The ruling on one who says "No" upon the death of a relative, in surprise rather than objection
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Question:
She says: When I receive news of the death of one of my close relatives, I do not wail, but when the news reaches me, I gasp and say: "No." The word "No" is not an objection from me, but an expression of surprise. Then I say: "There is no god but Allah." Is this gasping considered a loss of the reward for patience at the first shock?
Answer:
No, this is not wailing, this is not wailing. Wailing is raising the voice with crying out. As for the eye shedding tears, or the tongue rushing ahead with the word "No," or a gasp, meaning a shock, that does not harm; because the person does not intend to oppose the divine decree. Rather, this may occur due to the intensity of the shock, the severity of the calamity, so one gasps, or says: "No," meaning: the news is not true, it is not true; because he found it objectionable. So this is not from wailing. Wailing is raising the voice, and it is not permissible to raise the voice at a calamity.
As for the eye shedding tears, a person weeping with tears from the eye, our Lord does not punish for this. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih al-Bukhari 1303 When his son Ibrahim died, he said -may peace and blessings be upon him-: Sahih al-Bukhari 1303 And he said -may peace and blessings be upon him- to the Companions one day: meaning: by wailing. Yes.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good. Our sister asks: Is this considered a lack of patience at the first shock?
The Shaykh : This does not harm. What harms is if she wails, or scratches her face, or tears her garment. This is what is forbidden; due to the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sahih Muslim 104a The "salqah" is the one who raises her voice at a calamity, the "halqah" is the one who shaves her hair at a calamity, or plucks it, and the "shaqqah" is the one who tears her garment at a calamity. So it is obligatory to be cautious of this. Yes.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good, and may He do you good.
She says: When I receive news of the death of one of my close relatives, I do not wail, but when the news reaches me, I gasp and say: "No." The word "No" is not an objection from me, but an expression of surprise. Then I say: "There is no god but Allah." Is this gasping considered a loss of the reward for patience at the first shock?
Answer:
No, this is not wailing, this is not wailing. Wailing is raising the voice with crying out. As for the eye shedding tears, or the tongue rushing ahead with the word "No," or a gasp, meaning a shock, that does not harm; because the person does not intend to oppose the divine decree. Rather, this may occur due to the intensity of the shock, the severity of the calamity, so one gasps, or says: "No," meaning: the news is not true, it is not true; because he found it objectionable. So this is not from wailing. Wailing is raising the voice, and it is not permissible to raise the voice at a calamity.
As for the eye shedding tears, a person weeping with tears from the eye, our Lord does not punish for this. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved
العين تدمع، والقلب يحزنThe eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.
العين تدمع، والقلب يحزن، ولا نقول إلا ما يرضي الرب، وإنا بفراقك يا إبراهيم لمحزونونKnow that Allah does not take to account the tears of the eye, nor the grief of the heart, but He takes to account this, or shows mercy, and he pointed to his tongue
اعلموا أن الله لا يؤاخذ بدمع العين، ولا بحزن القلب، وإنما يؤاخذ بهذا، أو يرحم، وأشار إلى لسانهThe presenter : May Allah reward you with good. Our sister asks: Is this considered a lack of patience at the first shock?
The Shaykh : This does not harm. What harms is if she wails, or scratches her face, or tears her garment. This is what is forbidden; due to the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
I have no concern with one with whom the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) has no concern, Verily the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) has no concern with that woman who wails loudly, shaves her hair and tears (her garment in grief).
أنا بريء من الصالقة، والحالقة، والشاقةThe presenter : May Allah reward you with good, and may He do you good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.