What is the ruling on the prohibited matters in wedding celebrations?
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I am about to get married, but I am prevented from doing so by the style of marriage in our area, where it is necessary to hold a wedding party for two days, including excessive singing, dancing, frivolity, and the mixing of men and women. There is no doubt that this is contrary to the religion, and every young man who wants to marry must do this, or else he will not find anyone who will accept him. What must I do in such a situation? What is the permissible limit of frivolity and singing? Is beating drums prescribed? Is it obligatory for me to travel to another country in search of a righteous wife and an Islamic way of marriage? The person asking this question is our brother Mandoor (A. A.) from Libya?
Answer: There is no doubt that many people do not adhere to what is prescribed in marriage or in other matters. It is obligatory for Muslims to adhere to the Shari'ah of Allah in marriage and in other matters, wherever they are, whether in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, in Libya, in the far west of Morocco, in Algeria, in Tunisia, or anywhere else. It is obligatory for the people of Islam to adhere to the religious command, to advise one another to do so, and to cooperate in it, as Allah the Exalted said: [Al-Ma'idah: 2], and He said: [Al-Asr: 1-3].
Therefore, it is necessary to advise one another to truth and to patience in the matter of marriage and in other matters, and in all matters that occur among Muslims. They should cooperate in establishing the prayer in congregation, in paying zakah, in fasting Ramadan and preserving it from what Allah has forbidden, in performing Hajj with the ability to do so, in being dutiful to parents, in maintaining family ties, in abandoning backbiting and talebearing and other sins, in abandoning lying and false testimony, and in abandoning the oppression of people in their wealth, honor, and blood, and so on. It is obligatory for the people of Islam, wherever they are, whether male or female, to fear Allah, to cooperate in obeying Allah and His Messenger, and to cooperate also in abandoning what Allah and His Messenger have forbidden. By doing so, they will attain happiness and salvation in this world and the Hereafter.
And from this is the matter of marriage. Marriage must be in the Shari'ah manner, without ostentation, extravagance, or waste. Rather, moderation is required in everything, and avoiding ostentation, so that marriage becomes more common, and so that the chastity of both women and men is attained. Young men need marriage, and women are also in need of marriage.
Ostentation is engaging in what Allah has forbidden of the prohibited matters. All of this causes the suspension of marriage and the remaining of young men and girls without marriage.
Therefore, it is not permissible for men and women to mix in weddings, nor in other places. Rather, the women must be in a separate place apart, and the men apart. The wedding feast should be moderate, without ostentation or anything that burdens the husband and the wife's family. Rather, they should all seek moderation and what is sufficient for the guests, and they should also be moderate in the invitation, so that it does not burden them.
Likewise, it is prescribed for them to be moderate in mahr (bridal gifts) and to avoid ostentation, and to make mahr easy, so that marriage is attained and so that marriage becomes more common among people.
And from this is also the matter of entertainment. There is no harm in women using the duff, meaning the known drum which has one face, which women beat among themselves in a special place where there is no mixing of men. There is no objection to ordinary songs that have no religious prohibition, among women in the house of the husband or the wife, or the husband's or wife's family, or the like, as was done in the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the time of his Companions. The women of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would attend weddings and attend ordinary singing and ordinary celebrations. All of this is permissible.
As for the presence of female singers and loud voices with amplifiers that occupy people and annoy the neighbors and passersby, and in which prohibited songs are announced, this is not permissible.
Likewise, staying up late which causes people to miss the Fajr prayer and leads to abandoning the prayer that Allah has made obligatory, all of this is not permissible.
Likewise, bringing out musical instruments such as the oud and similar instruments of frivolity and drums, all of this is not permissible.
Only the known drum, which is the duff, is permissible for women, on the condition that it is plain and does not contain anything that causes fitnah (trial, discord or temptation), such as noisy rings or noisy objects. Rather, it is the ordinary duff, the known ordinary drum, which the woman beats and sings the few ordinary songs among them for half an hour or an hour or the like, and then they leave at the beginning of the night. They should not stay up until the end of the night or most of the night, because this harms everyone and causes everyone to sleep through the prayer.
So the conclusion is: It is obligatory for all Muslims in every place to seek in their marriage what Allah has prescribed, and to avoid what Allah has forbidden, and to advise one another to avoid ostentation, not in mahr, not in feasts, not in inviting many people who cause problems, not in bringing out female singers through loudspeakers, and not in bringing out musical instruments other than just the duff and ordinary songs for an appropriate time of the night that ends without length, without hardship, and without staying up for most or all of the night. This is the obligation of Muslims, and this is what is prescribed for them. By this, it becomes easy for Muslims to marry their young men and their girls with appropriate mahr and appropriate costs, without hardship, without blame, and without engaging in what Allah has forbidden.
It is obligatory for the rulers in every country, from the princes and judges, to help people to do good, to prevent them from evil, and to take hold of the hands of the foolish until ... matters are in the Shari'ah manner. This is the obligation of the ruler of the country, the judge of the country, and the notables of the country to cooperate among themselves in this matter, so that they compel people to good and prevent them from evil. When Allah rectifies the leaders, the people will follow them. When the prince and the notables are righteous, and the court and the judges intervene, much good will be attained and people will stop doing what harms them.
And when these and those and these remain silent, evil increases, affliction multiplies, and young men and girls are left without marriage. This is something that Allah and His Messenger do not approve of, and the people of faith and knowledge do not approve of. So we ask Allah for guidance and success for everyone.
The presenter: Our brother asks, saying: If there is no way to change what you have mentioned and explained as it should be, is it obligatory for the Muslim to look for a wife in another place and in another country where that atmosphere is available?
The Shaykh: Yes, it is not necessary for him to marry in his own country. There is no objection to his moving to another country in his land, on the condition that he pays attention to the righteous woman who is far from what Allah has forbidden and from the causes of fitnah (trial, discord or temptation). He should seek her out and ask about her. If he finds her, he should strive for her. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Then he said: Sunan Ibn Majah 1858Sahih (Darussalam).
So the husband strives for the one with religion and cares for her. If beauty or lineage or wealth comes with that, that is more and better. But let not his greatest ambition and his greatest purpose be beauty, for perhaps beauty will make her arrogant, and perhaps beauty will corrupt her for him. But he should strive first for her having religion, for her having religion, and then seek after that what he wants of beauty or lineage or otherwise. If this is added to that, it is good added to good. Otherwise, he should prioritize the one with religion, even if her beauty is little, even if her wealth is little, and even if she has no lineage. The woman is by herself and her religion, not by her lineage and her beauty. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
Answer: There is no doubt that many people do not adhere to what is prescribed in marriage or in other matters. It is obligatory for Muslims to adhere to the Shari'ah of Allah in marriage and in other matters, wherever they are, whether in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, in Libya, in the far west of Morocco, in Algeria, in Tunisia, or anywhere else. It is obligatory for the people of Islam to adhere to the religious command, to advise one another to do so, and to cooperate in it, as Allah the Exalted said:
And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression.
وَتَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْبِرِّ وَالتَّقْوَى وَلا تَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِ(1) By time, (2) Indeed, mankind is in loss, (3) Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.
وَالْعَصْرِ إِنَّ الإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِTherefore, it is necessary to advise one another to truth and to patience in the matter of marriage and in other matters, and in all matters that occur among Muslims. They should cooperate in establishing the prayer in congregation, in paying zakah, in fasting Ramadan and preserving it from what Allah has forbidden, in performing Hajj with the ability to do so, in being dutiful to parents, in maintaining family ties, in abandoning backbiting and talebearing and other sins, in abandoning lying and false testimony, and in abandoning the oppression of people in their wealth, honor, and blood, and so on. It is obligatory for the people of Islam, wherever they are, whether male or female, to fear Allah, to cooperate in obeying Allah and His Messenger, and to cooperate also in abandoning what Allah and His Messenger have forbidden. By doing so, they will attain happiness and salvation in this world and the Hereafter.
And from this is the matter of marriage. Marriage must be in the Shari'ah manner, without ostentation, extravagance, or waste. Rather, moderation is required in everything, and avoiding ostentation, so that marriage becomes more common, and so that the chastity of both women and men is attained. Young men need marriage, and women are also in need of marriage.
Ostentation is engaging in what Allah has forbidden of the prohibited matters. All of this causes the suspension of marriage and the remaining of young men and girls without marriage.
Therefore, it is not permissible for men and women to mix in weddings, nor in other places. Rather, the women must be in a separate place apart, and the men apart. The wedding feast should be moderate, without ostentation or anything that burdens the husband and the wife's family. Rather, they should all seek moderation and what is sufficient for the guests, and they should also be moderate in the invitation, so that it does not burden them.
Likewise, it is prescribed for them to be moderate in mahr (bridal gifts) and to avoid ostentation, and to make mahr easy, so that marriage is attained and so that marriage becomes more common among people.
And from this is also the matter of entertainment. There is no harm in women using the duff, meaning the known drum which has one face, which women beat among themselves in a special place where there is no mixing of men. There is no objection to ordinary songs that have no religious prohibition, among women in the house of the husband or the wife, or the husband's or wife's family, or the like, as was done in the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the time of his Companions. The women of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would attend weddings and attend ordinary singing and ordinary celebrations. All of this is permissible.
As for the presence of female singers and loud voices with amplifiers that occupy people and annoy the neighbors and passersby, and in which prohibited songs are announced, this is not permissible.
Likewise, staying up late which causes people to miss the Fajr prayer and leads to abandoning the prayer that Allah has made obligatory, all of this is not permissible.
Likewise, bringing out musical instruments such as the oud and similar instruments of frivolity and drums, all of this is not permissible.
Only the known drum, which is the duff, is permissible for women, on the condition that it is plain and does not contain anything that causes fitnah (trial, discord or temptation), such as noisy rings or noisy objects. Rather, it is the ordinary duff, the known ordinary drum, which the woman beats and sings the few ordinary songs among them for half an hour or an hour or the like, and then they leave at the beginning of the night. They should not stay up until the end of the night or most of the night, because this harms everyone and causes everyone to sleep through the prayer.
So the conclusion is: It is obligatory for all Muslims in every place to seek in their marriage what Allah has prescribed, and to avoid what Allah has forbidden, and to advise one another to avoid ostentation, not in mahr, not in feasts, not in inviting many people who cause problems, not in bringing out female singers through loudspeakers, and not in bringing out musical instruments other than just the duff and ordinary songs for an appropriate time of the night that ends without length, without hardship, and without staying up for most or all of the night. This is the obligation of Muslims, and this is what is prescribed for them. By this, it becomes easy for Muslims to marry their young men and their girls with appropriate mahr and appropriate costs, without hardship, without blame, and without engaging in what Allah has forbidden.
It is obligatory for the rulers in every country, from the princes and judges, to help people to do good, to prevent them from evil, and to take hold of the hands of the foolish until ... matters are in the Shari'ah manner. This is the obligation of the ruler of the country, the judge of the country, and the notables of the country to cooperate among themselves in this matter, so that they compel people to good and prevent them from evil. When Allah rectifies the leaders, the people will follow them. When the prince and the notables are righteous, and the court and the judges intervene, much good will be attained and people will stop doing what harms them.
And when these and those and these remain silent, evil increases, affliction multiplies, and young men and girls are left without marriage. This is something that Allah and His Messenger do not approve of, and the people of faith and knowledge do not approve of. So we ask Allah for guidance and success for everyone.
The presenter: Our brother asks, saying: If there is no way to change what you have mentioned and explained as it should be, is it obligatory for the Muslim to look for a wife in another place and in another country where that atmosphere is available?
The Shaykh: Yes, it is not necessary for him to marry in his own country. There is no objection to his moving to another country in his land, on the condition that he pays attention to the righteous woman who is far from what Allah has forbidden and from the causes of fitnah (trial, discord or temptation). He should seek her out and ask about her. If he finds her, he should strive for her. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her beauty, for her lineage, and for her religion.
تنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها، ولجمالها، ولحسبها، ولدينهاChoose the religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).
فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداكSo the husband strives for the one with religion and cares for her. If beauty or lineage or wealth comes with that, that is more and better. But let not his greatest ambition and his greatest purpose be beauty, for perhaps beauty will make her arrogant, and perhaps beauty will corrupt her for him. But he should strive first for her having religion, for her having religion, and then seek after that what he wants of beauty or lineage or otherwise. If this is added to that, it is good added to good. Otherwise, he should prioritize the one with religion, even if her beauty is little, even if her wealth is little, and even if she has no lineage. The woman is by herself and her religion, not by her lineage and her beauty. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.