Is refusing to kiss the hands of one's parents when they ask for it and love it considered undutifulness to parents?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The student : If we were to treat our parents by not kissing their hands... and we did not do so, they would see rudeness from us, and this is considered a type of undutifulness to parents.
The Shaykh : No, that is not the case... The answer is: No, that is not the case. So what is undutifulness to parents?
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : ... The question is...
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : It is rudeness... May Allah forgive you in this world and the Hereafter. Ah, what is undutifulness to parents?
The questioner : As Allah said...
The Shaykh : Do not guess, do not guess. What am I asking you? What did Allah say? I am asking you about undutifulness to parents, what is it? The undutifulness about which the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih al-Bukhari 6919 and so on. What is this undutifulness?
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : What is it? Do not give an answer in the form of a question, but give an answer according to what you know, or say, "I do not know; half of knowledge is not knowing."
The questioner : I do not know.
The Shaykh : According to the scholars, undutifulness to parents has two definitions: The first is: absolutely disobeying one's parents in what they order, provided that the order does not involve disobedience to the Shari'ah. Is this clear?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Good, keep that in mind. The second opinion, or the second statement, which is the most correct in our view, is: disobeying one's parents in what they order, which is what Allah has ordered their child to do. Is this clear?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : In the first case, there is disobedience, or perhaps I have expressed it poorly. According to the first opinion, if a father orders his son to do something that is permissible (mubah) in the Shari'ah, it is obligatory for the son to obey his father. If he does not obey, he commits a sin and is sinful, but he is not an undutiful son. This is different from the second opinion. Do you see the difference?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And if you apply the two opinions to what we were discussing, it becomes clear that the son's disobedience in not submitting to the father's desire to kiss his hand involves neither undutifulness to parents nor sin. As for the fact that it is not undutifulness in the sense that we preferred, that is clear.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : As for the weaker meaning, which is the first opinion, they do not order the son to do something that is permissible in the Shari'ah... we are in the process of explaining this. Is kissing the hand of the father like kissing the hand of a scholar, or not? If we assume it is like kissing the hand of a scholar, it would be obedience and worship, and a recommended (mustahabb) act. In that case, if the analogy of the mother to the scholar is valid, as you intended, it is obligatory for the son... it is not just permissible, but it is recommended (mustahabb) because of the respect shown to the scholar, and to whoever is analogized to the scholar by assumption. However, the issue is not settled by this analogy, and it is said that this is one of the newly invented matters, because the righteous Salaf did not know of respecting parents by kissing their hands... So if a father orders one of his children to do something that is not prescribed, and the child disobeys him, he does not become a sinner, let alone an undutiful son. And in this, the matter about which you seek a ruling is settled.
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : Ah, early.
The Shaykh : No, that is not the case... The answer is: No, that is not the case. So what is undutifulness to parents?
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : ... The question is...
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : It is rudeness... May Allah forgive you in this world and the Hereafter. Ah, what is undutifulness to parents?
The questioner : As Allah said...
The Shaykh : Do not guess, do not guess. What am I asking you? What did Allah say? I am asking you about undutifulness to parents, what is it? The undutifulness about which the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
The biggest of the great sins are: To join others in worship with Allah, to be undutiful to one's parents
أكبر الكبائر الإشراك بالله ، وعقوق الوالدينThe questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : What is it? Do not give an answer in the form of a question, but give an answer according to what you know, or say, "I do not know; half of knowledge is not knowing."
The questioner : I do not know.
The Shaykh : According to the scholars, undutifulness to parents has two definitions: The first is: absolutely disobeying one's parents in what they order, provided that the order does not involve disobedience to the Shari'ah. Is this clear?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Good, keep that in mind. The second opinion, or the second statement, which is the most correct in our view, is: disobeying one's parents in what they order, which is what Allah has ordered their child to do. Is this clear?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : In the first case, there is disobedience, or perhaps I have expressed it poorly. According to the first opinion, if a father orders his son to do something that is permissible (mubah) in the Shari'ah, it is obligatory for the son to obey his father. If he does not obey, he commits a sin and is sinful, but he is not an undutiful son. This is different from the second opinion. Do you see the difference?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And if you apply the two opinions to what we were discussing, it becomes clear that the son's disobedience in not submitting to the father's desire to kiss his hand involves neither undutifulness to parents nor sin. As for the fact that it is not undutifulness in the sense that we preferred, that is clear.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : As for the weaker meaning, which is the first opinion, they do not order the son to do something that is permissible in the Shari'ah... we are in the process of explaining this. Is kissing the hand of the father like kissing the hand of a scholar, or not? If we assume it is like kissing the hand of a scholar, it would be obedience and worship, and a recommended (mustahabb) act. In that case, if the analogy of the mother to the scholar is valid, as you intended, it is obligatory for the son... it is not just permissible, but it is recommended (mustahabb) because of the respect shown to the scholar, and to whoever is analogized to the scholar by assumption. However, the issue is not settled by this analogy, and it is said that this is one of the newly invented matters, because the righteous Salaf did not know of respecting parents by kissing their hands... So if a father orders one of his children to do something that is not prescribed, and the child disobeys him, he does not become a sinner, let alone an undutiful son. And in this, the matter about which you seek a ruling is settled.
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : Ah, early.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.