Kindness to one's mother, dutifulness to her, and being gentle with her in speech and good words
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Fatwa number ( 13165 )
Q: My father passed away (may Allah have mercy on him) a long time ago, and he left behind seven daughters, my mother, and myself. I got married and was blessed with two daughters from my wife. Several problems arose, and my mother was the cause. Why? My mother was jealous of her. At that time, we did not have bathrooms, and we would use a bucket of water to perform wudu. She would take it and put it under her bed so that I would not go to my wife, and she would prevent me from seeing her. I could not call my wife to relieve myself except by sneaking out at night or during the day. She would take three of my sisters and place them at the door of the room so that I would not enter my wife's room to sleep with her. She did things that please neither Allah nor His Messenger. She said to me: "Divorce her," and I divorced her because of the problems that occurred every moment from her. I also request information on the following:
1 - When my maternal uncles, my wife's relatives, come to our house, she gets up and sits and does not rest until they leave our place. She talks about the bed, and I am not able to look at my aunt, my wife's mother, nor am I able to greet her, nor am I able to invite them, nor am I able to go to their place, nor am I able to do anything with them. 2 - She is also extravagant in everything. For example: with the Tide soap, she takes a whole box and uses it up. For example: her clothes, she has a new suit every day. She also burns her clothes on the heater if it is on. For example: paint or shampoo or other things, she takes them and they do not last with her more than a day or two at most. Sometimes I get angry and speak ill of her. Is there any obligation on me regarding her or not? 3 - I said: "You are the one who will choose a second wife for me so that problems do not happen again," and she agreed. She married me to my maternal uncle's daughter, the brother of my mother. She returned to her old habit, and the problems returned to their first state. 4 - She married off my sisters, and only one of them remained with me. 5 - I stood up and gave her everything she asked for, without withholding anything from her. I take from my wife to give to her. I spoke to some friends and relatives, saying if she wants to get married, there is no problem, and she also categorically refused marriage. Problems every minute. I am not able to joke with my wife, nor am I able to laugh
with her, nor am I able to say anything to her. If I quarrel with my wife or upset her, she rejoices with great joy. And if I joke a second time, she gets angry. She goes to my sisters to sow discord between me and them, and says: "Your brother said such and such, and his wife said such and such." This talk, by the great Allah, is not true; it is a lie, falsehood, and slander. She also pretends to be ill, and every day I take her to the hospital. Frankly, I am tired of her, and my sisters are no good, and some of them believe her. My wife is with me, and she has five daughters and a son from me, and she says: "Divorce her, I do not want her." I am confused about my situation. Also, she does not want the neighbors, she talks about them and drives them away, and she has separated us from them and from my sisters. What should I do in my situation?
A: First: It is obligatory for you to be kind to your mother, be dutiful to her, and be gentle with her in speech and good words, and to be cautious of mistreating her. Second: If your wife is satisfactory in her religion and character, then it is not obligatory for you to divorce her. Rather, it is obligatory for you to be wise in your social life, and there is no harm in you living in a separate residence, such as an apartment or a neighboring house, or the like.
And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Q: My father passed away (may Allah have mercy on him) a long time ago, and he left behind seven daughters, my mother, and myself. I got married and was blessed with two daughters from my wife. Several problems arose, and my mother was the cause. Why? My mother was jealous of her. At that time, we did not have bathrooms, and we would use a bucket of water to perform wudu. She would take it and put it under her bed so that I would not go to my wife, and she would prevent me from seeing her. I could not call my wife to relieve myself except by sneaking out at night or during the day. She would take three of my sisters and place them at the door of the room so that I would not enter my wife's room to sleep with her. She did things that please neither Allah nor His Messenger. She said to me: "Divorce her," and I divorced her because of the problems that occurred every moment from her. I also request information on the following:
1 - When my maternal uncles, my wife's relatives, come to our house, she gets up and sits and does not rest until they leave our place. She talks about the bed, and I am not able to look at my aunt, my wife's mother, nor am I able to greet her, nor am I able to invite them, nor am I able to go to their place, nor am I able to do anything with them. 2 - She is also extravagant in everything. For example: with the Tide soap, she takes a whole box and uses it up. For example: her clothes, she has a new suit every day. She also burns her clothes on the heater if it is on. For example: paint or shampoo or other things, she takes them and they do not last with her more than a day or two at most. Sometimes I get angry and speak ill of her. Is there any obligation on me regarding her or not? 3 - I said: "You are the one who will choose a second wife for me so that problems do not happen again," and she agreed. She married me to my maternal uncle's daughter, the brother of my mother. She returned to her old habit, and the problems returned to their first state. 4 - She married off my sisters, and only one of them remained with me. 5 - I stood up and gave her everything she asked for, without withholding anything from her. I take from my wife to give to her. I spoke to some friends and relatives, saying if she wants to get married, there is no problem, and she also categorically refused marriage. Problems every minute. I am not able to joke with my wife, nor am I able to laugh
with her, nor am I able to say anything to her. If I quarrel with my wife or upset her, she rejoices with great joy. And if I joke a second time, she gets angry. She goes to my sisters to sow discord between me and them, and says: "Your brother said such and such, and his wife said such and such." This talk, by the great Allah, is not true; it is a lie, falsehood, and slander. She also pretends to be ill, and every day I take her to the hospital. Frankly, I am tired of her, and my sisters are no good, and some of them believe her. My wife is with me, and she has five daughters and a son from me, and she says: "Divorce her, I do not want her." I am confused about my situation. Also, she does not want the neighbors, she talks about them and drives them away, and she has separated us from them and from my sisters. What should I do in my situation?
A: First: It is obligatory for you to be kind to your mother, be dutiful to her, and be gentle with her in speech and good words, and to be cautious of mistreating her. Second: If your wife is satisfactory in her religion and character, then it is not obligatory for you to divorce her. Rather, it is obligatory for you to be wise in your social life, and there is no harm in you living in a separate residence, such as an apartment or a neighboring house, or the like.
And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.