The Shaykh's advice on the occasion of one of the attendees' marriage, and counsel for the youth, guardians, and the husband.

The Shaykh : There are matters concerning marriage.
The student : If you would allow me, young men, please listen.

The Shaykh : Whether the listeners are married or single, we will speak in brief words, if Allah wills (Blessed and Exalted is He), about marriage. These words will address both the married and the unmarried. I begin with the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): , ; that is, marriage. . I know that we live in a society surrounded by many circumstances that contradict the Shari'ah and do not help the Muslim youth to realize many of the rulings of the Shari'ah, including this ruling, which is marriage. If it is not feasible for the Muslim youth to marry for one reason or another, he must follow the command of the Prophet (peace be upon him): . "Wijaj" is a euphemism for protecting this single man from falling into fornication. We know, and we are often asked, that many young men have exchanged that which is lower for that which is better. They have exchanged that which is lower, which is the secret habit, for that which is better, which is the fasting you were commanded in the previous hadith. They engage in the secret habit, claiming it is so that their eyes do not wander to the preliminaries of the major fornication. They have forgotten, or overlooked, and the sweetest of them is bitter, that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) described the treatment for these young men in his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): . Do not be deceived by what you may read in some books, written recently or in the past, that it is permissible to engage in the secret habit for one who fears fornication for himself. I say this is not permissible. One should not adopt this opinion—may Allah help you and give you patience with me. Do not be misled by what you may read about some of the Salaf or some of the Khalaf that it is permissible to masturbate if one fears falling into fornication. I say: this general statement contradicts his saying (peace be upon him): . This fatwa attributed to some of them, permitting masturbation for one who fears fitnah for himself, if one must speak of it, applies only to one who has engaged in the Prophetic treatment. But if he turns away from it to masturbation, then what I began my speech with, the saying of Allah the Exalted, is true of him: those are the ones who exchanged that which is lower for that which is better. Allah the Exalted said regarding the Jews: . Therefore, it is not befitting for a Muslim to fall into what the Jews fell into before. So every Muslim youth for whom the means of marriage are not available should fast the fasting he is able to perform, and the best of it, as you know, is the fasting of Dawud (peace be upon him): . If we imagine—and I do not say if we imagine—a young man who engaged in this Prophetic treatment but is still overcome by lust and passion, and he fears for himself that he will fall into fornication, and he engages in the secret habit, if we imagine this, we say it is permissible for him to engage in the secret habit. But in my opinion, this is merely imagination and a hypothesis. Then we say regarding the one who wants to marry: he must place before his eyes the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): , and in the other narration: . A prayer of poverty upon the one who does not follow the advice of the Messenger (peace be upon him). He does not seek a woman of faith, but seeks one of beauty, or wealth, or lineage, or a combination of these three, and does not ask about faith. . Then we advise every guardian who has a daughter with the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): . Then we advise the one whom Allah has blessed with this advice, and with this advice I conclude my words related to the occasion of this celebration, which is for the blessing of our brother who has married. This word is the last. We advise the one for whom Allah has facilitated marriage to treat his wife with Islamic treatment, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: , .
It is befitting for the married man, if he is young and thus his wife will be young, to be gentle with her and not treat her as one would treat an older wife. Rather, he should remember on this occasion the story of the Lady Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) when the Ethiopians came to play with spears in the mosque of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stood for Aisha so she could look from behind him, and she placed her chin on the shoulder of the Messenger while looking at the play of the Ethiopians. He (peace be upon him) said to her: . She said: No. . She said: No. She said: Until I was the one who got tired. She said: —and here is the point—, . Therefore, the husband should be forbearing, wise, and gentle with his wife. Especially since the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) advised the one who was chanting for the camels of the wives of the Prophet, and they were on the saddles and on the camels: . The Messenger (peace be upon him) referred to women as "glass vessels," meaning as they are called today in the language of the present age as "the fair sex," but the Messenger named them "glass vessels," which is more precise in expression and more inciting to care for gentleness with what is called the fair sex.
This is a reminder, and the reminder benefits the believers, and perhaps this amount is sufficient.

The questioner : May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.

The Shaykh : And praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

The questioner: May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.

The Shaykh : And beware of questions; they do not end. May Allah bless you. If we sat with you night and day, they would not end.

The questioner : If Allah wills, we will have sessions...

The questioner : Not guaranteed.

The Shaykh : It is not permissible, it is not permissible at all. Now, peace be upon you, welcome.