The father has rights, even if he falls short in his duties toward his children
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question:
This questioner (S. F. H.) says—may the Shaykh be respected—that he is a married young man with children, and he praises Allah for that. He says: I left my father's house when I was very young, and I do not remember that day. I opened my eyes and found myself in my uncle's house, who raised me, worked hard for me, spent on me, and guided me greatly. When I sit with my father, I do not feel that he is my father, but when I sit with my uncle, I feel that he is my true father who cares about my affairs. Does my father have any rights?
May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Yes, your father has the rights of fatherhood. It is obligatory to be dutiful to him, to be kind to him, and not to deny his fatherhood. You must be kind to him, greet him with the salam, and strive in all good matters that please him, in a good manner.
Your uncle also has a right, the right of upbringing and kindness. May Allah reward him with good. So you must fulfill both these duties. You must recognize the value of your uncle who was kind to you, and recognize his dutifulness and kindness. You must also recognize the right of your father. Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) says: [Al-Isra: 23]. So the father has a great right. It is obligatory for you to do both: be dutiful to your father, recognize his value, be kind to him, and strive to avoid what angers him or hurts him. You must also, along with this, be kind to your uncle, recognize his value and kindness, and appreciate the good he did for you. This is the conduct of the noble and the good people. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you. Fathers always care for their sons and strive to raise them with an Islamic upbringing. But some fathers—may the Shaykh be respected—may be harsh with their children or make mistakes in upbringing. Is there any guidance for fathers?
The Shaykh: It is obligatory for fathers to fear Allah, to be kind to their children, to raise them with an Islamic upbringing, to be gentle with them, and to be kind to them. This is the duty of fathers. And it is obligatory for mothers to fear Allah, to be kind to their children, to teach them, to guide them to good, and to be a good role model for their children: not only in terms of upbringing, but also in the morals that their children hear and see from them: forgiveness, pardon, good character, generosity toward neighbors, good speech, and other good actions, as well as maintaining prayer and other aspects of good, so that the children will emulate them. So the mother must strive to have her daughters and sons emulate her in good, and the father likewise.
And the child must strive to be dutiful to his parents and be kind to them. If he sees from them something that contradicts the Shari'ah, he should advise them gently and with good words, so that cooperation in righteousness and piety is achieved. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.
This questioner (S. F. H.) says—may the Shaykh be respected—that he is a married young man with children, and he praises Allah for that. He says: I left my father's house when I was very young, and I do not remember that day. I opened my eyes and found myself in my uncle's house, who raised me, worked hard for me, spent on me, and guided me greatly. When I sit with my father, I do not feel that he is my father, but when I sit with my uncle, I feel that he is my true father who cares about my affairs. Does my father have any rights?
May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Yes, your father has the rights of fatherhood. It is obligatory to be dutiful to him, to be kind to him, and not to deny his fatherhood. You must be kind to him, greet him with the salam, and strive in all good matters that please him, in a good manner.
Your uncle also has a right, the right of upbringing and kindness. May Allah reward him with good. So you must fulfill both these duties. You must recognize the value of your uncle who was kind to you, and recognize his dutifulness and kindness. You must also recognize the right of your father. Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) says:
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًاThe presenter: May Allah reward you. Fathers always care for their sons and strive to raise them with an Islamic upbringing. But some fathers—may the Shaykh be respected—may be harsh with their children or make mistakes in upbringing. Is there any guidance for fathers?
The Shaykh: It is obligatory for fathers to fear Allah, to be kind to their children, to raise them with an Islamic upbringing, to be gentle with them, and to be kind to them. This is the duty of fathers. And it is obligatory for mothers to fear Allah, to be kind to their children, to teach them, to guide them to good, and to be a good role model for their children: not only in terms of upbringing, but also in the morals that their children hear and see from them: forgiveness, pardon, good character, generosity toward neighbors, good speech, and other good actions, as well as maintaining prayer and other aspects of good, so that the children will emulate them. So the mother must strive to have her daughters and sons emulate her in good, and the father likewise.
And the child must strive to be dutiful to his parents and be kind to them. If he sees from them something that contradicts the Shari'ah, he should advise them gently and with good words, so that cooperation in righteousness and piety is achieved. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.