What is the ruling on a woman who curses her husband and her husband's relatives when she is angry?
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The questioner : I am asking about the ruling on a woman who curses her husband and her husband's relatives when she is angry. What is the ruling in that matter? May you be rewarded.
The Shaykh : Anger is a coal that Satan throws into the heart of the son of Adam, causing his neck veins to bulge and his face and eyes to redden. He may lose his composure and be unable to act or speak appropriately. For this reason, the stronger position is that if a man divorces his wife while angry and unable to control himself, his divorce does not take effect.
Similarly, regarding this wife who curses her husband and his relatives, in my opinion, nothing but the anger her husband provokes in her would lead her to do so. Otherwise, it is inconceivable that a woman who is calm and content with her husband would stand up and curse him and his relatives, such as his mother, father, sister, and brother. That is far-fetched. However, it appears that the husband angered her to the point where she began cursing him and his relatives.
On this occasion, I warn husbands against belittling their wives without right, for Allah the Exalted has warned against that, saying:[An-Nisa 4:34] He is higher than you, O husband who has elevated yourself above your wife, and greater and more noble than you, so fear Him.
But some people, may Allah protect us from that, treat the wife as if she were a servant, or even in a worse state than a servant. They insult her on every occasion, make things difficult for her on every occasion, and do not consider her a human being like them. Yet the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) guided husbands to an ideal method, saying (peace and blessings be upon him):Sahih Muslim 1468b meaning: he does not hate Sahih Muslim 1468b.
This means: if you, O husband, dislike a trait in your wife, look at her other traits. If you dislike that she is slow in making the tea or cooks the lunch poorly, look at the many days on which she excelled in her cooking and tea-making, and the like.
Therefore, it is obligatory for male husbands to fear Allah Mighty and Majestic in their treatment of their wives and to fulfill their rights. Likewise, it is obligatory for the woman to fulfill the rights of her husband that Allah has made obligatory upon her:[Al-Baqarah 2:228].
The questioner : May Allah bless you, O honorable Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Anger is a coal that Satan throws into the heart of the son of Adam, causing his neck veins to bulge and his face and eyes to redden. He may lose his composure and be unable to act or speak appropriately. For this reason, the stronger position is that if a man divorces his wife while angry and unable to control himself, his divorce does not take effect.
Similarly, regarding this wife who curses her husband and his relatives, in my opinion, nothing but the anger her husband provokes in her would lead her to do so. Otherwise, it is inconceivable that a woman who is calm and content with her husband would stand up and curse him and his relatives, such as his mother, father, sister, and brother. That is far-fetched. However, it appears that the husband angered her to the point where she began cursing him and his relatives.
On this occasion, I warn husbands against belittling their wives without right, for Allah the Exalted has warned against that, saying:
But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًاBut some people, may Allah protect us from that, treat the wife as if she were a servant, or even in a worse state than a servant. They insult her on every occasion, make things difficult for her on every occasion, and do not consider her a human being like them. Yet the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) guided husbands to an ideal method, saying (peace and blessings be upon him):
A believing man should not hate a believing woman
لا يفرك مؤمن مؤمنةA believer does not hate
لا يفركA believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
مؤمن مؤمنة ، إن كره منها خلقاً رضي منها خلقاً آخرThis means: if you, O husband, dislike a trait in your wife, look at her other traits. If you dislike that she is slow in making the tea or cooks the lunch poorly, look at the many days on which she excelled in her cooking and tea-making, and the like.
Therefore, it is obligatory for male husbands to fear Allah Mighty and Majestic in their treatment of their wives and to fulfill their rights. Likewise, it is obligatory for the woman to fulfill the rights of her husband that Allah has made obligatory upon her:
And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ وَاللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌThe questioner : May Allah bless you, O honorable Shaykh.