Guidance for one who curses his father
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question:
In the last of this questioner’s questions from Makkah al-Mukarramah, she says: “O His Eminence the Shaykh, I often curse my father in my heart and in my affairs, and I say: ‘Hasbunallah wa ni’m al-wakil’ (Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs), for he is harsh, rough, stingy, and ill-mannered. Is this undutifulness to parents? And what do you advise us?”
May Allah reward you.
Answer:
Yes, it is not permissible for you to curse him. But you should say: “O Allah, guide him. O Allah, protect us from his evil.” (Hasbunallah wa ni’m al-wakil) is fine. But cursing him is not allowed. Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) says:[Al-Isra 17:23] and lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say: “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small” [Al-Isra: 23-24]. And regarding disbelieving parents, He said: [Luqman: 15], even though they are disbelievers who call him to shirk (associating partners with Allah).
And Allah says to him: [Luqman: 15]. So it is obligatory for you to pray for him with guidance, success, and the rectification of his intention and deeds, and that Allah protects you from his evil. You should pray for him that Allah protects you from his evil: “O Allah, protect us from the evil of our parent. O Allah! Guide him. O Allah, rectify his heart and his deeds. O Allah, protect us from his evil,” and the like. Yes.
The presenter: His Eminence the Shaykh, some fathers are strict and harsh with their sons. Is there any guidance for fathers?
The Shaykh: Yes, it is not permissible. It is obligatory for parents to be gentle with their children, merciful to their children, kind to their children, and to raise them with a Shari'ah-based upbringing, and to be cautious of wronging them. So it is obligatory for the father and the mother to fear Allah regarding the child and not wrong him—whether he is male or female—unless he deserves discipline; because he leaves the prayer. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan ad-Daraqutni 3:5 So if he hits him because he is ill-mannered, harms his brothers, damages his brothers, or does things that warrant punishment; he disciplines him with light discipline that does not harm him, if it is for a Shari'ah interest. Or if he neglects the prayer and has reached ten years of age; there is no harm in disciplining him. Or if he does actions that are not good, such as: taking up smoking, or hitting his younger brothers, or being undutiful to his mother, then he disciplines him. All of this is good, but with gentleness. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you, His Eminence the Shaykh.
In the last of this questioner’s questions from Makkah al-Mukarramah, she says: “O His Eminence the Shaykh, I often curse my father in my heart and in my affairs, and I say: ‘Hasbunallah wa ni’m al-wakil’ (Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs), for he is harsh, rough, stingy, and ill-mannered. Is this undutifulness to parents? And what do you advise us?”
May Allah reward you.
Answer:
Yes, it is not permissible for you to curse him. But you should say: “O Allah, guide him. O Allah, protect us from his evil.” (Hasbunallah wa ni’m al-wakil) is fine. But cursing him is not allowed. Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) says:
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًاAnd Allah says to him:
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًاThe presenter: His Eminence the Shaykh, some fathers are strict and harsh with their sons. Is there any guidance for fathers?
The Shaykh: Yes, it is not permissible. It is obligatory for parents to be gentle with their children, merciful to their children, kind to their children, and to raise them with a Shari'ah-based upbringing, and to be cautious of wronging them. So it is obligatory for the father and the mother to fear Allah regarding the child and not wrong him—whether he is male or female—unless he deserves discipline; because he leaves the prayer. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Order your children to pray at seven years of age, and beat them for it at ten
مروا أولادكم بالصلاة لسبع، واضربوهم عليها لعشرThe presenter: May Allah reward you, His Eminence the Shaykh.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.