Many wives burden their husbands with what they cannot bear and put them in debt, and when asked why they do so, they say: This is my right. Is this correct?
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The questioner : And this questioner says: May peace and mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you, O honorable Shaykh.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and Allah's mercy and blessings.
The questioner : He says: Many wives burden their husbands with what they cannot bear and put them in debt, and when asked why they do so, they say: This is my right. Is this correct? Please inform us, may Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : This is not correct. It is not permissible for a woman to burden her husband by demanding that he be like the richest of people, and he is not obligated by the Shari'ah to do so. This is part of the bad conduct of the wife. Allah the Mighty and Majestic said: And He the Exalted said: [At-Talaq 65:7].
Therefore, it is not permissible for a woman to ask her husband for more maintenance than he can afford, nor is it permissible for her to ask for more than what is customary, even if he can afford it, due to His saying: and His saying the Exalted: [Al-Baqarah 2:228].
Likewise, it is not permissible for the husband to withhold the maintenance that is obligatory upon him, because some husbands, may Allah protect us from that, are afflicted with stinginess, and you find that he does not fulfill the obligation that is required of him regarding spending on his wife and his family.
Suppose this stingy husband is in a situation where the woman is able to take some money without his permission, is it permissible for her to take it?
The answer: Yes, it is permissible, because the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) issued a ruling for Hind bint 'Utbah when she complained that her husband was stingy and did not give her enough maintenance for herself and her children. He said:.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and Allah's mercy and blessings.
The questioner : He says: Many wives burden their husbands with what they cannot bear and put them in debt, and when asked why they do so, they say: This is my right. Is this correct? Please inform us, may Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : This is not correct. It is not permissible for a woman to burden her husband by demanding that he be like the richest of people, and he is not obligated by the Shari'ah to do so. This is part of the bad conduct of the wife. Allah the Mighty and Majestic said:
and live with them in kindness
وعاشروهن بالمعروفLet a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted - let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it
ولينفق ذو سعة من سعته ومن قدر عليه رزقه فلينفق مما آتاه الله لا يكلف الله نفسا إلا ما آتاهاTherefore, it is not permissible for a woman to ask her husband for more maintenance than he can afford, nor is it permissible for her to ask for more than what is customary, even if he can afford it, due to His saying:
and live with them in kindness
وعاشروهن بالمعروفAnd due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable
ولهن مثل الذي عليهن بالمعروفLikewise, it is not permissible for the husband to withhold the maintenance that is obligatory upon him, because some husbands, may Allah protect us from that, are afflicted with stinginess, and you find that he does not fulfill the obligation that is required of him regarding spending on his wife and his family.
Suppose this stingy husband is in a situation where the woman is able to take some money without his permission, is it permissible for her to take it?
The answer: Yes, it is permissible, because the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) issued a ruling for Hind bint 'Utbah when she complained that her husband was stingy and did not give her enough maintenance for herself and her children. He said: