What is the ruling on women visiting graves in general, and is a woman who did not attend her son's funeral and did not see him permitted to visit?
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The questioner : Your Eminence, the Shaykh
The Shaykh : Yes
The questioner : What is the ruling on women visiting graves if, for example, they are in one country and their son is in another, and then they did not see him when he died, or they did not attend his death, and then they go to visit him in the cemetery? The mother, in particular, is sensitive. If this mother wails a lot and reduces her worship if she does not see her son, what is the ruling on visiting for her? And what is the ruling on women visiting graves in general?
The Shaykh : Women visiting graves in general is forbidden, indeed it is among the major sins, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed women who visit graves. This woman who remained sad over the loss of her son because she did not witness his funeral, that happened to her from Satan. And if she goes, for example, and visits her son, will she see her son? She will not see him. So what is the benefit? And if the intention is to make du'a, we tell her: you can make du'a while you are in your house. But Satan incites her and disturbs her until she goes to the grave.
Then, when she goes to the grave, it does not appear to her that she increases except in sadness and attachment to the grave, and perhaps she repeats the visit because of that.
For this reason, we direct advice to this mother and say to her: be patient and seek reward from Allah, for to Allah belongs what He takes and to Him belongs what He leaves, and everything is with Him by a specified term. Increase in making du'a for your son, and say what Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
Yes, if a woman passes by the cemetery and stops and makes du'a for them, there is nothing wrong with that. But if she leaves her house with the intention of visiting the cemetery or visiting a specific grave, it is forbidden, indeed it is among the major sins.
The Shaykh : Yes
The questioner : What is the ruling on women visiting graves if, for example, they are in one country and their son is in another, and then they did not see him when he died, or they did not attend his death, and then they go to visit him in the cemetery? The mother, in particular, is sensitive. If this mother wails a lot and reduces her worship if she does not see her son, what is the ruling on visiting for her? And what is the ruling on women visiting graves in general?
The Shaykh : Women visiting graves in general is forbidden, indeed it is among the major sins, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed women who visit graves. This woman who remained sad over the loss of her son because she did not witness his funeral, that happened to her from Satan. And if she goes, for example, and visits her son, will she see her son? She will not see him. So what is the benefit? And if the intention is to make du'a, we tell her: you can make du'a while you are in your house. But Satan incites her and disturbs her until she goes to the grave.
Then, when she goes to the grave, it does not appear to her that she increases except in sadness and attachment to the grave, and perhaps she repeats the visit because of that.
For this reason, we direct advice to this mother and say to her: be patient and seek reward from Allah, for to Allah belongs what He takes and to Him belongs what He leaves, and everything is with Him by a specified term. Increase in making du'a for your son, and say what Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
O Allah, reward me in my calamity and replace for me something better than it
اللهم أجرني في مصيبتي واخلفني خيراً منهاYes, if a woman passes by the cemetery and stops and makes du'a for them, there is nothing wrong with that. But if she leaves her house with the intention of visiting the cemetery or visiting a specific grave, it is forbidden, indeed it is among the major sins.