My son is twenty-two years old, and he has cut me off for about twenty years. I am his mother, and my heart always prays for his success and guidance, and I have not done anything that would make him cut me off for such a long time, except that a divorce occurred between me and his father, and until now his heart has not softened or come to me to apologize. May Allah reward you.
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The questioner : My son is twenty-two years old, and he has cut me off for about twenty years. I am his mother, and my heart always prays for his success and guidance. I have not done anything that would make him cut me off for such a long time, except that a divorce occurred between me and his father. Until now, his heart has not softened or come to me to apologize. O honorable Shaykh, is it obligatory for me to pray for him or not, because my heart cannot bear to pray against him? And what is the ruling on his action? May Allah reward you?
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions.
This son who separated from you with his father twenty years ago, and who did not care for you, nor visit you, nor maintain ties with you, has committed a great evil. This is because he neglected the dutifulness to parents that Allah commanded in His saying:[An-Nisa 4:36], and His saying: [Al-Isra 17:23], and He the Exalted said: [Luqman 31:14] So this son must repent to Allah the Mighty and Majestic from this severance and this undutifulness to parents, and he must return to his right mind, and fulfill the obligation of excellence in worship and the obligation of dutifulness to parents. Otherwise, he is in great danger, may Allah protect us from that.
As for you, you are to be thanked for the supplication you make for him, and you are on the right path. By this action, you have maintained family ties, and Allah the Mighty and Majestic has pledged to the family tie that He will maintain ties with those who maintain them, and sever ties with those who sever them. So you should continue to supplicate for him, and perhaps Allah the Exalted and Glorious will guide him through your supplication for him. As for my advice to this man, or to this son, it is that he should abandon his undutifulness to parents and severance, and turn to dutifulness and excellence in worship toward you, and thank you for what you provided for him. And if he repents, Allah will accept his repentance.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions.
This son who separated from you with his father twenty years ago, and who did not care for you, nor visit you, nor maintain ties with you, has committed a great evil. This is because he neglected the dutifulness to parents that Allah commanded in His saying:
Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good
وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًاAnd your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًاAnd We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.
وَوَصَّيْنَا الإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُAs for you, you are to be thanked for the supplication you make for him, and you are on the right path. By this action, you have maintained family ties, and Allah the Mighty and Majestic has pledged to the family tie that He will maintain ties with those who maintain them, and sever ties with those who sever them. So you should continue to supplicate for him, and perhaps Allah the Exalted and Glorious will guide him through your supplication for him. As for my advice to this man, or to this son, it is that he should abandon his undutifulness to parents and severance, and turn to dutifulness and excellence in worship toward you, and thank you for what you provided for him. And if he repents, Allah will accept his repentance.