The Ruling on Women Visiting Graves and the Meaning of the Lamenting Woman and the Listener

The questioner: She has another question, Your Eminence, in which she asks: Is it forbidden for women to visit graves if the deceased is a very dear person? The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) spoke the truth, but I truly did not understand the meaning of "the listener" in this hadith. Does it refer to the nosy woman who eavesdrops on people's conversations, or the woman who listens to songs, or the woman who listens to the television and radio? We ask for clarification on this. May Allah reward you with good?
The Shaykh: Regarding women visiting graves, it has been mentioned previously that it is not permissible. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: meaning: for men. He used to teach his Companions to say when they visited graves: , and in the hadith of Aisha: , but as for women, he forbade them from this. It came in the hadiths: , so it is not permissible for them to visit graves. However, it is prescribed for them to supplicate for their deceased for forgiveness, mercy, entry into Paradise, and safety from the Fire, without visiting the graves, while they are in their homes. There is no harm in them praying for the deceased, as mentioned previously, in the mosques or in the prayer area, just as women prayed for the funerals during the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and during the time of his Companions. As for the lamenting woman and the listener, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade wailing. He said: , and he said: , which Muslim narrated in his Sahih. Thus, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) made clear that wailing over the dead is a blameworthy matter from the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, so it is obligatory to leave it. Umm Atiyyah said: , and Abu Dawud (may Allah have mercy on him) narrated in his Sunan from Abu Sa'id (may Allah be pleased with him) , from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he: , and there is weakness in its chain, there is weakness in its chain, but its meaning has corroborating narrations, which is that wailing is forbidden and a blameworthy act. So it is not permissible for a woman to engage in wailing, nor for a man either. Neither men nor women are to wail. And wailing is raising the voice with crying; this is wailing. Likewise, saying "Woe to us" or "Woe to our hearts" with a raised voice, all of this is wailing. As for the listener: she is the one who listens to the wailing and encourages it. She sits with them, listens to their wailing, and encourages them to wail. She falls under this ruling because her sitting is a type of encouragement, so it is not permissible for her to listen. Rather, if the wailing woman does not stop, it is obligatory for her to leave and not sit with her, as a form of boycotting her and as a form of disapproving of her. If she sits and listens, that becomes a type of assistance and a type of encouragement. So it is not permissible for her to listen to the wailing woman; rather, she should disapprove of her and forbid her. If she stops, fine; otherwise, she should leave her and not sit with her listening to her. As for listening to songs and other things, that is a separate discussion from listening to wailing. Listening to songs is a blameworthy act for men and women. Songs are among the blameworthy acts and among the causes of the sickness and hardness of hearts and straying from the truth, as Allah (Mighty and Majestic) said in His great Book: [Luqman:6]. This is evidence that buying idle talk, meaning acquiring it, whether without a price or with a price, is a blameworthy and condemned act. So Allah mentioned this as a way of blaming and criticizing them: [Luqman:6], meaning: [Luqman:6]. It was recited (li-yudilla) with a dammah, and it was recited (li-yudilla) with a fathah. This indicates that buying idle talk is among the causes of misguidance and leading others astray without knowledge, and among the causes of taking the verses of Allah in mockery. For this reason, He said after it: [Luqman:6], meaning: the path of Allah, meaning: the religion of Allah. And this is a great danger. Idle talk is singing, as the majority of the scholars said. Most of the scholars, including the exegetes and others, said that it is singing. And if it is accompanied by a musical instrument, such as the oud, the violin, the hand drum, or the drum, the prohibition is stronger and the sin is greater. So that is not permissible, and neither a woman nor a man should engage in it, whether it is on the television, on the radio, on recordings, or otherwise, or on video. All of this is forbidden. And if that video contains a blameworthy display, such as the mixing of women and men, or seeing a man with his wife, or something similar, the prohibition is greater and the sin is more severe. So such a thing is never permissible, neither for men nor for women. But the issue of wailing is something else. Wailing is related to the deceased, whether one wails over him in the house, at the grave, or in any place. So it is not permissible to listen to the wailing woman or to encourage her in her bad deed. Rather, it is obligatory to disapprove of her, warn her, and prevent her from it. And Allah is the One to be asked for help. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.