The categories of feasts that people gather for.

The Shaykh : There are feasts for which people gather other than the wedding feast. Some are permissible, some are disliked, and some are forbidden. Among the forbidden feasts is when people gather with the family of the deceased for condolences, and the family of the deceased prepares food for the gatherers. This is forbidden based on the statement of Jarir ibn 'Abd Allah al-Bajali (may Allah be pleased with him) "We considered gathering with the family of the house and preparing food to be wailing". Wailing is forbidden, indeed it is a major sin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the wailer. This is forbidden. And among them is the feast accompanied by musical instruments, singing, and dancing. This is also... Is it lawful, Ya Mas'ud, or forbidden? What is forbidden? No, we did not say the wedding feast.

The questioner : The feast that includes musical instruments.

The Shaykh : Whether for a wedding or otherwise. For example, if a person succeeds in the first round with an excellent grade, yes, so he holds a night of singing. What is the ruling on this feast? It is forbidden because it contains what is forbidden. The disliked feast is the second wedding feast, because it involves a type of extravagance, so it is disliked. The permissible feast is all other feasts that are held when something pleasing occurs. It is from the category of permissible matters, not from the category of religious innovation, as some people have thought. Accordingly, if a person moves into a new house and holds a feast and invites people to it, we consider this feast permissible because the person does it not as a recommended practice, and not because the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) did it or the Companions did it, but as a display of joy and happiness with what Allah has bestowed upon him in the form of the new house. The circumcision feast: some people have the custom that when a child is circumcised, they hold a lunch or dinner feast and invite people to it. We used to know this from before. Its ruling is permissible, because the original ruling for all actions other than worship is permissibility until evidence comes to prohibit it. The third and fourth categories: yes, the recommended feast is the wedding feast for the first time. This is recommended. The evidence for this is the statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to 'Abd al-Rahman ibn 'Awf . The command here is either for obligation or for recommendation. So the wedding feast is a recommended practice for whose benefit? Is it for the benefit of the woman and her family, or for the benefit of the husband? The answer is the second: it is a feast for the benefit of the husband, because the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said to 'Abd al-Rahman , and he did not say to his in-laws "hold a feast," but rather said "hold a feast." And because the blessing is greater for the husband than for the wife, because he is the one seeking, he is the one who asks for the woman. It is very rare for a woman to ask for a man.