The ruling on one whose parents oppose his marriage to a second wife?
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The Shaykh : And now we will hear from the brother what he promised us, which is good — if Allah wills.
Another questioner : May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh. May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : May Allah bless you.
The questioner : There is a question, actually, returning to plural marriage. A man wanted to marry a second wife, and the opposition from his parents was severe; so does he proceed with the marriage, or does he obey his parents in the matter?
The Shaykh : This is an important question. The answer is by reminding of a rule: if the matter revolves between a harm and a benefit, removing the harm takes precedence.
- Start with your right hand, there = [NoteThe Shaykh : to one of the attendees] -.
So giving precedence to removing the harm takes precedence over seeking the benefit, especially if the benefit is not obligatory, but rather recommended, as we are now in this topic. Plural marriage is a recommended matter, whereas having only one wife is an obligatory matter.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Due to his saying — (peace and blessings be upon him) — :Mishkat al-Masabih 3080, so that a man having one wife protects him and protects her, this is an obligatory matter that is necessary, even if he were a monk; because there is no monasticism in Islam. Since we know that, then we say: a son of his father marries and wants to take a second, but his parents stand between him and that; so does he disobey them and contradict them to the second marriage? The answer — also — is from the previous rule: if the matter revolves between a harm and a benefit, leaving the harm and not seeking the benefit is given precedence, staying away from the harm.
And there is no doubt that contradicting the parents is disobedience, whereas taking a second wife is obedience, but it is not obligatory. And at that time, if the matter for this son revolves between committing the harm of disobedience and doing the benefit of taking a second, the first matter is given precedence over the second, so he does not disobey his parents, even if the result of that is leaving the recommended matter.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Here there is a hadith that came in the authentic collections that 'Umar ibn al-Khattab, I mention this hadith because it may indicate the opposite of what I mentioned earlier. It came in the authentic collections that 'Abd Allah ibn 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with them both) — his father ordered him to divorce his wife, so he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asking him about that; so his saying — (peace be upon him) — was that he said to him:, .
Another questioner : May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh. May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : May Allah bless you.
The questioner : There is a question, actually, returning to plural marriage. A man wanted to marry a second wife, and the opposition from his parents was severe; so does he proceed with the marriage, or does he obey his parents in the matter?
The Shaykh : This is an important question. The answer is by reminding of a rule: if the matter revolves between a harm and a benefit, removing the harm takes precedence.
- Start with your right hand, there = [NoteThe Shaykh : to one of the attendees] -.
So giving precedence to removing the harm takes precedence over seeking the benefit, especially if the benefit is not obligatory, but rather recommended, as we are now in this topic. Plural marriage is a recommended matter, whereas having only one wife is an obligatory matter.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Due to his saying — (peace and blessings be upon him) — :
Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.
يا معشر الشباب من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج ؛ فإنه أغضُّ للبصر ، وأحصن للفرج ، ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم ؛ فإنه له وجاءAnd there is no doubt that contradicting the parents is disobedience, whereas taking a second wife is obedience, but it is not obligatory. And at that time, if the matter for this son revolves between committing the harm of disobedience and doing the benefit of taking a second, the first matter is given precedence over the second, so he does not disobey his parents, even if the result of that is leaving the recommended matter.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Here there is a hadith that came in the authentic collections that 'Umar ibn al-Khattab, I mention this hadith because it may indicate the opposite of what I mentioned earlier. It came in the authentic collections that 'Abd Allah ibn 'Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with them both) — his father ordered him to divorce his wife, so he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asking him about that; so his saying — (peace be upon him) — was that he said to him:
Obey your father.
أطع أباكObey your father.
أطع أباك
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.