Is a son held accountable for his disobedience to his parents before he reaches puberty?
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Question:
Our brother asks another question and says: During my father's life—may Allah have mercy on him—when I was young and had not yet passed the age of fourteen, I used to anger him and did not listen to what he said. Is this considered undutifulness to parents? And do I owe an expiation? I fear that he may have passed away while angry with me. I ask for your guidance. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Yes, this is undutifulness to parents, unless he ordered you to do something that is not permissible in the Shari'ah and you opposed him; that is not undutifulness, because obedience is in what is right, not in sin. So if you disobey your father in what is right, that is undutifulness. If he orders you to pray and you do not pray, that is undutifulness. If he orders you to be dutiful to your mother and you refuse, that is undutifulness. If he forbids you from insulting people or oppressing people and you refuse, that is undutifulness and also a sin against Allah.
In summary, if he orders you to do what benefits you and forbids you from what harms you, or orders you to do what benefits you without hardship on you, and you are able to do it, then opposing him is undutifulness, and insulting him is undutifulness.
As for if it is in the sins of Allah, it is not permissible for you to obey him in the sins of Allah. If he says to you: "Do not pray in congregation," you are not required to obey him. Or if he says to you: "Drink intoxicants," you are not required to obey him. Or if he says to you: "Use tobacco," you are not required to obey him in this; because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Abi Dawud 2625Sahih (Al-Albani) and his saying—peace and blessings be upon him—: Mishkat al-Masabih 3696.
And you must seek forgiveness from Allah and repent to Him for what you fell short of regarding your father. If you had not reached puberty, the matter is easier. If you were young when you disobeyed him and had not reached puberty, the matter is easier. But despite all this, you should pray for him a lot, seek forgiveness for him a lot, and give charity on his behalf if you can, and seek forgiveness from Allah for your shortcomings; because you may have been lax in that after reaching puberty. Yes.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.
Our brother asks another question and says: During my father's life—may Allah have mercy on him—when I was young and had not yet passed the age of fourteen, I used to anger him and did not listen to what he said. Is this considered undutifulness to parents? And do I owe an expiation? I fear that he may have passed away while angry with me. I ask for your guidance. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Yes, this is undutifulness to parents, unless he ordered you to do something that is not permissible in the Shari'ah and you opposed him; that is not undutifulness, because obedience is in what is right, not in sin. So if you disobey your father in what is right, that is undutifulness. If he orders you to pray and you do not pray, that is undutifulness. If he orders you to be dutiful to your mother and you refuse, that is undutifulness. If he forbids you from insulting people or oppressing people and you refuse, that is undutifulness and also a sin against Allah.
In summary, if he orders you to do what benefits you and forbids you from what harms you, or orders you to do what benefits you without hardship on you, and you are able to do it, then opposing him is undutifulness, and insulting him is undutifulness.
As for if it is in the sins of Allah, it is not permissible for you to obey him in the sins of Allah. If he says to you: "Do not pray in congregation," you are not required to obey him. Or if he says to you: "Drink intoxicants," you are not required to obey him. Or if he says to you: "Use tobacco," you are not required to obey him in this; because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Obedience is in matters which are good and universally recognized.
إنما الطاعة في المعروفA creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the "Creator.”
لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالقAnd you must seek forgiveness from Allah and repent to Him for what you fell short of regarding your father. If you had not reached puberty, the matter is easier. If you were young when you disobeyed him and had not reached puberty, the matter is easier. But despite all this, you should pray for him a lot, seek forgiveness for him a lot, and give charity on his behalf if you can, and seek forgiveness from Allah for your shortcomings; because you may have been lax in that after reaching puberty. Yes.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.