A woman who is the second wife of a man, and he divides the time between them, giving each one a day, but every day after Fajr he sleeps with the first wife on days off and Fridays
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The questioner : This questioner says, "May the Shaykh be respected, she mentions that she is a woman married to a man who is married, and she says that she is the second wife and that he divides the time between us, giving each one a day, but he always goes and sleeps with the first wife after Fajr prayer on days off and Fridays, and even before going to work, whether that is her day or mine. He says that justice lies in the overnight stay and financial maintenance. Her question is: Is his sleeping with the first wife during the day on my day considered part of the overnight stay and my right, or is the overnight stay limited to sleeping at night, and during the day he may sleep anywhere? As for financial maintenance, he does not set a specific budget for us and says, 'Ask for what you need and I will bring it, if Allah wills.' Is this considered justice? We ask the Shaykh for an answer."
The Shaykh : Yes. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saidSunan Abi Dawud 2133Sahih (Al-Albani) This indicates that inclining toward one of the two wives is among the major sins, because there is no threat except for a major sin. Accordingly, the man must fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic) in his treatment of his wives and be just between them in everything he possesses, meaning with the justice he is capable of. As for what he does not possess, such as the inclination of the heart toward one of them or loving her more than the other, and the like of that, he has no power over it. And to this points the saying of Allah the Exalted: [An-Nisa 4:129]
As for what was mentioned in the question about his going to the first wife and sleeping with her during the day while not doing so with the other, this is an inclination that he can correct and make just, so it is not permissible for him to incline toward one of them in this way. However, the other woman should be lenient with her husband, because her leniency with him is more likely to lead to his love for her, indeed to the strengthening of his love for her. And the more a woman is lenient, patient, and seeks reward, and does not quarrel with her husband, the more lasting her stay with him will be and the greater her reward with Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He).
So I advise this woman to be patient with the harshness or inclination that comes from her husband and to seek reward for it. She is rewarded for her patience with it, and her patience is something by which Allah expiates her sins.
We have two perspectives. The first perspective is regarding the husband; we tell him that it is obligatory for you to be just between your two wives in everything you possess, meaning with all the justice you are able to do.
The second perspective is regarding the wife who feels that her rights are being violated; I advise her with patience and seeking reward, and I say that this is something by which she attains reward with Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and the outcome is for the righteous. Not quarreling with the husband is more lasting for his love, and perhaps Allah will soften his heart so that he is just between the two wives in what he is obligated to be just in. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : Yes. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said
When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
من كانت له امرأتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقه مائلAnd you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging
وَلَن تَستَطيعوا أَن تَعدِلوا بَينَ النِّساءِ وَلَو حَرَصتُم فَلا تَميلوا كُلَّ المَيلِ فَتَذَروها كَالمُعَلَّقَةِAs for what was mentioned in the question about his going to the first wife and sleeping with her during the day while not doing so with the other, this is an inclination that he can correct and make just, so it is not permissible for him to incline toward one of them in this way. However, the other woman should be lenient with her husband, because her leniency with him is more likely to lead to his love for her, indeed to the strengthening of his love for her. And the more a woman is lenient, patient, and seeks reward, and does not quarrel with her husband, the more lasting her stay with him will be and the greater her reward with Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He).
So I advise this woman to be patient with the harshness or inclination that comes from her husband and to seek reward for it. She is rewarded for her patience with it, and her patience is something by which Allah expiates her sins.
We have two perspectives. The first perspective is regarding the husband; we tell him that it is obligatory for you to be just between your two wives in everything you possess, meaning with all the justice you are able to do.
The second perspective is regarding the wife who feels that her rights are being violated; I advise her with patience and seeking reward, and I say that this is something by which she attains reward with Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and the outcome is for the righteous. Not quarreling with the husband is more lasting for his love, and perhaps Allah will soften his heart so that he is just between the two wives in what he is obligated to be just in. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.