Ruling on preferring one of two wives to the detriment of the other
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Question:
A man has two wives, and one of the wives treats her husband better than the other in terms of food, clothing, and bedding. Is it permissible for him to prefer her over the other?
Answer:
It is obligatory for him to be just between the two wives, for Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, has commanded justice. So he must be just between them, and he must teach the one whose character has become bad or who has neglected his rights. He must teach her and guide her to good with wisdom and kind words.
It is authentic from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: "Whoever has two wives and leans toward one of them will come on the Day of Resurrection with one side of his body tilted."
So it is obligatory to be just between the wives. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would divide between his wives and be just, and he would say:Sunan Abi Dawud 2134.
What he is able to do in terms of dividing between them in time, in all his circumstances, and in financial maintenance, he does that. As for what he does not control in terms of love and what follows it in terms of intercourse, he is not required to be just in that; for love is in the hand of Allah, not in his hand. One may be more beloved to him than the other, and he may desire one more than the other, and it is not by his choice. Justice is not required in this, and he does not sin if he has intercourse with one more than the other, or loves one more than the other; for these are matters in the hand of Allah, not in the hand of the servant.
As for his being just with her by giving her her right of her day and night and her financial maintenance; this is obligatory. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "And they have the right to be provided with their food and clothing in the customary manner." He did not say: "And justice between them in intercourse, or in love." No, this is not what a person controls, it is not by his choice. But if one of them is bad in companionship and does not fulfill the obligation; he teaches her, guides her, and does what is required of reconciliation with her: from admonition and reminding, or boycotting, or disciplining if the need calls for it and boycotting does not benefit and admonition does not benefit.
A man has two wives, and one of the wives treats her husband better than the other in terms of food, clothing, and bedding. Is it permissible for him to prefer her over the other?
Answer:
It is obligatory for him to be just between the two wives, for Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, has commanded justice. So he must be just between them, and he must teach the one whose character has become bad or who has neglected his rights. He must teach her and guide her to good with wisdom and kind words.
It is authentic from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: "Whoever has two wives and leans toward one of them will come on the Day of Resurrection with one side of his body tilted."
So it is obligatory to be just between the wives. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would divide between his wives and be just, and he would say:
O Allah, this is my division concerning what I control, so do not blame me concerning what You control and I do not.
اللهم هذا قسمي فيما أملك، فلا تلمني فيما تملك ولا أملكWhat he is able to do in terms of dividing between them in time, in all his circumstances, and in financial maintenance, he does that. As for what he does not control in terms of love and what follows it in terms of intercourse, he is not required to be just in that; for love is in the hand of Allah, not in his hand. One may be more beloved to him than the other, and he may desire one more than the other, and it is not by his choice. Justice is not required in this, and he does not sin if he has intercourse with one more than the other, or loves one more than the other; for these are matters in the hand of Allah, not in the hand of the servant.
As for his being just with her by giving her her right of her day and night and her financial maintenance; this is obligatory. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "And they have the right to be provided with their food and clothing in the customary manner." He did not say: "And justice between them in intercourse, or in love." No, this is not what a person controls, it is not by his choice. But if one of them is bad in companionship and does not fulfill the obligation; he teaches her, guides her, and does what is required of reconciliation with her: from admonition and reminding, or boycotting, or disciplining if the need calls for it and boycotting does not benefit and admonition does not benefit.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.