I am a student in the final year of the Faculty of Human Medicine, but I have not attended the examinations for two years because I enrolled in this faculty based on
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The questioner : May Allah reward you, Shaykh. I am a student in the final year of the Faculty of Human Medicine, but I have not attended the examinations for two years. This is because I originally enrolled in this faculty based on my parents' wish. They want me to become a doctor, but I do not like this profession. I found studying and memorizing extremely difficult, and I was always depressed and sad when I saw the patients and the dead. However, I struggled and forced myself to study to please my parents and be dutiful to them, seeking help from Allah (Mighty and Majestic) in this, until the matter reached its end in the fifth year. I suffered from severe depression and despair of life, and I was no longer able to continue. I was no longer able to study or look at books and notes. However, I hid this from my parents and was unable to enter the examinations. But I was also unable to tell them that I had not entered the examinations, out of fear for their health and so that I would not be a cause of their sadness. I was forced to lie to them and told them that I had entered the examinations and passed them. I am now spending my training year.
The question, O honorable Shaykh (may Allah preserve you), is that I am living in a state of sadness and depression and am not satisfied with myself regarding this lie, which I intended to use to be dutiful to my parents and bring them joy. Should I tell them the truth, despite the harm, sadness, and shock that would result for them? And is there a word to parents to understand their children's capabilities and not force them to study a specific field?
The Shaykh : Yes. I say: May Allah (the Exalted) bless this son and make him dutiful to his parents. His intention is good, but his action is bad. As for his intention, he lied to his parents to prevent what might happen to them, such as illness or depression or the like, and to bring them joy, and this is good. But his lie is bad, without a doubt. He must repent to Allah (the Exalted) from this lie and not return to it. There is no need for him to tell his parents the reality, as long as the matter has already passed. Let him leave it as it is and try, as much as possible, to complete his studies. Perhaps Allah (the Exalted) will put blessing in it, since he undertook it to please his parents. And whoever does something for Allah, Allah will help him with it.
As for my advice to parents, my advice to parents is to let their sons and daughters follow what they love to pursue. The child, whether male or female, knows himself best and knows what fields of knowledge bring him comfort, unless the child, whether male or female, chooses fields of knowledge that are harmful to his religion or his worldly life. In that case, there is no harm in opposing him, advising him to leave it, and pressuring him until he leaves it, because in that lies forbidding evil and preventing harm. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you and bless you. The questioner Tariq says in this question.
The question, O honorable Shaykh (may Allah preserve you), is that I am living in a state of sadness and depression and am not satisfied with myself regarding this lie, which I intended to use to be dutiful to my parents and bring them joy. Should I tell them the truth, despite the harm, sadness, and shock that would result for them? And is there a word to parents to understand their children's capabilities and not force them to study a specific field?
The Shaykh : Yes. I say: May Allah (the Exalted) bless this son and make him dutiful to his parents. His intention is good, but his action is bad. As for his intention, he lied to his parents to prevent what might happen to them, such as illness or depression or the like, and to bring them joy, and this is good. But his lie is bad, without a doubt. He must repent to Allah (the Exalted) from this lie and not return to it. There is no need for him to tell his parents the reality, as long as the matter has already passed. Let him leave it as it is and try, as much as possible, to complete his studies. Perhaps Allah (the Exalted) will put blessing in it, since he undertook it to please his parents. And whoever does something for Allah, Allah will help him with it.
As for my advice to parents, my advice to parents is to let their sons and daughters follow what they love to pursue. The child, whether male or female, knows himself best and knows what fields of knowledge bring him comfort, unless the child, whether male or female, chooses fields of knowledge that are harmful to his religion or his worldly life. In that case, there is no harm in opposing him, advising him to leave it, and pressuring him until he leaves it, because in that lies forbidding evil and preventing harm. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you and bless you. The questioner Tariq says in this question.