We request a brief speech encouraging young men to marry girls from their own country and not go beyond that?
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The questioner : The questioner, A.F.B. from the Qaryat region, we addressed one of her questions in a previous episode. She has this remaining question: She asks the honorable Shaykh to deliver a brief speech encouraging young men to marry girls from their own country and not go beyond that, may Allah reward you?
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and his Companions, and those who follow them in excellence until the Day of Judgment. I encourage young men to marry, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged them to do so, and he said (peace and blessings be upon him)Mishkat al-Masabih 3080 I also encourage them to do what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) encouraged them to do, which is to marry a woman of faith and good character, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said Sahih al-Bukhari 5090 and he said (may the prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) because the "affectionate" one, meaning the one who is very affectionate, provides a good companionship that is not found in others. The affectionate one also encourages her husband to have intercourse with her, so the children increase. I encourage our sons to marry the daughters of our own kind from the country, because they are closer to discipline, to knowing the husband's intention, to knowing the customs, and to less expense. I do not mean by "less expense" a lower mahr, because generally the women of the country have a higher mahr than the women of other countries. But what follows the marriage with women from other countries is heavy and burdensome. You find that she needs to travel at least once a year, she needs the expense of travel, she needs the person to travel with her himself or to bring a mahram for her from her country, she needs gifts for her relatives and kin, so her expenses are many. Then, if Allah the Exalted decrees a separation between her and her husband, problems arise that a person cannot escape from if there are children between them.
Then, her customs and what she was accustomed to in her country generally contradict the customs here, so this leads to harshness and dissatisfaction, because either she dominates her husband with her customs, or he dominates her with his customs. In that case, there is generally harshness or dissatisfaction despite the politeness. And whoever reflects on what has happened and is happening knows the reality.
Then, we have many women in our country who remain unmarried. Should we bring the daughters of people from abroad and leave our daughters to worry, grief, and fitnah (trial)? This is not appropriate. The young man might say that the mahr for our women is high. We say yes, but the solution is not to bring the daughters of other countries to our country. The solution is to try, as much as possible, to eliminate this phenomenon, which is the highness of mahr. This is done by the gathering of the honorable and prominent people in the country to set a specific amount for the benefit, and we say this mahr is set for the young virgin, and this mahr is set for the older married woman. Then, when the man marries, let him give his wife what he wishes; no one prevents him, or she gives him what she wishes of her mahr if she is of sound mind; no one prevents her. And if that does not work, meaning if the gathering of the elders and honorable people does not work, there is no objection in my view to the authorities intervening in this and solving the problem in whatever way they wish, as it does not go beyond the scope of the Shari'ah. Because the reality is that this is a problem that causes harm and corruption. Therefore, I call upon our Muslim brothers to be serious in finding a solution to this problem, at the tribal level, the local level, or the governmental level, until this problem is resolved and our young men marry our young women, and we become one family. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you for this good and blessed guidance, honorable Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and I send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and his Companions, and those who follow them in excellence until the Day of Judgment. I encourage young men to marry, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged them to do so, and he said (peace and blessings be upon him)
Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.
يا معشر الشباب من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوّج فإنه أغض للبصر وأحصن للفرج ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم فإنه له وجاءA woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.
تُنكح المرأة لأربع لمالها وحسبها وجمالها ودينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداكMarry those who are loving and fertile
تزوّجوا الودود الولودThen, her customs and what she was accustomed to in her country generally contradict the customs here, so this leads to harshness and dissatisfaction, because either she dominates her husband with her customs, or he dominates her with his customs. In that case, there is generally harshness or dissatisfaction despite the politeness. And whoever reflects on what has happened and is happening knows the reality.
Then, we have many women in our country who remain unmarried. Should we bring the daughters of people from abroad and leave our daughters to worry, grief, and fitnah (trial)? This is not appropriate. The young man might say that the mahr for our women is high. We say yes, but the solution is not to bring the daughters of other countries to our country. The solution is to try, as much as possible, to eliminate this phenomenon, which is the highness of mahr. This is done by the gathering of the honorable and prominent people in the country to set a specific amount for the benefit, and we say this mahr is set for the young virgin, and this mahr is set for the older married woman. Then, when the man marries, let him give his wife what he wishes; no one prevents him, or she gives him what she wishes of her mahr if she is of sound mind; no one prevents her. And if that does not work, meaning if the gathering of the elders and honorable people does not work, there is no objection in my view to the authorities intervening in this and solving the problem in whatever way they wish, as it does not go beyond the scope of the Shari'ah. Because the reality is that this is a problem that causes harm and corruption. Therefore, I call upon our Muslim brothers to be serious in finding a solution to this problem, at the tribal level, the local level, or the governmental level, until this problem is resolved and our young men marry our young women, and we become one family. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you for this good and blessed guidance, honorable Shaykh.