A girl's dislike of her mother due to living with her father after her mother's divorce
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Q: A girl hates her mother intensely, and the mother does not know about it. This girl lived far from her mother with her father and did not see her except in adulthood because of the mother's divorce due to family circumstances. It is known that she gives gifts to her mother. She asked some scholars, and they said: "The inclinations of the hearts are not something for which the Lord holds one accountable." What is your opinion?
A: There is no doubt that the hearts are in the hand of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), and He turns them however He wills (Mighty and Majestic). So love and hate are matters in the hand of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), but they have causes. If the mother is compassionate toward her daughter and cares for her affairs, then this is among the causes of love. And if the mother is not so, if she turns away from the daughter and does not care about her, or if her absence from her is prolonged—as is the case with the questioner—then this may cause some dislike and coldness.
The obligatory duty of the aforementioned girl is to fear Allah in this matter, and to strive to maintain ties with her mother, be kind to her, and speak good words to her in all circumstances. She should ask her Lord to expand her chest for the love of her mother, for the right of the mother is great. If she cannot do that, the matter is in the hand of Allah and it does not harm her. For this reason, it was among the supplication of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): The hearts are in the hand of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), and He turns them however He wills (Glorified and Exalted is He).
It is obligatory for the daughter mentioned to be humble before Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) and to ask Him to expand her chest for the love of her mother and the fulfillment of her rights as Allah has prescribed. She must do what she can of kindness, maintaining family ties, giving gifts, and other forms of dutifulness. If she is sincere in this, Allah will make every good thing easy for her. Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) says: : [al-Taghabun:16] And He says (Glorified and Exalted is He): [al-Baqarah:286].
A: There is no doubt that the hearts are in the hand of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), and He turns them however He wills (Mighty and Majestic). So love and hate are matters in the hand of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), but they have causes. If the mother is compassionate toward her daughter and cares for her affairs, then this is among the causes of love. And if the mother is not so, if she turns away from the daughter and does not care about her, or if her absence from her is prolonged—as is the case with the questioner—then this may cause some dislike and coldness.
The obligatory duty of the aforementioned girl is to fear Allah in this matter, and to strive to maintain ties with her mother, be kind to her, and speak good words to her in all circumstances. She should ask her Lord to expand her chest for the love of her mother, for the right of the mother is great. If she cannot do that, the matter is in the hand of Allah and it does not harm her. For this reason, it was among the supplication of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
O Allah, O Turner of hearts, make our hearts firm upon Your religion, and O Turner of hearts, turn my heart toward Your obedience
اللهم يا مقلب القلوب، ثبت قلوبنا على دينك، ويا مصرف القلوب، صرف قلبي على طاعتكIt is obligatory for the daughter mentioned to be humble before Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) and to ask Him to expand her chest for the love of her mother and the fulfillment of her rights as Allah has prescribed. She must do what she can of kindness, maintaining family ties, giving gifts, and other forms of dutifulness. If she is sincere in this, Allah will make every good thing easy for her. Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) says: :
So fear Allah as much as you are able
فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُمْAllah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity
لا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلا وُسْعَهَا
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.