Some fathers and mothers who prevent their daughters from marrying on the grounds that they are unable to bear the burdens of life and that they are young: what is your guidance?
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The questioner : Shaykh Muhammad, some fathers and mothers prevent their daughters from marrying and say that they are unable to bear the burdens of life and that they are young. What is your guidance for them, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh : If they are young, that is correct, meaning, for example, she is ten years old. But some men prevent their daughters from marrying when they are twenty or twenty-five years old, and a suitable man proposes to them in terms of his religion, character, and wealth, yet he refuses.
The scholars said that if this man repeats the prevention three times, he becomes an open sinner. An open sinner’s guardianship is invalid, and according to some scholars, he is not valid to lead people in prayer, and his testimony is not accepted because he is an open sinner.
As for if he prevents her only once, his guardianship is dropped, meaning we turn to another guardian who comes after him to marry her, whether the father is pleased or not.
An example of this: a man has a daughter who is twenty years old, and a suitable man proposes to her in terms of his religion, character, wealth, and all his circumstances, but he refuses to marry her off. She says, “Marry me off, O my father,” and he says, “No.” We say that he remains, and her brother marries her off. If her brother refuses to marry her off out of fear of her father, her paternal uncle marries her off. If her paternal uncle refuses to marry her off out of fear of his brother, the son of the paternal uncle marries her off. If all the relatives refuse to marry her off, the judge marries her off, and it is necessary. Women should not remain unmarried because of the stubbornness of these guardians who do not fear Allah and do not revere Allah.
One whom I trust told me that a man was preventing his daughters from marriage. One of them became ill, either from oppression or from a disease whose cause Allah knows best. When she was on the verge of death and the women were with her, she said, “Convey my greetings to my father and tell him that I am his opponent on the Day of Resurrection. He deprived me of my youth and deprived me of children, so I am his opponent on the Day of Resurrection.”
By Allah, it is a great word, great. And every person’s end is this if he prevents his daughter from marrying a man who is suitable in his wealth, character, and religion, and she wants it, then he is sinful.
And as I said, the scholars say that if his prevention is repeated three times from three suitable proposals, he becomes an open sinner who has no guardianship, and his testimony is not accepted, and he does not lead the Muslims in congregation, as some scholars say. So the matter is serious. Then, who knows? Perhaps this woman, the daughter, will be driven by Satan one day and satisfy her desire in a way that Allah has not made lawful. One does not know. Yes.
The Shaykh : If they are young, that is correct, meaning, for example, she is ten years old. But some men prevent their daughters from marrying when they are twenty or twenty-five years old, and a suitable man proposes to them in terms of his religion, character, and wealth, yet he refuses.
The scholars said that if this man repeats the prevention three times, he becomes an open sinner. An open sinner’s guardianship is invalid, and according to some scholars, he is not valid to lead people in prayer, and his testimony is not accepted because he is an open sinner.
As for if he prevents her only once, his guardianship is dropped, meaning we turn to another guardian who comes after him to marry her, whether the father is pleased or not.
An example of this: a man has a daughter who is twenty years old, and a suitable man proposes to her in terms of his religion, character, wealth, and all his circumstances, but he refuses to marry her off. She says, “Marry me off, O my father,” and he says, “No.” We say that he remains, and her brother marries her off. If her brother refuses to marry her off out of fear of her father, her paternal uncle marries her off. If her paternal uncle refuses to marry her off out of fear of his brother, the son of the paternal uncle marries her off. If all the relatives refuse to marry her off, the judge marries her off, and it is necessary. Women should not remain unmarried because of the stubbornness of these guardians who do not fear Allah and do not revere Allah.
One whom I trust told me that a man was preventing his daughters from marriage. One of them became ill, either from oppression or from a disease whose cause Allah knows best. When she was on the verge of death and the women were with her, she said, “Convey my greetings to my father and tell him that I am his opponent on the Day of Resurrection. He deprived me of my youth and deprived me of children, so I am his opponent on the Day of Resurrection.”
By Allah, it is a great word, great. And every person’s end is this if he prevents his daughter from marrying a man who is suitable in his wealth, character, and religion, and she wants it, then he is sinful.
And as I said, the scholars say that if his prevention is repeated three times from three suitable proposals, he becomes an open sinner who has no guardianship, and his testimony is not accepted, and he does not lead the Muslims in congregation, as some scholars say. So the matter is serious. Then, who knows? Perhaps this woman, the daughter, will be driven by Satan one day and satisfy her desire in a way that Allah has not made lawful. One does not know. Yes.