Some people have adopted certain customs before and after marriage, including what is called the ring, which is worn by both the man and the woman, and the necklace.
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The questioner : A questioner says: O esteemed Shaykh, some people have adopted certain customs before and after marriage. Among them is what is called the ring, which is worn by both the man and the woman. And the necklace: which is gold presented to the woman after the proposal, after the proposal. And gold presented on the morning of the wedding. And gold presented on the morning of the wedding.
Thirdly
The Shaykh : Fourthly
The questioner : Fourthly: The wife’s mother is given a sum of money in exchange for uncovering her face to the husband, to her daughter’s husband, which is called by the common people "al-fattashah". So what is permissible among these, and what is not permissible?
The Shaykh : Okay. These are four things.
First: The ring. The ring is a ring that the man gives to the wife. Some people have the wife wear it when he wants to marry or when he marries. This custom was not known among us before.
And Shaykh Al-Albani (may Allah guide him) mentioned "that it is taken from the Christians. And that the priest has the couple come to him in the church", and he puts a ring on the woman’s ring finger, middle finger, and index finger. I do not know the exact manner. But he says that it is taken from the Christians. So leaving it off is undoubtedly better, because we should not imitate others. Add to that that some people believe in it in a way where they write the wife’s name on the ring he intends to give her, and he writes his name on the ring he intends to give her. And she writes her name on the ring the husband wears. And they believe that as long as the ring is on the husband’s hand with his wife’s name on it, and on the wife’s hand with her husband’s name on it, there will be no separation between them. And this belief is a type of shirk (associating partners with Allah). It is of the type of magic that they claimed makes the woman love her husband and the husband love his wife. So with this belief, it is haram (forbidden). So now the ring is surrounded by two things. The first thing: it is taken from whom? From the Christians. And the second thing: if the husband believes that it is the cause binding him to his wife, it becomes a type of what? Of shirk. For this reason, we see that leaving it off is better.
As for the necklace: The necklace, by Allah, I do not know if the meaning of necklace is that they believe it links the two spouses? Or is it an expression of the wife’s acceptance of the husband and the husband’s acceptance of the wife? It appears that it is this. And they used to call it in our previous era: "qadab al-riqabah, or qadabah al-riqabah". And qadab means what? Holding. When a man proposed to a woman, he sent her jewelry called "qadabah al-qadab". And the later generations call it a necklace. I do not think there is any harm in it and that there is no blame in it. But the prohibited thing is that I have heard in some countries that the man brings the necklace with the pendant, and he puts it on the wife, and he puts it on the woman who is engaged. And this is haram. The engaged woman with her fiancé is like a woman in the market; it is not permissible for him to take any pleasure from her. And this leads us to an issue, which is that some suitors, when they propose to a woman, start talking to her on the phone a lot, until it reached me that some of them spend the whole night—winter nights are not clear nights—talking to her. Yes? We have heard this. And this is haram. Is the woman now his wife or not his wife? Not his wife. How does he talk to her? And is it reasonable that he talks to her?
Thirdly
The Shaykh : Fourthly
The questioner : Fourthly: The wife’s mother is given a sum of money in exchange for uncovering her face to the husband, to her daughter’s husband, which is called by the common people "al-fattashah". So what is permissible among these, and what is not permissible?
The Shaykh : Okay. These are four things.
First: The ring. The ring is a ring that the man gives to the wife. Some people have the wife wear it when he wants to marry or when he marries. This custom was not known among us before.
And Shaykh Al-Albani (may Allah guide him) mentioned "that it is taken from the Christians. And that the priest has the couple come to him in the church", and he puts a ring on the woman’s ring finger, middle finger, and index finger. I do not know the exact manner. But he says that it is taken from the Christians. So leaving it off is undoubtedly better, because we should not imitate others. Add to that that some people believe in it in a way where they write the wife’s name on the ring he intends to give her, and he writes his name on the ring he intends to give her. And she writes her name on the ring the husband wears. And they believe that as long as the ring is on the husband’s hand with his wife’s name on it, and on the wife’s hand with her husband’s name on it, there will be no separation between them. And this belief is a type of shirk (associating partners with Allah). It is of the type of magic that they claimed makes the woman love her husband and the husband love his wife. So with this belief, it is haram (forbidden). So now the ring is surrounded by two things. The first thing: it is taken from whom? From the Christians. And the second thing: if the husband believes that it is the cause binding him to his wife, it becomes a type of what? Of shirk. For this reason, we see that leaving it off is better.
As for the necklace: The necklace, by Allah, I do not know if the meaning of necklace is that they believe it links the two spouses? Or is it an expression of the wife’s acceptance of the husband and the husband’s acceptance of the wife? It appears that it is this. And they used to call it in our previous era: "qadab al-riqabah, or qadabah al-riqabah". And qadab means what? Holding. When a man proposed to a woman, he sent her jewelry called "qadabah al-qadab". And the later generations call it a necklace. I do not think there is any harm in it and that there is no blame in it. But the prohibited thing is that I have heard in some countries that the man brings the necklace with the pendant, and he puts it on the wife, and he puts it on the woman who is engaged. And this is haram. The engaged woman with her fiancé is like a woman in the market; it is not permissible for him to take any pleasure from her. And this leads us to an issue, which is that some suitors, when they propose to a woman, start talking to her on the phone a lot, until it reached me that some of them spend the whole night—winter nights are not clear nights—talking to her. Yes? We have heard this. And this is haram. Is the woman now his wife or not his wife? Not his wife. How does he talk to her? And is it reasonable that he talks to her?