I had an uncle who passed away seven years ago, leaving behind his wife and seven young children, with no one to look after their upbringing and care, so I proposed marriage to them.

The questioner : I had an uncle who passed away seven years ago, leaving behind his wife and seven children, all of whom were young, with no one to look after their upbringing and care. So I proposed marriage to their mother, even though she is about twenty years older than me, out of my desire to care for them, raise my uncle's children, and look after them. I actually married her and stayed with them in their house, because she refused to move to my own house. Now, after the children have grown up and some of them have reached the age of nineteen, they hate me intensely and ask me to leave their home. Please note that since I married their mother, I have treated them as my own children and spent from my own money on them, but none of that has had any effect on them. Please also note that I did not object to leaving their house, but it was their mother, who is my wife, who refused to leave her first house to come to my house. Please note that I have two children from her, the oldest of whom is four years old. I was forced to comply with her children's request and leave the house, and I no longer enter it at all, to the point that even my own children do not know me. What is the ruling on her refusal to move to my house and her insistence on staying in her first husband's house? Does this reason permit me to divorce her? And what is your opinion regarding the attitude of her children toward me?

The Shaykh : I say that your action is a good one, so may Allah reward you with good, for you did this for the sake of reforming your uncle's children. This is undoubtedly maintaining family ties. As for the children who are demanding your departure from the house after they have grown up, they should reflect on the matter and look into it. Your staying in your uncle's house for the sake of your wife, her comfort, the custody of your children and their care, and the custody of your uncle's children who have not reached puberty, is undoubtedly in the interest of everyone. I advise these children who are demanding your departure to think about the matter repeatedly until the benefit becomes clear to them. If they insist that you leave their house, you are free to leave their house and take your wife and your children with you, unless the woman had stipulated in the marriage contract that you should stay in her house, in which case it is obligatory for you to fulfill the condition for her. In that case, there is no blame on you for entering the house in order to enjoy your wife, because this is a condition stipulated for you, unless the mother agrees to leave. In that case, your leaving is better than your staying amidst conflict and dispute. You should leave with her and her children from you, as well as the young ones among your uncle's children. And success is from Allah.

The questioner : May Allah reward you.