—so some of the Companions asked him, and he said: Sahih al-Bukhari 1303 And he said the same when he visited Sa'd ibn Ubadah and saw what was wrong with him, he cried, so he was asked (peace and blessings be upon him) about that, and he said: So wailing is raising the voice with crying.
As for crying that does not involve raising the voice, there is no blame in that, yes.
The questioner, Umm Muhammad, asks: Is this hadith authentic or not (The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the wailer, the one present, and the listener)? And if it is authentic, what is our duty if we go to offer condolences, and one of the women present begins to wail, and in this case she does not respond to advice? And what is wailing? And what is its form, O Shaykh?
Answer:
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "I curse the wailer and the listener," and he prohibited wailing, and he rebuked the women for not wailing. If a woman comes to a group to offer condolences and sees them wailing, she should advise them, saying to them: It is not permissible, and wailing is raising the voice with screaming and crying.
As for ordinary crying, there is nothing wrong with it; because of his saying (peace and blessings be upon him):
The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved
العين تدمع، والقلب يحزنbut we say only what our Lord is pleased with, and we are grieved over being separated from you, Ibrahim.
ولا نقول إلا ما يرضي الرب، وإنا بفراقك يا إبراهيم لمحزونونThe eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved
العين تدمع، والقلب يحزنIndeed, Allah does not punish for the weeping of the eye, nor for the sadness of the heart, but He punishes with this or shows mercy, and he pointed to the tongue
إن الله لا يؤاخذ بدمع العين، ولا بحزن القلب، وإنما يؤاخذ بهذا أو يرحم، وأشار إلى اللسانAs for crying that does not involve raising the voice, there is no blame in that, yes.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.