A father orders his son to marry, but the son refuses; is this considered undutifulness to parents?
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The questioner : There is a man who says, "My son, I want you to be happy, so I want you to get married." He says, "This is my life, and I do not want to get married. Praise be to Allah, he prays and fasts, and his character is good." So he says to me, "Ask for me."The Shaykh : Is this undutifulness to parents? Am I disobeying my father?
The Shaykh : It is the very definition of undutifulness. What is undutifulness? There is a difference of opinion among scholars regarding the definition of undutifulness. In reality, as you know, it is mentioned in some authentic hadiths that undutifulness to parents is among the major sins. So what is this undutifulness that is among the major sins? For example, if a father says to his son, "My son, bring me a glass of water," and he does not respond, or says, "I am not free," or something to that effect, he is certainly disobedient. But is he undutiful? There are many, many words. What has settled in my heart and opened my chest when I studied this issue is that undutifulness is when a son’s disobedience to his father includes disobedience to his Lord, so that he is disobedient to Allah on one hand and disobedient to his father on the other. Here, these two conditions are met, because it is obligatory for the Muslim youth to get married. If his father also orders him to do so, and he refuses, then he has disobeyed Allah and disobeyed his father. This is undutifulness.
The questioner : His excuse, O Shaykh, is that he says to you, "The time is corrupt, and the generation is corrupt." And I say to him, "You are objecting to this era."
The Shaykh : This is a refuted excuse, because the fact that the time is corrupt is a reason to hasten to marriage to protect oneself, not a reason to refrain from protecting oneself through marriage.
The questioner : Especially since he works among young women, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The Shaykh : It is the very definition of undutifulness. What is undutifulness? There is a difference of opinion among scholars regarding the definition of undutifulness. In reality, as you know, it is mentioned in some authentic hadiths that undutifulness to parents is among the major sins. So what is this undutifulness that is among the major sins? For example, if a father says to his son, "My son, bring me a glass of water," and he does not respond, or says, "I am not free," or something to that effect, he is certainly disobedient. But is he undutiful? There are many, many words. What has settled in my heart and opened my chest when I studied this issue is that undutifulness is when a son’s disobedience to his father includes disobedience to his Lord, so that he is disobedient to Allah on one hand and disobedient to his father on the other. Here, these two conditions are met, because it is obligatory for the Muslim youth to get married. If his father also orders him to do so, and he refuses, then he has disobeyed Allah and disobeyed his father. This is undutifulness.
The questioner : His excuse, O Shaykh, is that he says to you, "The time is corrupt, and the generation is corrupt." And I say to him, "You are objecting to this era."
The Shaykh : This is a refuted excuse, because the fact that the time is corrupt is a reason to hasten to marriage to protect oneself, not a reason to refrain from protecting oneself through marriage.
The questioner : Especially since he works among young women, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.