Is it permissible to attend feasts that contain what is wrong, such as drumming?

The questioner : The questioner says: O honorable Shaykh, it is well known that during the vacation, occasions such as weddings and feasts are numerous. Is it permissible for a person to attend a feast or a wedding that contains what is wrong, such as drumming, singing, or the like?

The Shaykh : Yes, this is a pertinent question, because people usually get married during this vacation and hold wedding feasts. The wedding feast is originally prescribed; that is, it is recommended for the groom to hold a feast, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to 'Abd al-Rahman ibn 'Awf: However, the feast should be moderate, meaning it should be of a specific size so that it does not lead to extravagance, arrogance, or excess in food. Likewise, excess in the venue is not allowed, for we have been informed that some people rent an entire hotel for the night for one hundred thousand or similar amounts. This is arrogance, and it is one of the causes of the decrease in marriages, because the groom is not prepared to spend such sums, and when will he be able to obtain such sums? If people were to limit themselves to a modest feast attended by the groom's relatives, the bride's relatives, and the nearest neighbors, that would be the good, as was the custom in the past. As for if the feast includes what is forbidden, we say: if a person has influence and status, and by his presence he can stop the forbidden matter, then attending is obligatory for him; he must attend, because by his presence he gains two benefits: the first is responding to the invitation, and the second is removing what is wrong. But if he is unable to do so, he should not attend, because if he attends and participates with them, or sits but does not stand up and leave, he becomes like them in sin, may Allah protect us from that. Among what is wrong is what we have been informed about some women who come wearing abayas in the street, but when they enter, they throw off the abayas and become as if they are naked, may Allah protect us from that; this is what is wrong. And among what is wrong is that some women attend with cameras and film the scene, and perhaps some foolish men hide and do the same; this is also among the great wrongs. And among what is wrong is that the groom comes to the women's gathering and has prepared a seat or, if you will, a platform where he and the bride sit in front of the women, until it is said that some foolish men kiss the bride in front of the women! I seek refuge in Allah! Does this not arouse desire? Answer me, everyone? Yes, by Allah, no matter how mindful of Allah a woman is, if she sees a young man and a young woman kissing each other, her desire will be aroused. And perhaps he brings an apple or a sweet and feeds it to the bride in front of the women; all of this is fitnah and is forbidden without doubt. And uglier than that is that some people bring a video to film this scene. All of this has happened recently, and its cause is what the poet said:
"Indeed, youth, idleness, and wealth *** are corruption for a man, what corruption"
Idleness means having no work, not working to strive for his family or for himself; he is idle. Youth means being young, because the older person is sensible and does not let times go to waste.
What is the third? Wealth, meaning affluence, is corruption, except for whom Allah the Mighty and Majestic guides. The summary now is that attending feasts is a sunnah (recommended practice), but if there is something forbidden in it, if you are able to change it, attend and change it; otherwise, do not attend. Yes.