Her family mistreated her and refused to let her move out with her husband into a separate house

Question:
This is a message we received from a questioner who identified herself as “The Confused One” (S. Sh.) from Riyadh. This questioner is actually presenting a long-standing problem, which can be summarized as follows: she married a man about seven months ago, someone she was not initially convinced about, but after the marriage she came to love him and became pregnant. However, she had a miscarriage due to her poor physical and mental condition. She says that the cause of her poor condition is that she lived with his large family while working as an employee. She would leave work exhausted and find problems at home from her husband’s relatives. She says that they force her to do things she does not want to do, which are forbidden; such as going out in front of her husband’s older brothers, sitting with them, and eating with them, even though this is not permissible in the Shari'ah. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: She says: I have encountered various forms of torment from these people, and I was patient and submitted, but the matters exceeded reasonable limits. The situation reached the point where they accused me of impropriety and dishonor. I asked my husband, “What is the solution?” He said, “Be patient and endure.” But I was unable to, and my husband was passive toward me. He would leave the house and leave me, and would not return until after midnight. So I decided that I and he should move out into a separate house. His father and mother objected and threatened him that they would disinherit him if he moved out into a separate house. His father asked him to send me back to my family. I have been with my family for three months now, and my health has deteriorated, as has my husband’s. He has not brought me back and has not inquired about me, even though each of us loves the other, because of his fear of his parents and his eldest brother. She asks, saying: What is the solution to this? Should I ask for divorce from him, even though I want him and he wants me, or what should I do? But do not say, may Allah reward you with good: “Go back and live with his family,” for it is not reasonable for me to live with them after they accused me of impropriety. And I do not agree to go out in front of his male brothers under any circumstances. Please advise us, may Allah reward you?

Answer:
If the reality is as the questioner described, there is no harm in his moving out into a separate house, and he is not required to obey his parents in this matter, because his parents did not consider his condition, did not have mercy on his situation, and did not appreciate the circumstances the questioner mentioned. So there is no blame on him for moving out into a separate house, and he should ask his parents for permission. If they refuse to give permission, there is no blame on him, but he should strive to appease them and be careful to address them in the best manner. As for inheritance, Allah knows best who will die first, and they do not have the right to disinherit him. They do not have the right to disinherit him of his inheritance, even if they make a bequest to disinherit him. They have no right to do so, and a bequest to disinherit him is invalid. The matter is not up to them. If they die before him, he will inherit from them even if they refuse. So he should not fear this. But the important thing is to avoid undutifulness to parents. If they did not appreciate his condition, then his moving out in that case is not undutifulness, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) says: So he should move out if he wishes, and be in a separate house, and bring you back to a suitable residence. He should appease his parents to the best of his ability and means in the future. And his parents should be pleased and help him to reunite with his family, and not be harsh with him in this matter.
As for your going out in front of your brothers, and in front of non-mahrams, uncovered, and their forcing you to do so, this is a wrong that is not permissible. This indicates the weakness of their faith, if you are truthful in what you said. We ask Allah for guidance and success for everyone.
The presenter: May Allah bless you. But assuming he did not respond and did not move out, and she remains with her family, is it permissible for her to ask for divorce?
The Shaykh: If the situation is as you described, she should ask for divorce. Yes, because she is excused.
The presenter: And she will not fall under the warning?
The Shaykh: No, she will not fall under it. She may ask for divorce because she is excused, due to what you mentioned. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you.