The Woman's Obligation Toward Her Husband Who Is Negligent in Prayer
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Question:
The following message was received by the program from Yemen, sent by one of the female listeners. She says: The sender is Umm Aymen 'Abdullah 'Ali Yahya Sa'id from Taiz, Yemen. Her message is somewhat long, Your Eminence. She says: I always listen to the program (Nur 'ala al-Darb), and I have a question if you permit me to present it and have it answered: I am a married woman with four children, and Allah has guided me to prayer and fasting. I have taught my children prayer and fasting since they were seven years old. My husband was away for a long period, and when he returned and settled down, life began to flow anew among us. But my husband, since I knew him—since sixteen years ago—has been negligent in the Fajr prayer. This is before my eyes, and as for when he was traveling, Allah knows. He does not always pray Fajr, whether he hears the call or not. I have advised him not to be negligent in the Fajr prayer, but he gets angry with me and quarrels with me, saying that he will make it up when he wakes up after the sun rises. I am pained by this because he is our role model in the house. He also sometimes is negligent in the Friday prayer. I advise him not to be negligent in the Friday prayer, but he gets angry with me and tries to quarrel with me. However, I avoid quarreling with him in front of my children, and I hold back the anger in my heart. I have felt hatred and aversion toward him because of his negligence in prayer. Is there a sin on me for hating him and not wanting to look at him? And please excuse the length of the question. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
You have done well—may Allah reward you with good—in raising the children, teaching them, and striving in the means of their rectification. This is what is obligatory upon you, and you have a great reward with Allah.
You have also done well in advising your husband and urging him repeatedly to maintain the Fajr prayer and the Friday prayer. This is what is obligatory upon you and those like you: advising the husband, advising the children, enjoining good, and forbidding evil. Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) says in His clear Book, the Qur'an: [Al-Tawbah: 71]. These are the ones who are merciful in this world and the Hereafter. You are among them—if Allah wills—because of your eagerness for good.
Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) informed about the believers, both men and women, all of them. They are all commanded, and it is obligatory upon all of them to enjoin good, forbid evil, establish prayer, give zakah, and obey Allah and His Messenger.
And He says, the Exalted: Indeed, man is in loss, except those who believe and do righteous deeds and enjoin truth and enjoin patience [Al-'Asr: 1-3]. So enjoining truth is obligatory with the children, with the husband, with the relatives, with the neighbors, and with all the Muslims. It is obligatory upon all men and women to enjoin truth and patience in it. By that, societies are rectified, families are rectified, the affair of Allah is straightened among His servants, and the truth becomes apparent.
And He says, the Exalted: [Al-Ma'idah: 2]. So it is obligatory upon you to continue advising him. You are rewarded for your hatred of him and your aversion to him, because he has committed a great evil, indeed disbelief; because whoever intentionally leaves prayer intentionally becomes a disbeliever by that. And so it is with whoever intentionally leaves the Friday prayer.
So it is obligatory upon your husband to fear Allah, and to maintain the Friday prayer and the Fajr prayer like the rest of the prayers. And I fear for him—if he is lying—that he is a disbeliever if he does not pray Fajr, or does not pray the Friday prayer. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih Muslim 865 Narrated by Muslim in the Sahih. And he said (peace and blessings be upon him): And he said (peace and blessings be upon him): Narrated by Muslim in his Sahih. And he also said (peace and blessings be upon him): Sunan Ibn Majah 1079Sahih (Darussalam).
So you must be strict with him, and he should not approach you until he is straight. Otherwise, separate from him completely, and go to your family, or to a house where you are alone with your children. You have more right to your children than he does, because one like him would raise them in evil. So you are more entitled to your children. And you must continue advising this husband while preventing yourself from him, until he repents to Allah, and until he returns to the truth, and until he maintains all the prayers. We ask Allah for his guidance, and that He grant him repentance. And we ask Allah for you an increase in success, a great reward, and that He make your efforts, your calling, and your advice beneficial. And that He make you a blessing wherever you are. And that He guide him to accept your advice, and to guidance that helps him in good and helps him in leaving evil. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, and reward you well, Your Eminence! This woman is close to being ideal!
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar, may Allah reward her with good. Yes.
The presenter: And Your Eminence must have a word for every wife who believes in Allah.
The Shaykh: Yes, yes. Every wife must fear Allah, and help her husband in obeying Allah, and not be lenient with him, and not make deals with him. And the husband likewise must fear Allah in his wife, and help her in obeying Allah, and oblige her to pray at its time. Each of them must help the other, and advise the other.
Allah says to His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): [Ta-Ha: 132]. And He says, the Exalted: [Al-Tahrim: 6]. So it is obligatory upon the entire family to cooperate in good: the husband and the wife, the father and the mother, the brother and the son, and the daughter. They all cooperate. It is obligatory upon all of them to cooperate in righteousness and piety, and to enjoin truth. So the husband commands his wife and obliges her to the truth, even by discipline. And the wife likewise advises her husband and helps him in the truth. And if he does not respond, he deserves boycott from her regarding the sins he has committed openly.
And the boycott is three days in speech. And if it is disbelief, it is obligatory upon her to leave him: such as leaving prayer, or insulting the religion. This is disbelief: insulting the religion, or insulting the Messenger, or leaving prayer makes one a disbeliever. It is obligatory upon her to leave him, and go to her family, and prevent him from herself.
And likewise if he denies something that Allah has forbidden; such as considering intoxicants permissible, or zina, and seeing it as lawful. Or if he sees that prayer is not obligatory, saying: It is not obligatory, we have no prayer, or we have no zakah... This is major shirk. Or if he mocks the religion: he makes fun of prayer, or makes fun of Islam, or makes fun of zakah, or makes fun of the Messenger and mocks him; all of this is major shirk, and apostasy from Islam. We seek refuge in Allah.
The point is: it is obligatory upon the two spouses, and the entire family: mutual advice, cooperation in righteousness and piety, enjoining truth, and patience in that. And Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) will help them if they are sincere and pure in intention. He will help them, make them successful, and make their efforts beneficial. This is His Sunnah with His servants: that He, the Exalted, makes successful whoever is sincere to Him and helps him. As He said (Glorified and Exalted is He):[At-Talaq 65:2] and He will provide for him from where he does not expect [Al-Talaq: 2-3]. And He says, the Exalted: [Al-Talaq: 4]. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, and reward you well, and accept from you.
The following message was received by the program from Yemen, sent by one of the female listeners. She says: The sender is Umm Aymen 'Abdullah 'Ali Yahya Sa'id from Taiz, Yemen. Her message is somewhat long, Your Eminence. She says: I always listen to the program (Nur 'ala al-Darb), and I have a question if you permit me to present it and have it answered: I am a married woman with four children, and Allah has guided me to prayer and fasting. I have taught my children prayer and fasting since they were seven years old. My husband was away for a long period, and when he returned and settled down, life began to flow anew among us. But my husband, since I knew him—since sixteen years ago—has been negligent in the Fajr prayer. This is before my eyes, and as for when he was traveling, Allah knows. He does not always pray Fajr, whether he hears the call or not. I have advised him not to be negligent in the Fajr prayer, but he gets angry with me and quarrels with me, saying that he will make it up when he wakes up after the sun rises. I am pained by this because he is our role model in the house. He also sometimes is negligent in the Friday prayer. I advise him not to be negligent in the Friday prayer, but he gets angry with me and tries to quarrel with me. However, I avoid quarreling with him in front of my children, and I hold back the anger in my heart. I have felt hatred and aversion toward him because of his negligence in prayer. Is there a sin on me for hating him and not wanting to look at him? And please excuse the length of the question. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
You have done well—may Allah reward you with good—in raising the children, teaching them, and striving in the means of their rectification. This is what is obligatory upon you, and you have a great reward with Allah.
You have also done well in advising your husband and urging him repeatedly to maintain the Fajr prayer and the Friday prayer. This is what is obligatory upon you and those like you: advising the husband, advising the children, enjoining good, and forbidding evil. Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) says in His clear Book, the Qur'an:
The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.
وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ يَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَيُقِيمُونَ الصَّلاةَ وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَيُطِيعُونَ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ أُوْلَئِكَ سَيَرْحَمُهُمُ اللَّهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌAllah (Exalted and Majestic is He) informed about the believers, both men and women, all of them. They are all commanded, and it is obligatory upon all of them to enjoin good, forbid evil, establish prayer, give zakah, and obey Allah and His Messenger.
And He says, the Exalted:
By Time,
وَالْعَصْرِ And He says, the Exalted:
And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression.
وَتَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْبِرِّ وَالتَّقْوَى وَلا تَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِSo it is obligatory upon your husband to fear Allah, and to maintain the Friday prayer and the Fajr prayer like the rest of the prayers. And I fear for him—if he is lying—that he is a disbeliever if he does not pray Fajr, or does not pray the Friday prayer. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
People must cease to neglect the Friday prayer or Allah will seal their hearts and then they will be among the negligent.
لينتهين أقوام عن تركهم الجمعات؛ أو ليختمن الله على قلوبهم، ثم ليكونن من الغافلينWhoever leaves three Friday congregations without an excuse, Allah will seal his heart.
من ترك ثلاث جمع بغير عذر؛ طبع الله على قلبهBetween a man and disbelief and shirk (associating partners with Allah) is the abandonment of prayer.
بين الرجل، وبين الكفر والشرك ترك الصلاةThe covenant that distinguishes between us and them is prayer; so whoever leaves it, he has committed Kufr.
العهد الذي بيننا وبينهم الصلاة، فمن تركها فقد كفرSo you must be strict with him, and he should not approach you until he is straight. Otherwise, separate from him completely, and go to your family, or to a house where you are alone with your children. You have more right to your children than he does, because one like him would raise them in evil. So you are more entitled to your children. And you must continue advising this husband while preventing yourself from him, until he repents to Allah, and until he returns to the truth, and until he maintains all the prayers. We ask Allah for his guidance, and that He grant him repentance. And we ask Allah for you an increase in success, a great reward, and that He make your efforts, your calling, and your advice beneficial. And that He make you a blessing wherever you are. And that He guide him to accept your advice, and to guidance that helps him in good and helps him in leaving evil. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, and reward you well, Your Eminence! This woman is close to being ideal!
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar, may Allah reward her with good. Yes.
The presenter: And Your Eminence must have a word for every wife who believes in Allah.
The Shaykh: Yes, yes. Every wife must fear Allah, and help her husband in obeying Allah, and not be lenient with him, and not make deals with him. And the husband likewise must fear Allah in his wife, and help her in obeying Allah, and oblige her to pray at its time. Each of them must help the other, and advise the other.
Allah says to His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
And enjoin upon your family the prayer and be patient in it.
وَأْمُرْ أَهْلَكَ بِالصَّلاةِ وَاصْطَبِرْ عَلَيْهَاO you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُAnd the boycott is three days in speech. And if it is disbelief, it is obligatory upon her to leave him: such as leaving prayer, or insulting the religion. This is disbelief: insulting the religion, or insulting the Messenger, or leaving prayer makes one a disbeliever. It is obligatory upon her to leave him, and go to her family, and prevent him from herself.
And likewise if he denies something that Allah has forbidden; such as considering intoxicants permissible, or zina, and seeing it as lawful. Or if he sees that prayer is not obligatory, saying: It is not obligatory, we have no prayer, or we have no zakah... This is major shirk. Or if he mocks the religion: he makes fun of prayer, or makes fun of Islam, or makes fun of zakah, or makes fun of the Messenger and mocks him; all of this is major shirk, and apostasy from Islam. We seek refuge in Allah.
The point is: it is obligatory upon the two spouses, and the entire family: mutual advice, cooperation in righteousness and piety, enjoining truth, and patience in that. And Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) will help them if they are sincere and pure in intention. He will help them, make them successful, and make their efforts beneficial. This is His Sunnah with His servants: that He, the Exalted, makes successful whoever is sincere to Him and helps him. As He said (Glorified and Exalted is He):
And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out
وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him of his matter ease.
وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِ يُسْرًاThe presenter: May Allah reward you with good, and reward you well, and accept from you.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.