A man proposed to a woman but did not marry her, and due to a bad disagreement between them, he said: “She is forbidden to me, like my mother and my sister.” After that, the bad disagreement went away. What is the solution?
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The questioner : This questioner says, “O honorable Shaykh, a man proposed to a woman but did not marry her, and due to a bad disagreement between them, he said, ‘She is forbidden to me, like my mother and my sister.’ Then the bad disagreement went away. What is the solution to this case? May you be rewarded.”
The Shaykh : The solution to this case is easy, and praise be to Allah. But this statement made by this man is a denunciation and a lie, in which he likened a woman who is lawful for him to a woman who is forbidden to him. This is called zihar, based on the saying of Allah the Exalted:[Al-Mujadila 58:3] and His saying: [Al-Mujadila 58:2].
It is obligatory for this man, first, to repent to Allah from this denunciation and lie.
Second, he must not touch his wife until he does what Allah has commanded him to do: he must free a slave if he finds one. If he does not find one, he must fast for two consecutive months. If he does not find the means to do that, he must feed sixty poor people. Once he has performed this expiation, it becomes lawful for him to touch his wife. Otherwise, it is not lawful for him to touch his wife, based on the saying of Allah the Exalted:[Al-Mujadila 58:3] regarding the freeing of a slave and fasting. The fact that Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) did not mention this regarding feeding does not mean that touching is permissible before feeding. It is well known that feeding is easier than freeing a slave and easier than fasting. If a person is prevented from touching before freeing a slave and before fasting, then preventing him from touching before feeding is even more so. Therefore, it came in the hadith that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1199Hasan (Darussalam). Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : The solution to this case is easy, and praise be to Allah. But this statement made by this man is a denunciation and a lie, in which he likened a woman who is lawful for him to a woman who is forbidden to him. This is called zihar, based on the saying of Allah the Exalted:
And those who pronounce thihar from their wives and then [wish to] go back on what they said
وَالَّذينَ يُظاهِرونَ مِن نِسائِهِم ثُمَّ يَعودونَ لِما قالواThose who pronounce thihar among you [to separate] from their wives - they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allah is Pardoning and Forgiving.
الَّذينَ يُظاهِرونَ مِنكُم مِن نِسائِهِم ما هُنَّ أُمَّهاتِهِم إِن أُمَّهاتُهُم إِلَّا اللّائي وَلَدنَهُم وَإِنَّهُم لَيَقولونَ مُنكَرًا مِنَ القَولِ وَزورًا وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَعَفُوٌّ غَفورٌIt is obligatory for this man, first, to repent to Allah from this denunciation and lie.
Second, he must not touch his wife until he does what Allah has commanded him to do: he must free a slave if he finds one. If he does not find one, he must fast for two consecutive months. If he does not find the means to do that, he must feed sixty poor people. Once he has performed this expiation, it becomes lawful for him to touch his wife. Otherwise, it is not lawful for him to touch his wife, based on the saying of Allah the Exalted:
before they touch one another
من قبل أن يتماساThen do not go near her until you have done what Allah ordered (for it).
لا تقربها حتى تفعل ما أمرك الله بهThe questioner : May Allah bless you.