Text copied Link copied

Al-Fatawa – home

﴿ فَاسْأَلُوا أَهْلَ الذِّكْرِ إِن كُنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ ﴾

Scholar
Search mode

Is it permissible for a son to completely cut off ties with his parents and not speak to them because they are doing something forbidden and contrary to the Shari'ah? And is it permissible for them to be angry with him?

Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The Shaykh : Here is a question with which many fathers and sons are afflicted in this time. The questioner asks: Is it permissible for a son to completely cut off ties with his parents and not speak to them because they are doing something forbidden and contrary to the Shari'ah? And is it permissible for them to be angry with him?
The last question, "Is it permissible for them to be angry with him?" branches off from the answer to the first question. If the answer to the first question is that his action is permissible, then their anger is not permissible; meaning, it is not valid or effective. But if the answer, as you will hear, is that a son cutting off ties with his father is not permissible, then if the father becomes angry in the case of the son cutting off ties with him, his anger at that time is permissible and valid, because the son is contradicting the Shari'ah.
To detail this summary: Our Lord (Mighty and Majestic) says in the clear text of the Noble Qur'an:
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
[Luqman 31:15]
. Our Lord (Mighty and Majestic) commanded in this noble verse the son to treat his father with kindness, even if they strive against him and compel him to disbelieve in his religion, as they disbelieved in it. So, Our Lord (Mighty and Majestic) did not permit the son, in this situation where his father wants to compel him to disbelief and misguidance, to cut off ties with him. Rather, He commanded him to treat him with kindness. Likewise, there is no difference between the father and the mother; therefore, He (the Exalted) said:
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
[Luqman 31:15]
. We all know that shirk (associating partners with Allah), as mentioned in the hadith of Abdullah ibn Mas'ud and others, is the greatest of the major sins. So, if the parents are mushrikin (those who associate partners with Allah), and not only that, but they also compel their son to associate partners with his Lord as they do; despite this, Our Lord (Mighty and Majestic) commands the son to treat his parents with kindness as long as they remain in the bond of life. If this is the obligation prescribed by the Shari'ah for the son toward polytheist parents who compel him to shirk, then whatever the matter may be that this Muslim father, the Muslim parent, is committing of forbidden things, as the questioner asks, it is less than shirk, first of all, because shirk is the greatest of the major sins as we mentioned. Then, this father does not compel his son to disobey his Lord as he disobeys his Lord. Yes, this is even lighter than those polytheist parents who want to compel their son to shirk. And yet, Allah (Mighty and Majestic) says:
but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
[Luqman 31:15]
. This means that if there is a father who compels his son to disobey... this compulsion, all that is in the matter is that this father is committing a forbidden act contrary to the Shari'ah; is it permissible for the son to cut off ties with him?
The answer: No, rather he must treat them with kindness in this world. And part of the good treatment that Allah (Mighty and Majestic) commanded for the son in this noble verse is that he admonish them:
And [mention, O Muhammad], when Luqman said to his son while he was instructing him, "O my son, do not associate [anything] with Allah. Indeed, association [with him] is great injustice." وَإِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَانُ لِابْنِهِ وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُ يَابُنَيَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِاللَّهِ إِنَّ الشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيمٌ
[Luqman 31:13]
. And the advice of Ibrahim (peace be upon him) to his father "Azar" in many verses of the Qur'an, where he advised him not to worship trees and stones and the like, shows that treating parents with kindness in this world necessarily entails—[and upon you be peace and the mercy of Allah and His blessings]—that he remind them of what is obligatory upon them of taqwa (mindfulness of Allah) (Blessed and Exalted is He) and obedience to Him. Therefore, cutting off ties here—[welcome, how are you?]—cutting off ties here is not permissible. Rather, the obligation is to maintain ties. This is confirmed by a hadith in "Sahih al-Bukhari" that Asma bint Abi Bakr came to visit her mother, and she—meaning Asma's mother—was a mushrikah (one who associates partners with Allah). So she sought permission from the Messenger (peace be upon him) or asked the Messenger (peace be upon him): Does he permit her to visit her? The Messenger (peace be upon him) agreed to this visit and encouraged her to maintain ties with her as well, even though she was a polytheist mother.
In summary: It is not permissible for a righteous son, if he is afflicted with unrighteous parents, to get rid of them by cutting off ties with them. Rather, it is obligatory for him to remain serving them throughout their lives, and to advise them from time to time, perhaps Allah (Mighty and Majestic) will guide them. As for cutting off ties here, it is 'uquq (undutifulness to parents). Consequently, it is feared that their supplication against him will be answered, because the supplication of a parent against a child is answered if the other known conditions are met.
Source www.al-albany.com

The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.

Similar fatwas