Is not kissing the hands of one's parents considered a type of undutifulness to parents?
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The questioner: All right, Shaykh, if we meet our parents without kissing their hands, without kissing their hands, and without greeting them in the morning, they see coldness from us. Is this considered a type of undutifulness to parents, or not?
The Shaykh : It is not so.
The questioner : Why?
The Shaykh: If you knew what undutifulness to parents is, the answer would be: No. So what is undutifulness to parents?
The questioner: Frowning at their faces is considered part of it.
The Shaykh: May Allah forgive you. You are prone to being sidetracked, Jamal. Do you know what the question was?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : And what is it?
The questioner: You say, "Do you know what undutifulness to parents is?"
The Shaykh: Did you answer?
The questioner: I answered.
The Shaykh: Strange!! Did he answer? Glory be to Allah!! It is easy, meaning you have reached this state?! May Allah forgive you in this world and the Hereafter.
The questioner: Amen.
The Shaykh: Ah, what is undutifulness to parents?
The questioner: As Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) said.
The Shaykh: Do not quote, do not quote. I am not asking you what Allah said; I am asking you about undutifulness to parents. What is it?! The undutifulness to parents about which the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih al-Bukhari 6919 to the end of the hadith. What is this undutifulness to parents?
The questioner: Disobeying them.
The Shaykh: What is it? Do not give a questioning answer, but give an answer according to what you know, or say:
The questioner : I do not know.
The Shaykh: "Half of knowledge is saying 'I do not know.'"
The questioner : I do not know.
The Shaykh: So, undutifulness to parents, according to the scholars, has two interpretations: The first is the absolute disobedience of the parents in what they order, provided that the order does not involve disobedience to the Shari'ah. Is this clear?!
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: All right, keep that in mind. The second command, or the second opinion: -which is the most correct in our view- is disobeying the parents in what they order from what Allah and His Messenger have ordered. Is this clear?!
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: In the first case: there is disobedience, or perhaps I have gone too far in my expression. According to the first opinion: if the father orders his son to do something that is permissible in the Shari'ah, it is obligatory for the son to obey the father. If he does not obey, he commits a sin and is sinful, but he is not an undutiful son. This is unlike the second opinion. Is the difference clear to you?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: Mm, and if you apply the two opinions to what we were discussing, it becomes clear to you that the son's disobedience in not submitting to the father's desire to kiss the hand does not involve either undutifulness to parents or sin. As for the fact that there is no undutifulness to parents in the meaning we preferred, that is clear.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: As for the meaning of the weaker opinion, which is the first opinion: they do not order the son to do something that is permissible in the Shari'ah, because we were in the process of explaining whether kissing the hand of the father is like kissing the hand of a scholar or not?! So, if we assume that it is like kissing the hand of a scholar, it would be obedience and worship, and a recommended command. In that case, if it is valid to include the mother as you wanted to include her with the scholar, it is obligatory for the son at that time to obey him, because he is only ordering what is not only permissible, but also recommended, due to the respect for the scholar and for the one who is hypothetically included with the scholar. However, if the issue is not accepted with this inclusion, and it is said that this is from the newly invented matters, because the righteous Salaf did not know of respecting parents by kissing the hand on any occasion, then if the father orders one of his sons to do something that is not prescribed, and he disobeys him, he does not become a sinner, let alone an undutiful son. And with this we say: the matter is settled regarding which you seek clarification.
The questioner: And we say: We ask your permission.
The Shaykh : Ah, early.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : It is not so.
The questioner : Why?
The Shaykh: If you knew what undutifulness to parents is, the answer would be: No. So what is undutifulness to parents?
The questioner: Frowning at their faces is considered part of it.
The Shaykh: May Allah forgive you. You are prone to being sidetracked, Jamal. Do you know what the question was?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : And what is it?
The questioner: You say, "Do you know what undutifulness to parents is?"
The Shaykh: Did you answer?
The questioner: I answered.
The Shaykh: Strange!! Did he answer? Glory be to Allah!! It is easy, meaning you have reached this state?! May Allah forgive you in this world and the Hereafter.
The questioner: Amen.
The Shaykh: Ah, what is undutifulness to parents?
The questioner: As Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) said.
The Shaykh: Do not quote, do not quote. I am not asking you what Allah said; I am asking you about undutifulness to parents. What is it?! The undutifulness to parents about which the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
The biggest of the great sins are: To join others in worship with Allah, to be undutiful to one's parents
أكبر الكبائر الإشراك بالله ، وعقوق الوالدينThe questioner: Disobeying them.
The Shaykh: What is it? Do not give a questioning answer, but give an answer according to what you know, or say:
The questioner : I do not know.
The Shaykh: "Half of knowledge is saying 'I do not know.'"
The questioner : I do not know.
The Shaykh: So, undutifulness to parents, according to the scholars, has two interpretations: The first is the absolute disobedience of the parents in what they order, provided that the order does not involve disobedience to the Shari'ah. Is this clear?!
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: All right, keep that in mind. The second command, or the second opinion: -which is the most correct in our view- is disobeying the parents in what they order from what Allah and His Messenger have ordered. Is this clear?!
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: In the first case: there is disobedience, or perhaps I have gone too far in my expression. According to the first opinion: if the father orders his son to do something that is permissible in the Shari'ah, it is obligatory for the son to obey the father. If he does not obey, he commits a sin and is sinful, but he is not an undutiful son. This is unlike the second opinion. Is the difference clear to you?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: Mm, and if you apply the two opinions to what we were discussing, it becomes clear to you that the son's disobedience in not submitting to the father's desire to kiss the hand does not involve either undutifulness to parents or sin. As for the fact that there is no undutifulness to parents in the meaning we preferred, that is clear.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: As for the meaning of the weaker opinion, which is the first opinion: they do not order the son to do something that is permissible in the Shari'ah, because we were in the process of explaining whether kissing the hand of the father is like kissing the hand of a scholar or not?! So, if we assume that it is like kissing the hand of a scholar, it would be obedience and worship, and a recommended command. In that case, if it is valid to include the mother as you wanted to include her with the scholar, it is obligatory for the son at that time to obey him, because he is only ordering what is not only permissible, but also recommended, due to the respect for the scholar and for the one who is hypothetically included with the scholar. However, if the issue is not accepted with this inclusion, and it is said that this is from the newly invented matters, because the righteous Salaf did not know of respecting parents by kissing the hand on any occasion, then if the father orders one of his sons to do something that is not prescribed, and he disobeys him, he does not become a sinner, let alone an undutiful son. And with this we say: the matter is settled regarding which you seek clarification.
The questioner: And we say: We ask your permission.
The Shaykh : Ah, early.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.