The benefits of the saying of Allah the Exalted: << ووصينا الإنسان بوالديه حسنا . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . >

First: The obligation of being excellent to one's parents in speech, action, and wealth.
Second: The affirmation of the mercy of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), for He commanded man to be kind to his parents.
Third: Do the parents have a right even if they are disbelievers? Yes, they have a right even if they are disbelievers. Where do we take this from? ... No, it is not with us ... The verse is [Al-'Ankabut: 8]. So they are polytheists, and they strive to make you associate [partners with Allah], and yet Allah obligated kindness to them.
And among its benefits is that there is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator, based on His saying: .
And among the benefits of the verse is the obligation of obeying them in matters other than sin, for He only prohibited obedience to them in sin. Here, pay attention, everyone, because this may require discussion. It is said: A person is prohibited from obeying his parents in shirk, and silence is kept regarding obedience to them in matters other than shirk. Let us make "sin" more general: A person is prohibited from obeying them in sin, and silence is kept regarding obedience to them in matters other than sin, or not? What is prohibited, everyone? What is prohibited is obeying them in sin. Obeying them in matters other than sin is left unaddressed. Let us see: Is obeying them in what is obligatory obligatory? Yes, because Allah made it obligatory. For example, if your father says to you: "Stand up and pray with the congregation," it is obligatory for you to pray. Is obeying them in matters that are neither obedience nor sin indicated by the verse to be obligatory, or not? It does not indicate that it is obligatory, but it indicates that it is obligatory if it involves kindness to them. If there is kindness to them in obeying them, then the verse indicates that it is obligatory, based on His saying: . If there is no kindness to them in obeying them, then the verse does not indicate that it is obligatory. For this reason, Shaykh al-Islam said that obeying the parents is only obligatory in what benefits them and does not harm you, in what benefits them and does not harm you. Leave it to yourselves, everyone! The verse indicates what the Shaykh said, because Allah prohibited obeying them in sin and was silent about obeying them in matters other than sin ... Obeying them in matters other than sin, if it includes kindness to them, yes, it is obligatory, based on His saying: . So if your father orders you, for example, to go to the market and buy a need, that is obligatory for you because it is kindness to him, so you must do it. Yes, if your father orders you not to associate with so-and-so because he is upright, is it obligatory for you or not? It is not obligatory, because there is harm in that, or at least no ... but there is no benefit for him. Okay, if he says: "Do not associate with so-and-so because so-and-so has a personal enmity with him, and you have no benefit from associating with him and no harm to you," is it obligatory to obey him? Yes, it is obligatory to obey him, because your association with your father's enemy angers your father, so there is benefit in that. So the important thing now is that we say: The rule in this matter is that if they order you to commit a sin, do you obey them or not?
The student: No.

The Shaykh : Okay, if your father says to you: "Do not perform Hajj this year," and you are able to perform Hajj with your wealth and your body, and you have not performed the obligatory Hajj, do you obey him or not? You do not obey him. It is obligatory for you ... to perform Hajj, even if he is not pleased.
The student: ...... ?

The Shaykh : If he is in need, then here it is looked into. If there is no one to take your place and he is in dire need of you, then return, because Hajj is dropped from you in this case.
Okay, if he orders you not to perform Hajj this year, and it is a voluntary Hajj and he has no benefit from this, but he just says: "My son, there are many pilgrims ... do not perform Hajj," obedience is not obligatory, but obedience is permissible. It is permissible but not obligatory, because you do not have an obligation. And if we say it is permissible but not obligatory, then at that time a person should look at what results from his travel. It may be that the father cannot settle down while his son has traveled to this large gathering and remains anxious during his son's absence. Here, what is preferred? Obedience and not traveling. But if we know that he does not care, but it is, for example, by way of advice, or he is not affected, then at that time it is not obligatory to obey him in this matter, but it is recommended to accommodate him as much as possible.
The student: ....... ?

The Shaykh : If he says: "Divorce your wife," it is not obligatory for you to comply, unless there is a Sharia benefit, such as the husband having discovered something that you cannot bear to keep your wife with you because of it.
The student: ...

The Shaykh : If there is a personal enmity between him and her, it is not obligatory for you, but in such a case, you can accommodate it by moving her to another place, keeping her away from him, so he is at ease and she is at ease.
And as for the action of Ibn 'Umar with his father, this is ... When Ahmad was asked by a man about a man whose father ordered him to divorce his wife, he said: "Do not divorce her." He said: "Did not 'Umar order Ibn 'Umar to divorce his wife, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered him to divorce her?" He said: "Yes, indeed, that happened, but is your father 'Umar? What did he say? ... He is not 'Umar."
Okay, so the noble verses indicate the prohibition of obeying them in sin and were silent about obeying them in matters other than sin. And on this basis, obeying them is not obligatory except if it falls within the beginning of the verse. What is that? If it is kindness to them. If there is kindness to them in it, it is obligatory, based on His saying: [Al-Hijr: 15]. Yes.
The student: .......?

The Shaykh : Yes, it is not obligatory for him to comply.
Okay, it is derived from this verse, O Ya'qub! Prohibition. The last benefit ... The obligation of obeying them in matters other than the disobedience of Allah. This clarifies for us that it is not correct, the obligation of obeying them in matters other than the disobedience of Allah, if that is ... note it down ... if that is from kindness to them.
Among the benefits of the verse is that the right of Allah is greater than all rights. Does that include the right of His Prophet? Yes, it includes it. So the right of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) upon you is greater than the right of your parents.
And among the benefits of the verse is that shirk with Allah cannot be established by any evidence; rather, all evidence is against it and its invalidity.
And among them is the affirmation of the resurrection and returning to Allah, based on His saying: .
And among the benefits of the verse is also that man is recompensed for his deeds, based on His saying: .
And among them is the affirmation of the knowledge of Allah. Where do we take this from? Because informing is notifying, and there is no notification except based on knowledge.