My father married another woman in addition to my mother, and he leaned entirely toward his second wife. Disputes arose, which led to my mother’s divorce because of his second wife, and now...

The questioner : The questioner says, O honorable Shaykh, my father married another woman in addition to my mother, and he leaned entirely toward his second wife. Disputes arose, which led to my mother’s divorce because of his second wife. Now my father’s wife has sons and daughters, and the relationship is cut off between me and them. Is the father’s wife included in maintaining family ties? I want to maintain ties with my brothers from my father, and their mother lives with them in the same house, so I have to greet her. My mother has cursed me if I greet my father’s wife. What should I do? I want to be dutiful to my father as well, but I do not know what to do. I want you to send a message to my mother regarding maintaining family ties?

The Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. First, this question, as we have all heard, indicates that the first wife was angry when her husband married another woman in addition to her, is that not so?
The student: Yes.

The Shaykh : And does a woman have the right to be angry if her husband marries another woman? The answer is no, but jealousy drives a woman to do so, and what happens to her is something that cannot be prevented; it is natural jealousy. So we say that a person should let the rational side prevail over the side of jealousy and emotion. We advise this woman to return to thinking and know that a man marrying a second wife is not blameworthy. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married nine women; he married more, but he died leaving nine women. And Allah (Mighty and Majestic) said in His Book: She should make her mind up to this matter. But unfortunately, the end, as in the question, was that she chose divorce and separation. The matter remains with the children of the first wife: do they maintain ties with their brothers from the second wife, and do they maintain ties with the second wife? The answer to that is that we say: As for their maintaining ties with their brothers from the second wife, there is no doubt that it is maintaining family ties. Maintaining family ties is among the best deeds that bring one closer to Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and cutting off family ties is among the most hateful deeds and is one of the major sins. As for maintaining ties with their father’s wife, their father’s wife has no relationship with them in terms of kinship because she is a stranger, but because their father loves her, maintaining ties with her is part of being dutiful to their father. And so, their maintaining ties with their father’s wife is part of being dutiful to their father. They can do what is required of maintaining family ties with their brothers and maintaining the love of their father for his wife without the mother knowing; they can keep it from her and not tell her that they are going to their brothers or to their father’s wife. In this way, the required is achieved and the disliked is removed. As for the matter of the curse, let it be known that the One who answers supplication is Allah (Mighty and Majestic). And Allah (Exalted is He) does not answer the supplication of one who is unjust. Her cursing her children if they maintain their family ties is injustice, so Allah (Mighty and Majestic) will not answer it.