Is it permissible to obey one's relatives in gathering for condolences?
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The Shaykh : And those who say: that wudu' is not a condition, that this duration has broken the continuity, meaning: when does he leave?
And when does he find an empty place in which to perform wudu'?
And when does he return?
So this man now: he must go to Makkah, and if he is a man with a wife, he does not approach her, until he goes to Makkah and performs Tawaf al-Ifadah in his clothes and returns, and if he wishes to enter ihram from the miqat for 'Umrah, he performs tawaf and sa'y and shortens his hair, then performs Tawaf al-Ifadah, and there is no harm in that.
The questioner : Shall I convey this to him?
The Shaykh : Convey it to him.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O Shaykh. Regarding condolences at the house, they hold them for three days sometimes. The uncle or the cousin or the son of the uncle orders you to be present at the condolences, and it causes us difficulties, meaning there may be a dispute with the uncle, and he may not speak to you for months, and this has happened to us, so what is your ruling, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh : May Allah reward you. Gathering for condolences is a religious innovation (bid'ah). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his Companions did not gather for this, even though it is sometimes accompanied by many things that are wrong. So do not attend the gathering, and do not open your door for the gathering.
And the matter of so-and-so getting angry or not getting angry is of no concern, as long as the way of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) contradicts this. We are commanded to follow the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Allah the Exalted said:[Al-Qasas 28:65].
Then, in opening the door for condolences, there is an indication that the bereaved are not satisfied, as if they are saying to people: O people, come and console us. And in Allah (Mighty and Majestic) is consolation from all of this.
So I see that you should cut off this, and if he boycotts you or cuts off your ties, the sin is upon him. You do not boycott him or cut off his ties, and the sin is upon him.
And when does he find an empty place in which to perform wudu'?
And when does he return?
So this man now: he must go to Makkah, and if he is a man with a wife, he does not approach her, until he goes to Makkah and performs Tawaf al-Ifadah in his clothes and returns, and if he wishes to enter ihram from the miqat for 'Umrah, he performs tawaf and sa'y and shortens his hair, then performs Tawaf al-Ifadah, and there is no harm in that.
The questioner : Shall I convey this to him?
The Shaykh : Convey it to him.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O Shaykh. Regarding condolences at the house, they hold them for three days sometimes. The uncle or the cousin or the son of the uncle orders you to be present at the condolences, and it causes us difficulties, meaning there may be a dispute with the uncle, and he may not speak to you for months, and this has happened to us, so what is your ruling, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh : May Allah reward you. Gathering for condolences is a religious innovation (bid'ah). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his Companions did not gather for this, even though it is sometimes accompanied by many things that are wrong. So do not attend the gathering, and do not open your door for the gathering.
And the matter of so-and-so getting angry or not getting angry is of no concern, as long as the way of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) contradicts this. We are commanded to follow the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Allah the Exalted said:
And [mention] the Day He will call them and say, "What did you answer the messengers?"
ويوم يناديهم يقول ماذا أجبتم المرسلينThen, in opening the door for condolences, there is an indication that the bereaved are not satisfied, as if they are saying to people: O people, come and console us. And in Allah (Mighty and Majestic) is consolation from all of this.
So I see that you should cut off this, and if he boycotts you or cuts off your ties, the sin is upon him. You do not boycott him or cut off his ties, and the sin is upon him.