They state in their letter that when seven days have passed since the death of the deceased, the women among the family of the deceased go to the cemetery to visit him.
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The questioner : They also state in their letter that when seven days have passed since the death of the deceased, the women among the family of the deceased go to the cemetery to visit him and they cry again. When fifteen days are completed, they repeat the same practice. Again, when forty days are completed, they grieve over him for a year or more and forbid the children from playing and having fun. Is this permissible or not? We ask your eminence to provide us with information. May Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : This practice is not permissible, because if a woman leaves her home for the purpose of visiting graves, she is cursed, may Allah protect us from that.
The questioner : We seek refuge in Allah.
The Shaykh : Because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed those who visit graves, and these women went out to visit graves and to wail at the grave as well, because it appears from their condition that they do not limit themselves to mere crying, but rather there must be wailing. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also cursed the wailer and the listener. Furthermore, observing a mourning period for a year is entirely from what is wrong and not permissible. It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to observe a mourning period for a deceased person for more than three days, except for her husband, for whom it is four months and ten days.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And any mourning period other than that is forbidden and not permissible.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Let the believer know that if he is patient with the calamity, Allah (Mighty and Majestic) will help him, guide his steps, make him forget his calamity, and reward him for it, provided he seeks reward from Allah. If he complains and grieves, the calamity will remain in his heart, and his regret will increase upon his regret. So let him fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and be pleased with Him as his Lord, for Allah has wisdom in what He has taken and what He has left, and everything is with Him by a specified term.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : This is a letter we received from al-Hufuf from Bakhit Sa'id al-Du'ari, in which he says.
The Shaykh : This practice is not permissible, because if a woman leaves her home for the purpose of visiting graves, she is cursed, may Allah protect us from that.
The questioner : We seek refuge in Allah.
The Shaykh : Because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed those who visit graves, and these women went out to visit graves and to wail at the grave as well, because it appears from their condition that they do not limit themselves to mere crying, but rather there must be wailing. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also cursed the wailer and the listener. Furthermore, observing a mourning period for a year is entirely from what is wrong and not permissible. It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to observe a mourning period for a deceased person for more than three days, except for her husband, for whom it is four months and ten days.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And any mourning period other than that is forbidden and not permissible.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Let the believer know that if he is patient with the calamity, Allah (Mighty and Majestic) will help him, guide his steps, make him forget his calamity, and reward him for it, provided he seeks reward from Allah. If he complains and grieves, the calamity will remain in his heart, and his regret will increase upon his regret. So let him fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and be pleased with Him as his Lord, for Allah has wisdom in what He has taken and what He has left, and everything is with Him by a specified term.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : This is a letter we received from al-Hufuf from Bakhit Sa'id al-Du'ari, in which he says.