The Ruling on Undutifulness to Parents
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The Shaykh : And know, my brother, that undutifulness to parents is among the greatest of major sins. Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: Sahih Muslim 88b Look at the beauty of the style and delivery; meaning, he did not just inform them immediately. He said: This is to alert the person so that he focuses his mind and heart, so that his heart is present, and what? And his body is present, not like some people whose body is present but their heart is absent. Good. He said: Sahih al-Bukhari 6273 And this is the greatest of the major sins and the most unjust of injustice: that you make a rival for Allah while He created you. So, undutifulness to parents is among the major sins.
Then know, O son, know, O son, that you will be treated by your children in the same way that you treat your parents. This is the general rule. If you are dutiful to them, your sons and daughters will be dutiful to you. And if the opposite is the case, your sons and daughters will be undutiful to you. For this reason, in our colloquial language, they say: "Dutifulness is a loan". Explain to me the meaning of this phrase. You are, what Allah willed, one of the best people in terms of presence of heart. If your eyes indicate your heart, please. "Dutifulness is a loan".
The student: Dutifulness to parents...
The Shaykh : What? No, no, he says: "Dutifulness to parents is one of the customs of our ancestors." No, yes.
The student: That it is a loan for him, meaning, your dutifulness to your mother is a loan for your action toward your father.
The Shaykh : Yes, exactly. It means that if you are dutiful to your father, it is as if you lent to him, and he will repay you. But this is in the hand of Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and this is correct. Allah the Exalted said:.
Should I not inform you about the gravest of the major sins
ألا أنبئكم بأكبر الكبائرDo you not want me to inform you
ألا أنبئكمShall I inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle!" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah
ألا أنبئكم بأكبر الكبائر ؟ قالوا : بلى يا رسول الله قال : الإشراك باللهAnd undutifulness to parents. He was leaning, so he sat up and said: And false testimony, and false testimony, and false testimony. He kept repeating it until they said: I wish he had stopped.
وعقوق الوالدين وكان متكئا فجلس فقال : ألا وقول الزور ألا وقول الزور ألاوقول الزور فما زال يكررها حتى قالوا : ليته سكتThen know, O son, know, O son, that you will be treated by your children in the same way that you treat your parents. This is the general rule. If you are dutiful to them, your sons and daughters will be dutiful to you. And if the opposite is the case, your sons and daughters will be undutiful to you. For this reason, in our colloquial language, they say: "Dutifulness is a loan". Explain to me the meaning of this phrase. You are, what Allah willed, one of the best people in terms of presence of heart. If your eyes indicate your heart, please. "Dutifulness is a loan".
The student: Dutifulness to parents...
The Shaykh : What? No, no, he says: "Dutifulness to parents is one of the customs of our ancestors." No, yes.
The student: That it is a loan for him, meaning, your dutifulness to your mother is a loan for your action toward your father.
The Shaykh : Yes, exactly. It means that if you are dutiful to your father, it is as if you lent to him, and he will repay you. But this is in the hand of Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and this is correct. Allah the Exalted said: