The Ruling on Obeying a Mother Who Prohibits Visiting the Father’s Relatives
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Question:
She says: My mother has prevented us from visiting our relatives who are related to our father due to some disputes that occurred between them, including their not visiting us and their cutting off ties with us, unless we invite them to an occasion. Do we sin by leaving off visiting them in obedience to our mother, since obeying the parents is obligatory? Please inform us about this matter. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Obeying the parents is obligatory in what is good, and maintaining family ties is also obligatory. Maintaining family ties is obligatory through kind words, through visiting, through charity, and through gifts. It is obligatory for your mother not to prevent you from visiting relatives, such as the father’s paternal uncles and the father’s maternal uncles. The father’s paternal uncles are your paternal uncles, and his maternal uncles are your maternal uncles, and his father is your grandfather. So she has no right to prevent you from maintaining family ties that contain no harm or evil. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Abi Dawud 2625Sahih (Al-Albani) Mishkat al-Masabih 3696.
It is obligatory for the mother to allow you and not to prevent you from the ties that Allah has prescribed and made obligatory. And it is upon you to seek her pleasure through kind words and good manners, and to try with her to allow you, so that you combine both benefits. May Allah grant success to everyone.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. Your Eminence, the Shaykh! What is your guidance for relatives who do not gather except on occasions?
The Shaykh: In any case, if gathering on occasions takes place, praise be to Allah, because visiting is not a necessary condition of maintaining ties. Maintaining ties means not cutting off relations; it means not cutting off relations through kind words, through the telephone, through greeting when meeting, through visiting, through sending a gift. Everything that indicates the soundness of hearts achieves maintaining ties, even if he does not visit, even if it is by telephone, even by sending greetings through some companions.
In any case, maintaining ties is the opposite of cutting off relations. Some people may be able to visit, and some may not be able to visit, but if he connects with them through kind words via the telephone, via the phone, or via correspondence, or via having some companions convey greetings, or via visiting, or via a gift, and the like, all of this is called maintaining ties. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. So physical visiting is not required...?
The Shaykh: It is not necessary, it is not necessary. A preventer may prevent it. Yes.
The presenter: And Allah is the Helper, may Allah reward you with good.
She says: My mother has prevented us from visiting our relatives who are related to our father due to some disputes that occurred between them, including their not visiting us and their cutting off ties with us, unless we invite them to an occasion. Do we sin by leaving off visiting them in obedience to our mother, since obeying the parents is obligatory? Please inform us about this matter. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Obeying the parents is obligatory in what is good, and maintaining family ties is also obligatory. Maintaining family ties is obligatory through kind words, through visiting, through charity, and through gifts. It is obligatory for your mother not to prevent you from visiting relatives, such as the father’s paternal uncles and the father’s maternal uncles. The father’s paternal uncles are your paternal uncles, and his maternal uncles are your maternal uncles, and his father is your grandfather. So she has no right to prevent you from maintaining family ties that contain no harm or evil. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Obedience is in matters which are good and universally recognized.
إنما الطاعة في المعروفA creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the "Creator.”
لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالقIt is obligatory for the mother to allow you and not to prevent you from the ties that Allah has prescribed and made obligatory. And it is upon you to seek her pleasure through kind words and good manners, and to try with her to allow you, so that you combine both benefits. May Allah grant success to everyone.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. Your Eminence, the Shaykh! What is your guidance for relatives who do not gather except on occasions?
The Shaykh: In any case, if gathering on occasions takes place, praise be to Allah, because visiting is not a necessary condition of maintaining ties. Maintaining ties means not cutting off relations; it means not cutting off relations through kind words, through the telephone, through greeting when meeting, through visiting, through sending a gift. Everything that indicates the soundness of hearts achieves maintaining ties, even if he does not visit, even if it is by telephone, even by sending greetings through some companions.
In any case, maintaining ties is the opposite of cutting off relations. Some people may be able to visit, and some may not be able to visit, but if he connects with them through kind words via the telephone, via the phone, or via correspondence, or via having some companions convey greetings, or via visiting, or via a gift, and the like, all of this is called maintaining ties. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good. So physical visiting is not required...?
The Shaykh: It is not necessary, it is not necessary. A preventer may prevent it. Yes.
The presenter: And Allah is the Helper, may Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.