He says: I am a man married to two women. One of them, the first, had a misunderstanding with my mother. I heard her speaking about her in ugly terms, so I said to her:
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The questioner : He says: I am a man married to two women. One of them, the first, had a misunderstanding with my mother. I heard her speaking about her in ugly terms, so I said to her: "I have made you like my mother or my sister." I then went to her house. I have tried to take her back, but she conditions it on me separating her from my mother in terms of residence. What is the ruling, first, regarding what I said to her? Is it permissible to take her back and grant her request to separate her from my mother? And what should I do if I cannot afford that financially?
The Shaykh : As for your saying: "I have made you like my mother", this is forbidden and not permissible for you.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : For Allah the Exalted said:[Al-Mujadila 58:2] So you must repent to Allah from this statement. If you wish to return to your wife, you must not approach her until you fulfill what Allah has made obligatory upon you of expiation.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : You must free a slave if that is possible; otherwise, you must fast two consecutive months before touching her. If you are unable to fast, you must feed sixty poor people, as Allah the Exalted said in Surat al-Mujadilah. As for her returning to you and separating her from your mother, if the situation between her and your mother does not settle and there is hardship and fatigue between them, there is no blame on you for separating her from your mother. In this case, you must fulfill what Allah has made obligatory upon you of dutifulness to your mother, and fulfill what Allah has made obligatory upon you of treating your wife with kindness. However, the wise person looks to see whether the error lies with the mother or with the wife, and tries to reconcile as much as possible before separation. If reconciliation is not possible, you have the right to separate your wife from your mother.
And I say: your wife, because this is the eloquent language that came in the Qur'an and that came in the Sunnah, and it is the requirement of the Arabic language, even though the language known among people is that the female is called: wife with a ta marbuta. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : As for your saying: "I have made you like my mother", this is forbidden and not permissible for you.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : For Allah the Exalted said:
Those who pronounce thihar among you [to separate] from their wives - they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood
الَّذِينَ يُظَاهِرُونَ مِنْكُمْ مِنْ نِسَائِهِمْ مَا هُنَّ أُمَّهَاتِهِمْ أن أُمَّهَاتُهُمْ إِلَّا اللَّائِي وَلَدْنَهُمْ وَإِنَّهُمْ لَيَقُولُونَ مُنْكَرًا مِنَ الْقَوْلِ وَزُورًاThe questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : You must free a slave if that is possible; otherwise, you must fast two consecutive months before touching her. If you are unable to fast, you must feed sixty poor people, as Allah the Exalted said in Surat al-Mujadilah. As for her returning to you and separating her from your mother, if the situation between her and your mother does not settle and there is hardship and fatigue between them, there is no blame on you for separating her from your mother. In this case, you must fulfill what Allah has made obligatory upon you of dutifulness to your mother, and fulfill what Allah has made obligatory upon you of treating your wife with kindness. However, the wise person looks to see whether the error lies with the mother or with the wife, and tries to reconcile as much as possible before separation. If reconciliation is not possible, you have the right to separate your wife from your mother.
And I say: your wife, because this is the eloquent language that came in the Qur'an and that came in the Sunnah, and it is the requirement of the Arabic language, even though the language known among people is that the female is called: wife with a ta marbuta. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you.