Is it permissible for a son to disobey his father who prevents him from marrying on the pretext of studying?
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The questioner : May Allah reward you. The questioner asks: Is it permissible for a son to disobey his father who prevents him from marrying on the pretext of studying?
The Shaykh : It is permissible for a son to disobey his father if he wants to marry and the father says, "Do not marry," on the pretext of studying. As long as the son is capable of marriage, he should disobey his father if he prevents him, because we have two things: the command of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the prohibition of the father. So do we obey the command of the Messenger or comply with the prohibition of the father? Answer, everyone.
The student: We obey the command of the Messenger.
The Shaykh : We obey the command of the Messenger. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Mishkat al-Masabih 3080 As for studying, marriage does not prevent it or diminish it in any way. In fact, a man may be more diligent in his pursuit of knowledge after he marries than before, because he lowers his gaze and the desire for marriage in his heart is removed. When he marries, he becomes settled and established. So let him disobey his father in obedience to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). And whoever obeys the Messenger has obeyed Allah. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Then I say to the father who says, "Do not marry for the sake of studying," we tell him: Fear Allah. Put yourself in your son's position today; he is a young man who wants to marry. Would you be satisfied if someone prevented you? He would never be satisfied with that. So how can he choose for his son what he would not choose for himself? This is a mistake.
We also say that if the son is studying and asks you to marry him, and you are able to marry him, it is obligatory for you to marry him. That is, it is obligatory for the father, if he is wealthy and his son is poor and asks to marry, that the father should marry him. If one wife suffices him, that is fine; otherwise, it is obligatory for him to marry him to a second. If the second suffices him, that is fine; otherwise, it is obligatory for him to marry him to a third. If the third suffices him, that is fine; otherwise, it is obligatory for him to marry him to a fourth, until he is chaste. The legal principle in this matter is that whoever is obligated to provide for a person is obligated to make him chaste. Yes.
The Shaykh : It is permissible for a son to disobey his father if he wants to marry and the father says, "Do not marry," on the pretext of studying. As long as the son is capable of marriage, he should disobey his father if he prevents him, because we have two things: the command of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the prohibition of the father. So do we obey the command of the Messenger or comply with the prohibition of the father? Answer, everyone.
The student: We obey the command of the Messenger.
The Shaykh : We obey the command of the Messenger. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality
يا معشر الشباب من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج فإنه أغض للبصر وأحصن للفرجThe questioner : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Then I say to the father who says, "Do not marry for the sake of studying," we tell him: Fear Allah. Put yourself in your son's position today; he is a young man who wants to marry. Would you be satisfied if someone prevented you? He would never be satisfied with that. So how can he choose for his son what he would not choose for himself? This is a mistake.
We also say that if the son is studying and asks you to marry him, and you are able to marry him, it is obligatory for you to marry him. That is, it is obligatory for the father, if he is wealthy and his son is poor and asks to marry, that the father should marry him. If one wife suffices him, that is fine; otherwise, it is obligatory for him to marry him to a second. If the second suffices him, that is fine; otherwise, it is obligatory for him to marry him to a third. If the third suffices him, that is fine; otherwise, it is obligatory for him to marry him to a fourth, until he is chaste. The legal principle in this matter is that whoever is obligated to provide for a person is obligated to make him chaste. Yes.