What is the husband's obligation toward a wife who is excessive in obedience to her Lord?
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Our brother says that he is afflicted with a wife who is not righteous, but she is his cousin and also an orphan. She is not obedient to her Lord—as he says—and consequently not obedient to him. He asks the Shaykh for guidance: should he divorce her or be patient with her? And what do you advise him to do, if you please?
Answer: First, he must look into her situation regarding her disobedience to her Lord. If she does not pray, abandoning the prayer is disbelief according to the stronger of the two opinions of the scholars, as previously mentioned. If she does not deny its obligation, then such a woman is not to be cohabited with or associated with until she repents to Allah, turns away from her disbelief, and establishes the prayer. However, if she commits other sins, such as backbiting or some laxity in hijab, or similar sins, then he should do what is most beneficial. If he sees that being patient with her, advising her, and disciplining her—even with appropriate striking that does not wound or break bones, a strike that disciplines and causes pain but does not cause great harm—is the way, then as Allah the Exalted said: [Surat al-Nisa: 34]. A believer disciplines his wife if she does not straighten out through admonition and reminder, or through separation. It is permissible for him to discipline her with appropriate discipline that does not harm her but causes her some pain and frightens her until she straightens out in the command of Allah. Or he may inform her father, if she has one, or her brother, if she has a good brother, so that he may advise her or discipline her and help her husband with her.
The presenter: He says that she is an orphan, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh: Even if she is an orphan, being an orphan does not prevent her from being disciplined and advised. An orphan is disciplined when he errs; he is disciplined and struck if he abandons prayer, even if he is ten years old. He is struck if he is ill-mannered, until he becomes accustomed to good and habituated to good, even if he is an orphan. Some people think that an orphan is not disciplined or struck. No, an orphan is struck when the need for striking arises, and he is disciplined and imprisoned until he straightens out and becomes accustomed to the Shari'ah manners. Otherwise, he will become a burden on people and a harm to people, corrupt and lost. There is no power and no strength except with Allah. Yes.
The presenter: So the Shaykh sees that he should discuss the matter of prayer with this girl, if she denies its obligation or is lax or negligent, and then start anew in his relationship with her?
The Shaykh: First, he must look into the matter of prayer. If she does not pray, he must teach her that abandoning prayer is disbelief and that she is not a proper wife for him while she abandons prayer. It is obligatory for him to separate from her unless she repents. If she repents, praise be to Allah; otherwise, he must isolate himself from her until she repents to Allah. If she is poor, he should spend on her if he is able, or seek to provide for her due to her poverty, perhaps Allah will guide her thereby, and perhaps she will return to the right path. If she persists, he must refer her case to the authorities. They will ask her to repent; if she repents, well and good, otherwise she is killed; because one who abandons prayer and does not repent is killed. We ask Allah for safety. If the matter involves other sins besides abandoning prayer, then sins are dealt with through discipline. The husband, her father, or her brother disciplines her, along with advice, admonition, and reminder, until she straightens out, if Allah wills, along with kindness to her through financial maintenance. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you. So the door of discussion is open in this case?
The Shaykh: Yes.
Answer: First, he must look into her situation regarding her disobedience to her Lord. If she does not pray, abandoning the prayer is disbelief according to the stronger of the two opinions of the scholars, as previously mentioned. If she does not deny its obligation, then such a woman is not to be cohabited with or associated with until she repents to Allah, turns away from her disbelief, and establishes the prayer. However, if she commits other sins, such as backbiting or some laxity in hijab, or similar sins, then he should do what is most beneficial. If he sees that being patient with her, advising her, and disciplining her—even with appropriate striking that does not wound or break bones, a strike that disciplines and causes pain but does not cause great harm—is the way, then as Allah the Exalted said:
But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them
وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّThe presenter: He says that she is an orphan, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh: Even if she is an orphan, being an orphan does not prevent her from being disciplined and advised. An orphan is disciplined when he errs; he is disciplined and struck if he abandons prayer, even if he is ten years old. He is struck if he is ill-mannered, until he becomes accustomed to good and habituated to good, even if he is an orphan. Some people think that an orphan is not disciplined or struck. No, an orphan is struck when the need for striking arises, and he is disciplined and imprisoned until he straightens out and becomes accustomed to the Shari'ah manners. Otherwise, he will become a burden on people and a harm to people, corrupt and lost. There is no power and no strength except with Allah. Yes.
The presenter: So the Shaykh sees that he should discuss the matter of prayer with this girl, if she denies its obligation or is lax or negligent, and then start anew in his relationship with her?
The Shaykh: First, he must look into the matter of prayer. If she does not pray, he must teach her that abandoning prayer is disbelief and that she is not a proper wife for him while she abandons prayer. It is obligatory for him to separate from her unless she repents. If she repents, praise be to Allah; otherwise, he must isolate himself from her until she repents to Allah. If she is poor, he should spend on her if he is able, or seek to provide for her due to her poverty, perhaps Allah will guide her thereby, and perhaps she will return to the right path. If she persists, he must refer her case to the authorities. They will ask her to repent; if she repents, well and good, otherwise she is killed; because one who abandons prayer and does not repent is killed. We ask Allah for safety. If the matter involves other sins besides abandoning prayer, then sins are dealt with through discipline. The husband, her father, or her brother disciplines her, along with advice, admonition, and reminder, until she straightens out, if Allah wills, along with kindness to her through financial maintenance. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you. So the door of discussion is open in this case?
The Shaykh: Yes.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.