Is it permissible for us women to apply the noble verse (and abandon them in their beds), meaning abandoning our husbands in bed when they deviate or stray from the right path, or what should we do?
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The questioner : The questioner says: Is it permissible for us women to apply the noble verse: [An-Nisa 4:34] meaning abandoning our husbands in bed when they deviate or stray from the correct, sound path, or what should we do? May Allah reward you with good?
The Shaykh : The verse does not concern women, for Allah said:[An-Nisa 4:34] As for the defiance of the husband, Allah the Exalted said: [An-Nisa 4:128] So Allah the Exalted guided to reconciliation in the case where a woman fears defiance from her husband, and He did not command her to admonish him, abandon him, or strike him, for it is not possible for a woman to have authority over a man. Indeed, when it was said to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that the Persians had made their king the daughter of Kisra, he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2262Sahih (Darussalam) However, if we take the generality of His saying, the Exalted: [Al-Baqarah 2:194] we say: It is permissible for a woman, if her husband prevents her from her right, to prevent him from his right until he straightens out in the command of Allah, due to the generality of the verse: [Al-Baqarah 2:194] So if he is falling short in her right and she sees that he will not straighten out and fulfill what Allah has obligated upon him regarding treating the woman with kindness, she may prevent him from his right just as he prevented her from her right, and there is no harm in that.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِThe Shaykh : The verse does not concern women, for Allah said:
But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًاAnd if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them
وَإِنِ امْرَأَةٌ خَافَتْ مِنْ بَعْلِهَا نُشُوزًا أَوْ إِعْرَاضًا فَلا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا أَنْ يُصْلِحَا بَيْنَهُمَا صُلْحًاA people will never succeed who give their leadership to a woman.
لن يفلح قوم ولوا أمرهم امرأةSo whoever has assaulted you, then assault him in the same way that he has assaulted you
فَمَنِ اعْتَدَى عَلَيْكُمْ فَاعْتَدُوا عَلَيْهِ بِمِثْلِ مَا اعْتَدَى عَلَيْكُمْSo whoever has assaulted you, then assault him in the same way that he has assaulted you
فَمَنِ اعْتَدَى عَلَيْكُمْ فَاعْتَدُوا عَلَيْهِ بِمِثْلِ مَا اعْتَدَى عَلَيْكُمْThe questioner : May Allah reward you with good.