Advice Against Exaggerating in Bridal Gifts
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Question:
A letter reached the program from one of the listening brothers, containing five questions. The listener is Jamal 'Abd al-Ahmad al-Sha'bi from Yemen. He says in his letter:
I ask Your Eminence, the Shaykh, for guidance and advice for fathers who withhold their daughters out of greed for a large bridal gift. Because of this, things have become confused, and people have become obsessed with material wealth, not caring whom they marry. The one who has financial wealth accepts whatever the father imposes as a bridal gift and exorbitant costs, while the poor man has become unable to marry, and no one pays attention to him; rather, they look at him with contempt. What is your opinion, Your Eminence? And what is your guidance?
May Allah bless you.
Answer:
It is obligatory for the guardians, whether they are fathers, brothers, uncles, or others, that they fear Allah , and that they fear Allah regarding the women under their guardianship, and that they strive to marry them to suitable men, even if the bridal gifts are small, and that they do not overburden themselves in this matter, neither in the bridal gift nor in the wedding feast.
It is obligatory to seek out suitable, good, and righteous men, even if they are poor, provided they can afford the bridal gift and can provide financial maintenance for their wives.
And in the hadith, it is reported from him (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said:Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1084Da'if (Darussalam).
So the believer seeks out a righteous husband for his daughter, his sister, his niece, and the like. Money is not his concern; his concern is the righteous man, even if the bridal gift is small, even if the costs are small, and even if the wedding feast is small. This is what is obligatory for the guardians. It is not permissible for them to hold back women in order to seek a large amount of money. This is a great error and a great evil. They may marry a woman to someone who is not suitable for the sake of money, and reject a suitable man because of the smallness of the money. This is an abomination and a betrayal of the trust, for the women under guardianship are a trust with the guardians.
So it is obligatory for the guardians to fear Allah regarding the trust, and to seek for the trust a righteous, good man. If only deficient men are found, they should choose the best one, the best and the least evil, so that the daughters and sisters are not left unmarried. This is what is obligatory for everyone, along with fearing Allah in this matter, being cautious of wronging women, and striving to marry them to those who propose from among the suitable men, even if the money is little and the costs are few. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
A letter reached the program from one of the listening brothers, containing five questions. The listener is Jamal 'Abd al-Ahmad al-Sha'bi from Yemen. He says in his letter:
I ask Your Eminence, the Shaykh, for guidance and advice for fathers who withhold their daughters out of greed for a large bridal gift. Because of this, things have become confused, and people have become obsessed with material wealth, not caring whom they marry. The one who has financial wealth accepts whatever the father imposes as a bridal gift and exorbitant costs, while the poor man has become unable to marry, and no one pays attention to him; rather, they look at him with contempt. What is your opinion, Your Eminence? And what is your guidance?
May Allah bless you.
Answer:
It is obligatory for the guardians, whether they are fathers, brothers, uncles, or others, that they fear Allah , and that they fear Allah regarding the women under their guardianship, and that they strive to marry them to suitable men, even if the bridal gifts are small, and that they do not overburden themselves in this matter, neither in the bridal gift nor in the wedding feast.
It is obligatory to seek out suitable, good, and righteous men, even if they are poor, provided they can afford the bridal gift and can provide financial maintenance for their wives.
And in the hadith, it is reported from him (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said:
When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad).
إذا خطب إليكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوه، إلا تفعلوه تكن فتنة في الأرض، وفساد عريضSo the believer seeks out a righteous husband for his daughter, his sister, his niece, and the like. Money is not his concern; his concern is the righteous man, even if the bridal gift is small, even if the costs are small, and even if the wedding feast is small. This is what is obligatory for the guardians. It is not permissible for them to hold back women in order to seek a large amount of money. This is a great error and a great evil. They may marry a woman to someone who is not suitable for the sake of money, and reject a suitable man because of the smallness of the money. This is an abomination and a betrayal of the trust, for the women under guardianship are a trust with the guardians.
So it is obligatory for the guardians to fear Allah regarding the trust, and to seek for the trust a righteous, good man. If only deficient men are found, they should choose the best one, the best and the least evil, so that the daughters and sisters are not left unmarried. This is what is obligatory for everyone, along with fearing Allah in this matter, being cautious of wronging women, and striving to marry them to those who propose from among the suitable men, even if the money is little and the costs are few. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.