Explaining the Importance of Gentleness and Wisdom in Da'wah
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The Shaykh : Have you not heard that a man from the Jews passed by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) while Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was with him? The man said, "As-sam 'alayk, O Muhammad. As-sam 'alayk." They do not pronounce it clearly; they assimilate the lam and say "as-sam 'alayk." What does "as-sam" mean? Death. So she (may Allah be pleased with her), out of her love for the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and her jealousy, said to the Jew: She added to it the curse, meaning
The student: Death.
The Shaykh : And the addition is the curse, and the Jews are deserving of the curse. However, the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade her and said:Sunan Ibn Majah 3689Sahih (Darussalam) Then he (peace and blessings be upon him) guided his Ummah that when the People of the Book greet them, they should say: "And to you." Gentleness is important, especially in enjoining good and forbidding evil.
Now, if we were to see a person heading to the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) calling upon the Messenger, is it wise to grab his hand and say, "This is shirk (associating partners with Allah). You are a mushrik (one who associates partners with Allah). Do not approach the Sacred Mosque"? Or should we say, "Let him call upon him until he is finished. When he is done, we will bring him over gently and say, 'What did you say? Are you calling for the Messenger, or are you calling upon the Messenger?' If he says, 'I am calling for the Messenger,' what do we say to him? Correct or incorrect? Correct. But do not use this method so that one who thinks might assume you are calling upon the Messenger. If he says he is calling upon the Messenger, saying, 'O Messenger, give me this, provide me with that,' we address him gently and say, 'If you call upon the Messenger, it will not be answered for you, because Allah the Exalted said to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him):[Al-Jinn 72:21] What? [Al-Jinn 72:21] This is while he was alive. How about after his death? For this reason, when drought and famine struck the Companions during the time of 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him)—the famous year known as the Year of the Dust—they did not seek rain through the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), even though he was in his grave with them. Rather, he said: Then he ordered al-'Abbas to call upon Allah, and he said "Ameen" to his supplication.
We say, "My brother, the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) does not possess [power], and even if you called upon him, it would not be answered for you. Call upon Allah. Call upon Allah." Which do you love more, Allah or the Messenger? We ask him. He might say, "The Messenger is dearer to me." We say, "This is wrong. Love for Allah is the foundation, and love for the Messenger is subordinate to love for Allah, because we did not love him except because he is what? The Messenger of Allah, Mighty and Majestic. So, prioritize love for Allah over love for the Messenger, and love for the Messenger over everyone else after love for Allah. If you love Allah more than you love the Messenger, is Allah more capable of giving you what you ask for, or the Messenger? Yes? Allah, without a doubt. So, turn to whom? To Allah. And we speak to him gently and convince him with scriptural evidence or rational etiquette until he returns. As for what some people do, they become harsh as soon as they see this poor ignorant person whom they do not know, and they are harsh with him in forbidding evil. This is wrong. Perhaps you, or most of you, remember that a man entered the mosque while the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was delivering the sermon on Friday. He sat down before praying the two rak'ahs of greeting the mosque, which is an error and is forbidden. But did the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) reprimand him, or did he ask him first? He said, "Did you pray?" The answer is: the second one, he asked him. He said, "Did you pray?" He said, "No." He said:Sunan Ibn Majah 1114Da’if (Darussalam) So, rushing and being harsh in enjoining good and forbidding evil is contrary to wisdom. What we should do is use wisdom with people so that we may have an impact, by the permission of Allah, Mighty and Majestic.
Upon you be the curse and the curse
عليك السام واللعنةThe student: Death.
The Shaykh : And the addition is the curse, and the Jews are deserving of the curse. However, the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade her and said:
Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness in all things.
إن الله رفيق يحب الرفق في الأمر كلهNow, if we were to see a person heading to the grave of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) calling upon the Messenger, is it wise to grab his hand and say, "This is shirk (associating partners with Allah). You are a mushrik (one who associates partners with Allah). Do not approach the Sacred Mosque"? Or should we say, "Let him call upon him until he is finished. When he is done, we will bring him over gently and say, 'What did you say? Are you calling for the Messenger, or are you calling upon the Messenger?' If he says, 'I am calling for the Messenger,' what do we say to him? Correct or incorrect? Correct. But do not use this method so that one who thinks might assume you are calling upon the Messenger. If he says he is calling upon the Messenger, saying, 'O Messenger, give me this, provide me with that,' we address him gently and say, 'If you call upon the Messenger, it will not be answered for you, because Allah the Exalted said to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him):
Say, "Indeed, I do not possess for you
قل إني لا أملك لكمharm or right direction."
ضرا ولا رشداWe seek rain, O our Lord. We seek rain from You through our Prophet, and we seek rain from You through al-'Abbas, the uncle of our Prophet
إننا نستسقي يا ربنا إنا نستسقي إليك بنبينا وإنا نستسقي إليك بالعباس بعم نبيناWe say, "My brother, the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) does not possess [power], and even if you called upon him, it would not be answered for you. Call upon Allah. Call upon Allah." Which do you love more, Allah or the Messenger? We ask him. He might say, "The Messenger is dearer to me." We say, "This is wrong. Love for Allah is the foundation, and love for the Messenger is subordinate to love for Allah, because we did not love him except because he is what? The Messenger of Allah, Mighty and Majestic. So, prioritize love for Allah over love for the Messenger, and love for the Messenger over everyone else after love for Allah. If you love Allah more than you love the Messenger, is Allah more capable of giving you what you ask for, or the Messenger? Yes? Allah, without a doubt. So, turn to whom? To Allah. And we speak to him gently and convince him with scriptural evidence or rational etiquette until he returns. As for what some people do, they become harsh as soon as they see this poor ignorant person whom they do not know, and they are harsh with him in forbidding evil. This is wrong. Perhaps you, or most of you, remember that a man entered the mosque while the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was delivering the sermon on Friday. He sat down before praying the two rak'ahs of greeting the mosque, which is an error and is forbidden. But did the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) reprimand him, or did he ask him first? He said, "Did you pray?" The answer is: the second one, he asked him. He said, "Did you pray?" He said, "No." He said: