Advice for the one who refused to marry off his son until he memorized the Qur'an
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Question:
A message reached the program from one of the listening brothers. The student says: (M. A. H.) from Eritrea. Our brother began his message by saying: I am one of those who benefited from your valuable program in many matters, and I offer my thanks to those in charge of it, as I thank the scholars for their kindness in answering the listeners' questions, and I ask Allah for success for everyone.
I am a young man of twenty-two years old, studying at the Islamic University in al-Madinah al-Munawwarah. My father is keen for me to memorize the Qur'an before anything else. I asked him that I want to get married, and he said: I do not allow you until you memorize the entire Qur'an with precise memorization. If you make a mistake in a part twice, I consider you not a memorizer. I swore by Allah and took a pledge upon myself to memorize the Qur'an. I memorized twenty parts under the condition my father set. I asked my father to allow me to get married, and then I would complete the rest, but he refused. This happened during my vacation trip to my family, and a dispute arose between my parents over this matter, which led to divorce. I returned to the Kingdom angry at my father, and I swore that I would complete the memorization of the Qur'an. Then I entered the college, and I was unable to memorize five parts, but I am maintaining the rest. Then I said to my father in a reply: I swear to you that I have abandoned the memorization of the Qur'an, and consider me undutiful to you from now on.
Now, O His Eminence the Shaykh, I regret what I said to my father. Will I be sinful for it? And am I rewarded for the memorization that was conditioned upon me?
Knowing that I reflect upon the verses of the Qur'an. Is it obligatory for me to memorize it? And I intended by my statement to affirm it to myself? I swore by Allah not to travel to my family for three years, and now I want to travel at my mother's request and her insistence on me. What should I do? Should I travel? Or should I stay here and leave my mother's request?
Please advise us. May Allah reward you with good.
And I hope you would be kind enough to offer advice to my father, perhaps he will listen to it and benefit. I am determined to leave marriage and devote myself to seeking knowledge and memorizing the Qur'an. Is this permissible for me, given that I am a caller to Allah with insight and knowledge? Or is it obligatory for me to get married as long as I am able? I ask for guidance regarding my case.
May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
There is no doubt that your father, may Allah reward him with good, did what he did and said what he said with the intention of doing you good and benefiting you by memorizing the great Book of Allah. So he is to be thanked for his intention, his purpose, and his encouragement of you. But this is not a condition from the perspective of marriage. So my advice to the father is to be lenient, to waive this condition, and to marry you off; because of the great benefits and much good in marriage for you and for him. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Mishkat al-Masabih 3080.
So my advice to the father again is to marry you off, and to be lenient about what happened from you. And you should also ask his forgiveness and seek his pardon for what you wrote to him about undutifulness. You did wrong in what you wrote to him, and it was not befitting for you to do so; because your father's intention was only to advise you, and what happened between him and his wife is not something that concerns you. Rather, it is upon you to intervene with good and kind words.
So the result is: it is upon you to ask your father's forgiveness, and to ask him to pardon you, and to repent to Allah for what you wrote to him of undutifulness and bad words. And it is upon your father to accept it, may Allah reward him with good, that he allows it, and to overlook what happened from you due to the intensity of anger and the desire for marriage. And it is upon you to ask his forgiveness, and to seek his pleasure and pardon for what happened from you. And I ask Allah to guide him so that he will marry you off, and to guide you as well, and to help you in memorizing the Noble Qur'an, and in acquiring beneficial knowledge. And Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) says in His great Book: [Surah al-Talaq: 4].
So I advise you to fear Allah in all circumstances, and I advise you as well to be keen on the pleasure of your father and dutifulness to him, and obedience to him in what is right, and to be keen on memorizing the Book of Allah. And he – if Allah wills – will take the initiative and will do so and will marry you off, even if you have not completed the memorization of the Qur'an.
And it is upon you to respond to the mother and travel, and to expiate your oath; because the right of the mother is great as well, and her right is greater than the right of the father. So we advise you to travel to her, and to expiate your oath by feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, and to seek your father's forgiveness and to take his feelings into account.
And we ask Allah to guide everyone to what pleases Him, and to rectify your state and your heart, and to guide your father to marry you off, and to help you in memorizing His Book and in fulfilling its right, and in calling to it with insight.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
So: that he leaves marriage in order to devote himself to calling to Allah, do you not advise him?
The Shaykh: No, no, we advise him not to leave marriage, but rather to take the initiative. Marriage does not prevent him, it does not prevent him from knowledge, and knowledge does not prevent him from marriage. So he must get married, and continue his studies, and Allah will help him – if Allah wills – yes.
The presenter: If Allah wills, may Allah reward you with good.
A message reached the program from one of the listening brothers. The student says: (M. A. H.) from Eritrea. Our brother began his message by saying: I am one of those who benefited from your valuable program in many matters, and I offer my thanks to those in charge of it, as I thank the scholars for their kindness in answering the listeners' questions, and I ask Allah for success for everyone.
I am a young man of twenty-two years old, studying at the Islamic University in al-Madinah al-Munawwarah. My father is keen for me to memorize the Qur'an before anything else. I asked him that I want to get married, and he said: I do not allow you until you memorize the entire Qur'an with precise memorization. If you make a mistake in a part twice, I consider you not a memorizer. I swore by Allah and took a pledge upon myself to memorize the Qur'an. I memorized twenty parts under the condition my father set. I asked my father to allow me to get married, and then I would complete the rest, but he refused. This happened during my vacation trip to my family, and a dispute arose between my parents over this matter, which led to divorce. I returned to the Kingdom angry at my father, and I swore that I would complete the memorization of the Qur'an. Then I entered the college, and I was unable to memorize five parts, but I am maintaining the rest. Then I said to my father in a reply: I swear to you that I have abandoned the memorization of the Qur'an, and consider me undutiful to you from now on.
Now, O His Eminence the Shaykh, I regret what I said to my father. Will I be sinful for it? And am I rewarded for the memorization that was conditioned upon me?
Knowing that I reflect upon the verses of the Qur'an. Is it obligatory for me to memorize it? And I intended by my statement to affirm it to myself? I swore by Allah not to travel to my family for three years, and now I want to travel at my mother's request and her insistence on me. What should I do? Should I travel? Or should I stay here and leave my mother's request?
Please advise us. May Allah reward you with good.
And I hope you would be kind enough to offer advice to my father, perhaps he will listen to it and benefit. I am determined to leave marriage and devote myself to seeking knowledge and memorizing the Qur'an. Is this permissible for me, given that I am a caller to Allah with insight and knowledge? Or is it obligatory for me to get married as long as I am able? I ask for guidance regarding my case.
May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
There is no doubt that your father, may Allah reward him with good, did what he did and said what he said with the intention of doing you good and benefiting you by memorizing the great Book of Allah. So he is to be thanked for his intention, his purpose, and his encouragement of you. But this is not a condition from the perspective of marriage. So my advice to the father is to be lenient, to waive this condition, and to marry you off; because of the great benefits and much good in marriage for you and for him. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.
يا معشر الشباب، من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج؛ فإنه أغض للبصر، وأحصن للفرج، ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم؛ فإنه له وجاءSo my advice to the father again is to marry you off, and to be lenient about what happened from you. And you should also ask his forgiveness and seek his pardon for what you wrote to him about undutifulness. You did wrong in what you wrote to him, and it was not befitting for you to do so; because your father's intention was only to advise you, and what happened between him and his wife is not something that concerns you. Rather, it is upon you to intervene with good and kind words.
So the result is: it is upon you to ask your father's forgiveness, and to ask him to pardon you, and to repent to Allah for what you wrote to him of undutifulness and bad words. And it is upon your father to accept it, may Allah reward him with good, that he allows it, and to overlook what happened from you due to the intensity of anger and the desire for marriage. And it is upon you to ask his forgiveness, and to seek his pleasure and pardon for what happened from you. And I ask Allah to guide him so that he will marry you off, and to guide you as well, and to help you in memorizing the Noble Qur'an, and in acquiring beneficial knowledge. And Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) says in His great Book:
And whoever fears Allah, He will make for him a way out, and will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever fears Allah, He will make ease for him in his affairs.
وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لا يَحْتَسِبُ وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِ يُسْرًاSo I advise you to fear Allah in all circumstances, and I advise you as well to be keen on the pleasure of your father and dutifulness to him, and obedience to him in what is right, and to be keen on memorizing the Book of Allah. And he – if Allah wills – will take the initiative and will do so and will marry you off, even if you have not completed the memorization of the Qur'an.
And it is upon you to respond to the mother and travel, and to expiate your oath; because the right of the mother is great as well, and her right is greater than the right of the father. So we advise you to travel to her, and to expiate your oath by feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, and to seek your father's forgiveness and to take his feelings into account.
And we ask Allah to guide everyone to what pleases Him, and to rectify your state and your heart, and to guide your father to marry you off, and to help you in memorizing His Book and in fulfilling its right, and in calling to it with insight.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
So: that he leaves marriage in order to devote himself to calling to Allah, do you not advise him?
The Shaykh: No, no, we advise him not to leave marriage, but rather to take the initiative. Marriage does not prevent him, it does not prevent him from knowledge, and knowledge does not prevent him from marriage. So he must get married, and continue his studies, and Allah will help him – if Allah wills – yes.
The presenter: If Allah wills, may Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.