Explanation of the Book of Marriage-03

The Shaykh : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions.
The author stated, citing what was transmitted from Jabir ibn 'Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: .
"When one of you proposes" means: when he intends to propose, as it came in the other narration from Ahmad that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: So if a man intends to propose to a woman, let him look. Expressing intention through the action is common in the Qur'an and the Sunnah. In the Qur'an, in the saying of Allah the Exalted: "When you recite" means: when you intend to recite. And in the Sunnah: meaning: when he intends to enter. When he intends to enter, the action is not used to express his intention unless the intention is firm and the action follows it. For example, if you recite the Qur'an and seek refuge, there must be a firm intention, and the recitation must be what? It must follow the intention. As for intending to recite, for example, after 'Asr, one cannot describe it as having recited in the morning, because the time between the intention and the action has become distant.
The origin of the proposal (khitbah) is the request for marriage and the marriage contract. When they wanted that, they would present a proposal before this request, making it a means to acceptance. For example, a man would go to the woman's family, sit with them, and make a proposal, informing them about himself, then saying: "And I am proposing to your daughter" or something similar. However, this method varies according to people and circumstances. Sometimes a person can go himself to the woman's guardian and propose to him. Sometimes he cannot do that, and the custom is to send a messenger. Sometimes he cannot do that, and the custom is to write a letter. So the matter is according to the custom of the people.
"If he is able" means: if he is capable. This is because women who are secluded cannot be seen by a man however he wishes. But if he is able through effort, let him do so. They would hide for the woman, meaning they would lurk for the woman, until he could look at what would incline him to marry her.
And his saying: What is it that inclines him? The most important thing is the face. If a person sees that the woman is beautiful in face, he proceeds to propose to her, and the rest of the body parts follow accordingly. So the most important thing is the face. It is known that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) does not want him to look at the private parts, the belly, the back, or the like. Rather, he wants him to look at what is generally visible among her mahrams (close relatives). This is what is permitted for the person. And his saying: The lam (letter) here is for command. The original meaning of command is a genuine request. The scholars differed on this. Some said: The lam here is for permissibility because it came after prohibition. Because the original ruling is that a man is prohibited from looking at a woman. So when it is said: "If such and such, then look," the command here is for permissibility, like His saying, Blessed and Exalted is He: Here the command is for permissibility because it came after the prohibition and prevention. And some scholars said: Rather, the command here is for guidance and recommendation. I have not seen anyone say that it is for obligation. So here there are two opinions: The first is that the command is for permissibility because it came after prohibition, because the original ruling is that a man is prohibited from looking at a woman. The second is that it is for guidance and recommendation due to the benefits that follow from it. Among them is that it is more likely to lead to harmony between them, as it came in the hadith, meaning to bring them together. Because in that case, he proceeds with knowledge: if he is pleased with her, he marries her, and if he is not pleased, he leaves her with knowledge. And among them is that a person is not blamed if he says: "I am leaving her because she has such and such," unlike if he proposes and then withdraws without a reason, in which case people may blame him. But if it is due to seeing her, he will explain the reason.