What is the ruling on one who boycotts his brother for more than a year over a matter of this world, and how is reconciliation to be achieved between them?
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The questioner : Peace be upon you, and Allah's mercy and blessings.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and Allah's mercy and blessings.
The questioner : What is your opinion, O honorable Shaykh, regarding people who quarreled over things of this world, and the matter ended with one not greeting the other for a month, two months, a year, two years, three years, or more? One comes upon the other and does not greet him, does not eat with him, and does not sit with him, meaning he has boycotted him. What is your opinion of these people, who are my relatives, and what is required of me regarding them, O Shaykh? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : I say: This is a bad deed from the major sins, for:Sunan Abi Dawud 4911Sahih (Al-Albani) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1932Sahih (Darussalam).
And resentment, enmity, and hatred are from the casting of Satan:[Al-Ma'idah 5:91] as well as other than intoxicants and gambling.
And resentment among people can be a barrier to good, for deeds are presented to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) on Mondays and Thursdays. Allah (Mighty and Majestic) looks, and if there is resentment and enmity between two people, He says (Mighty and Majestic):. It is also reported that resentment prevents the blessing of the Night of Decree, and that it is not forgiven for two people between whom there is resentment and enmity in this great night.
So it is obligatory for you to strive for reconciliation between them, to strive for reconciliation between them even if you cut off something from your wealth for this, because you will gain three benefits:
The first benefit: that you spend your wealth in obedience to Allah.
The second benefit: that you reconcile between two Muslims.
The third benefit: that you become a cause for maintaining family ties, because these are relatives. So if you reconcile between them, you remove the resentment and enmity, and then you make them communicate, so you are the cause. So strive, may Allah reward you with good, to work for reconciliation between them as much as you can, even with something of your wealth.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and Allah's mercy and blessings.
The questioner : What is your opinion, O honorable Shaykh, regarding people who quarreled over things of this world, and the matter ended with one not greeting the other for a month, two months, a year, two years, three years, or more? One comes upon the other and does not greet him, does not eat with him, and does not sit with him, meaning he has boycotted him. What is your opinion of these people, who are my relatives, and what is required of me regarding them, O Shaykh? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : I say: This is a bad deed from the major sins, for:
it is not allowable for a Muslim to keep apart from his brother for more than three days. When they meet, this turns away from him, and that turns away from him
لا يحل للمؤمن أن يهجر أخاه فوق ثلاثة أيام، يلتقيان فيعرض هذا ويعرض هذاThe best of them is the one who initiates the Salam.
وخيرهما الذي يبدأ بالسلامAnd resentment, enmity, and hatred are from the casting of Satan:
Satan only wants to cause between you animosity and hatred through intoxicants and gambling
إِنَّمَا يُرِيدُ الشَّيْطَانُ أَنْ يُوقِعَ بَيْنَكُمُ الْعَدَاوَةَ وَالْبَغْضَاءَ فِي الْخَمْرِ وَالْمَيْسِرِAnd resentment among people can be a barrier to good, for deeds are presented to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) on Mondays and Thursdays. Allah (Mighty and Majestic) looks, and if there is resentment and enmity between two people, He says (Mighty and Majestic):
Look at these two until they reconcile
أنظرا هذين حتى يصطلحاSo it is obligatory for you to strive for reconciliation between them, to strive for reconciliation between them even if you cut off something from your wealth for this, because you will gain three benefits:
The first benefit: that you spend your wealth in obedience to Allah.
The second benefit: that you reconcile between two Muslims.
The third benefit: that you become a cause for maintaining family ties, because these are relatives. So if you reconcile between them, you remove the resentment and enmity, and then you make them communicate, so you are the cause. So strive, may Allah reward you with good, to work for reconciliation between them as much as you can, even with something of your wealth.