Protection from Regret and the Obligation to Obey the Husband
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The fourth question of Fatwa No. ( 6574 ):
Q4: What is the protection that will shield me from regret if I see my classmates graduating? Let it be known to your Eminence that everyone around me—my father, my mother, my brothers, and my husband—has left the matter to me, as they fear I will leave them with the consequences of things. Also, I have been suffering from a (mental illness), which makes my temperament changeable, so I fear that a day may come when I can no longer bear married life and will flee from the home. As for my marriage, what is the Islamic treatment I must have toward my husband and my home, and what is lawful and forbidden in the rights of the spouses? Matters have become confused for many people, who permit this and forbid that without knowledge. My brothers are of a certain level of religion and are committed, but I am embarrassed to ask them about any of these matters, and I
am unable to make a definite decision regarding my studies. I hope your Eminence will help me with an answer that protects me from the evil of error and disobedience, and may Allah reward you with all good, if Allah wills. I also hope that you will send me some books on treating mental illness in the Islamic way, or on the life of the Islamic family and how to contribute and participate in building an Islamic society, and how I can be consistent in prayer, maintain fasting, and protect myself at all times from anything that affects me. I am modest and of a certain level of religion, praise be to Allah. My request of your Eminence is to help me, and may your Eminence have all good with Allah, if Allah wills?
A4: First: It is obligatory for the Muslim, if he chooses a matter in which he perceives good, and the outcome turns out contrary to what he perceived, not to despair or regret what he has missed. Rather, he should praise Allah for what has happened to him and refer matters to Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), Who manages them with wisdom and benefit that He knows, revealing them at times and concealing them at other times as a trial and test. Allah the Exalted said:
but give good tidings to the patient, (156) Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return." (157) Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.
وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ (155) الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُمْ مُصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ (156) أُولَئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِنْ رَبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ وَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَand what is right, and to do for him what women of your standing do for their husbands. Allah the Exalted said:
And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority].
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌAnd if there should come to you guidance from Me - then whoever follows My guidance will neither go astray [in the world] nor suffer [in the Hereafter]. (124) And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind." (125) He will say, "My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?" (126) [Allah] will say, "Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten." (127) And thus do We recompense he who transgressed and did not believe in the signs of his Lord. And the punishment of the Hereafter is more severe and more enduring.
فَإِمَّا يَأْتِيَنَّكُمْ مِنِّي هُدًى فَمَنِ اتَّبَعَ هُدَايَ فَلا يَضِلُّ وَلاَ يَشْقَى (123) وَمَنْ أَعْرَضَ عَنْ ذِكْرِي فَإِنَّ لَهُ مَعِيشَةً ضَنْكًا وَنَحْشُرُهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ أَعْمَى (124) قَالَ رَبِّ لِمَ حَشَرْتَنِي أَعْمَى وَقَدْ كُنْتُ بَصِيرًا (125) قَالَ كَذَلِكَ أَتَتْكَ آيَاتُنَا فَنَسِيتَهَا وَكَذَلِكَ الْيَوْمَ تُنْسَى (126) وَكَذَلِكَ نَجْزِي مَنْ أَسْرَفَ وَلَمْ يُؤْمِنْ بِآيَاتِ رَبِّهِ وَلَعَذَابُ الآخِرَةِ أَشَدُّ وَأَبْقَىIndeed, this Qur'an guides to that which is most suitable
إِنَّ هَذَا الْقُرْآنَ يَهْدِي لِلَّتِي هِيَ أَقْوَمُ[This is] a blessed Book which We have revealed to you, [O Muhammad], that they might reflect upon its verses and that those of understanding would be reminded.
كِتَابٌ أَنْـزَلْنَاهُ إِلَيْكَ مُبَارَكٌ لِيَدَّبَّرُوا آيَاتِهِ وَلِيَتَذَكَّرَ أُولُو الأَلْبَابِHe may expand your chest for what is most beloved to Him, and then you should act according to what brings your chest relief, whether it is studying or not. Fifth: We advise you, after giving priority to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), to read the following books: [Kashf Talbis Iblis] by the scholar Ibn al-Jawzi , the book [Hasan al-Aswa fi Ahkam al-Niswa] by the scholar Sa'd ibn Hasan , the book [Nida' ila al-Jins al-Latif] by the scholar Sayyid Muhammad Rashid Rida , and the book [al-Jawab al-Kafi li Man Sala 'an al-Dawa' al-Shafi] by the scholar Ibn al-Qayyim and books similar to these; for they are of great benefit, especially for people like you. And success is from Allah. And may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.