A woman is insulted by her husband and does not respond to him for her entire life, and he uses very ugly words; is it permissible for me to sit with him?
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The questioner : She mentions that her husband insults her, saying: "And I did not respond to him for my entire life. He says: 'O witch,' and uses very ugly words that I cannot mention because of their ugliness and harshness. Is it permissible for me to sit with him? I ask for guidance."
The Shaykh : Sitting with this husband and being patient with his harm is better, and there is reward in it. And if Allah the Exalted said to men:[An-Nisa 4:19], then likewise we say to women: Treat your husbands with kindness. If you dislike them, perhaps you will dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.
So my advice to this wife is to be patient and to seek reward from Allah Mighty and Majestic. Whoever is patient will succeed, and whoever seeks reward will be rewarded. Perhaps Allah the Exalted will change the state of her husband to a state better than this.
As for her husband, I say to him: Fear Allah, my brother. Fear Allah in yourself. Give rights to their owners. Treat your wife with kindness. Imagine that someone married your daughter and treated her in this manner; would you be pleased? If you are not pleased, how can you be pleased with yourself doing this to the daughter of people? A person should love for his brothers what he loves for himself. A person should treat people as he loves to be treated by them, so that his faith is realized, by the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family):Sahih al-Bukhari 13. Yes.
The questioner : The listener from Buraydah did not mention his name here. He says.
The Shaykh : Sitting with this husband and being patient with his harm is better, and there is reward in it. And if Allah the Exalted said to men:
And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِنْ كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًاSo my advice to this wife is to be patient and to seek reward from Allah Mighty and Majestic. Whoever is patient will succeed, and whoever seeks reward will be rewarded. Perhaps Allah the Exalted will change the state of her husband to a state better than this.
As for her husband, I say to him: Fear Allah, my brother. Fear Allah in yourself. Give rights to their owners. Treat your wife with kindness. Imagine that someone married your daughter and treated her in this manner; would you be pleased? If you are not pleased, how can you be pleased with yourself doing this to the daughter of people? A person should love for his brothers what he loves for himself. A person should treat people as he loves to be treated by them, so that his faith is realized, by the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family):
None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself.
لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى يحب لأخيه ما يحب لنفسهThe questioner : The listener from Buraydah did not mention his name here. He says.