Is it permissible for a son to boycott and cut off ties with his parents if they are disobedient to Allah the Mighty and Majestic?
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The Shaykh : His last question, "Is it permissible..." There is no sin on him. This is a question by which many fathers and sons are tested in this time. The questioner asks: Is it permissible for the son to cut off ties and not... and not to deal with them, because they demand that he not pray... [in accordance with] the Shari'ah.
...So the last question may be that their anger at him branches off from the answer to the first question. If the answer to the first question is that his anger is permissible, then his anger is not permissible, meaning it is not justified... And if the answer, as you will hear, is that a son shaking hands with his father is not permissible, then if the father becomes angry in the case of the son cutting off ties with his father, his anger at that time is permissible and justified because it is contrary to the Shari'ah.
To detail this summary: Our Lord the Exalted says in the clear, noble Qur'an[Luqman 31:15] So our Lord the Exalted commanded in this noble verse the son to be good in his companionship with his parents, even if they strive to force him to... [abandon] his religion... [or] his mother. Our Lord the Exalted knows from the son in this state, where his father wants to force him into disbelief and misguidance, that He did not permit him to cut off ties; rather, He commanded him to be good in his companionship. And there is no difference between the father and the mother, and therefore Allah the Exalted said [Luqman 31:15] ... that shirk (associating partners with Allah), as it came in the hadith of Abdullah ibn Mas'ud and others, is the greatest of the major sins. So if the parents are polytheists, and not only that, but they also force their son to associate partners with their Lord and to commit their shirk, even so, our Lord the Exalted commands the son to be good in his companionship with his parents as long as they are in the bond of life. So if this is obligatory by the Shari'ah for the son who strives against two polytheist parents who force him into shirk, then whatever the matter may be for this Muslim man, the Muslim father, whatever the matter is that is actually a forbidden act, as the questioner asks, it is the religion of shirk first, because shirk is the greatest of the major sins as mentioned. Then this father does not force his son to disobey his Lord as he disobeys his Lord. Yes, this is even lighter than that father or the two polytheist parents who want to force their son into shirk. And even so, Allah the Exalted says [Luqman 31:15] And the meaning of this is that if a father is found forcing his son to disobey.
This coercion, the whole matter is that the father is committing a forbidden act contrary to the Shari'ah. Is it permissible for the son to cut off ties with him? The answer is no; rather, he must accompany them in this world with kindness. And part of the good companionship that Allah the Exalted commanded for the son in this noble verse is that he admonish them[Luqman 31:13] And the advice of Ibrahim (peace be upon him) to his father Azar in many verses of the Qur'an, where he advised him not to worship trees and stones and the like, so accompanying the parents in this world with kindness always entails.
And upon you be peace, and Allah's mercy and blessings.
that he remind them of what is obligatory upon them of the mindfulness of Allah Blessed and Exalted is He and obedience to Him. And therefore, cutting off ties here is not permissible; rather, the obligatory thing is to maintain ties. And this is confirmed by a hadith in Sahih al-Bukhari that Asma bint Abi Bakr's mother came to visit her, and Asma's mother was a polytheist. She sought permission from the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) or asked the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) if he would permit her to visit her, and the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) agreed that she should visit her and encouraged her to maintain ties with her, even though she was a polytheist mother.
In summary, it is not permissible for the righteous son, if he is tested with unrighteous parents, to get rid of them by cutting off ties with them. Rather, it is obligatory for him to remain serving them throughout their lives and to advise them from time to time, perhaps Allah the Exalted will guide them. As for cutting off ties here, it is undutifulness to parents, and therefore it is feared that their supplication against him will be answered, because the supplication of a parent against a child is answered if the other known conditions are met.
...So the last question may be that their anger at him branches off from the answer to the first question. If the answer to the first question is that his anger is permissible, then his anger is not permissible, meaning it is not justified... And if the answer, as you will hear, is that a son shaking hands with his father is not permissible, then if the father becomes angry in the case of the son cutting off ties with his father, his anger at that time is permissible and justified because it is contrary to the Shari'ah.
To detail this summary: Our Lord the Exalted says in the clear, noble Qur'an
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
فإن جاهداك على أن تشرك بي ما ليس لك به علم فلا تُطعهما وصاحبها في الدنيا معروفاBut if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
وإن جاهداك على أن تشرك بي ما ليس لك به علم فلا تطعهما وصاحبهما في الدنيا معروفاbut accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
وصاحبهما في الدنيا معروفاThis coercion, the whole matter is that the father is committing a forbidden act contrary to the Shari'ah. Is it permissible for the son to cut off ties with him? The answer is no; rather, he must accompany them in this world with kindness. And part of the good companionship that Allah the Exalted commanded for the son in this noble verse is that he admonish them
And [mention, O Muhammad], when Luqman said to his son while he was instructing him, "O my son, do not associate [anything] with Allah. Indeed, association [with him] is great injustice."
وإذ قال لقمان لابنه وهو يعظه يا بنيّ لا تشرك بالله إن الشرك لظلم عظيمAnd upon you be peace, and Allah's mercy and blessings.
that he remind them of what is obligatory upon them of the mindfulness of Allah Blessed and Exalted is He and obedience to Him. And therefore, cutting off ties here is not permissible; rather, the obligatory thing is to maintain ties. And this is confirmed by a hadith in Sahih al-Bukhari that Asma bint Abi Bakr's mother came to visit her, and Asma's mother was a polytheist. She sought permission from the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) or asked the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) if he would permit her to visit her, and the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) agreed that she should visit her and encouraged her to maintain ties with her, even though she was a polytheist mother.
In summary, it is not permissible for the righteous son, if he is tested with unrighteous parents, to get rid of them by cutting off ties with them. Rather, it is obligatory for him to remain serving them throughout their lives and to advise them from time to time, perhaps Allah the Exalted will guide them. As for cutting off ties here, it is undutifulness to parents, and therefore it is feared that their supplication against him will be answered, because the supplication of a parent against a child is answered if the other known conditions are met.