A warning regarding the issue of reducing bridal gifts and not forcing daughters to marry those they do not approve of.
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The Shaykh : For this reason, the marriage with the greatest blessing is the one with the least expense. The easier the expense of the marriage, the greater its blessing.
A person marries a man, not money. So if he is marrying a man, let him look at his character and his religion. If he has good character and religion, let him marry him, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1085Da'if (Darussalam) But there are people, may Allah protect us from them, who sell their women. They do not marry off their daughter except to a cousin or a nephew, or something similar to that, which is a form of tribalism that is a remnant of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. This man who restricts his daughter and does not marry her off except to a cousin or a friend, or something similar, has committed a great sin, may Allah protect us from it. He has disobeyed Allah and His Messenger, wronged the daughter, and monopolized what he has no right to monopolize.
And if a man proposes to a person who is suitable in his religion and character, and he does not marry him, then it is obligatory for the judge to intervene in the matter if it is brought to him, and say to the guardian: Either you marry off your daughter, or we will marry her off.
So if he refuses to marry her off, the most likely outcome is that the remaining guardians below him will also refuse. For example, if her father refuses to marry her off, the most likely outcome is that her uncle will also refuse. This is the most likely outcome. So the judge says to her father, for example: Either you marry her off, or we will marry her off, as long as the suitor is suitable in his religion and character.
And if people follow this matter, this custom of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance will be abolished, which is the monopolization of women and restricting them to whoever the father wants from among relatives and friends.
A person marries a man, not money. So if he is marrying a man, let him look at his character and his religion. If he has good character and religion, let him marry him, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then marry (her to) him
إذا أتاكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فأنكحوهAnd if a man proposes to a person who is suitable in his religion and character, and he does not marry him, then it is obligatory for the judge to intervene in the matter if it is brought to him, and say to the guardian: Either you marry off your daughter, or we will marry her off.
So if he refuses to marry her off, the most likely outcome is that the remaining guardians below him will also refuse. For example, if her father refuses to marry her off, the most likely outcome is that her uncle will also refuse. This is the most likely outcome. So the judge says to her father, for example: Either you marry her off, or we will marry her off, as long as the suitor is suitable in his religion and character.
And if people follow this matter, this custom of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance will be abolished, which is the monopolization of women and restricting them to whoever the father wants from among relatives and friends.